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The Successor, The Fall of Morrow (5.1)

by Moalex


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.

It’d only been five minutes since the start of the operation, yet it felt like hours. The worst part was the loud bangs of gunfire in the distance rather than silent plasma going pew pew. There was only one reason why the soldiers had to revert to good old lead bullets. Time was ticking, and there wasn’t much sand left.

Blaze propelled himself through the air with fire from his feet like a rocket in order to keep up with Cecilia. At one point, he suddenly stopped and tumbled through the ground; groaning and taking heavy breaths while he clutched his head and crotch. Such strange and sudden behavior meant only one thing. At the speed Cecilia ran, she skidded across the ground a bit before she could stop and go help Blaze.

“You okay?” She dragged him a few meters back the way they came and dropped him on the ground.

No longer clutching his head or crotch, but still breathing heavily; he raised his finger and said, “That...So that’s what Lust's pheromones feel like...”

Heavy footsteps shook the ground, tiny rocks bounced, low guttural growls grew louder and louder, and the environment got hotter and hotter by the second.

“She’s the Sin of Lust, what else did you expect it to do?” Cecilia drew a line with her foot where she thinks is the extent of Lust’s pheromones for Blaze. “So you’re going to deal with these guys, right?” She looked up at the thoughtful demon and balrogs that came to greet them.

Blaze picked himself up, still calming down from the massive sex drive that overcame him instantly, “Wouldn’t it be faster for you to just kill them now, and I head back to help Ren and others?” He stared at these creatures whose heads touched the skies; three stories tall minimum. One balrog had had a mace in hand, while the other had a hammer. The demon this time, was an ugly amalgamation of an anglerfish and some sort of reptile; a salamander perhaps. If there was one thing these three creatures had in common, is that they were in constant immolation.

“Time’s ticking, every second counts” Cecilia stepped forward, the demon and balrogs stood aside, allowing her to proceed unobstructed.

“What the…?”

“I know what she’s thinking,’” Cecilia accepted the invitation.

“I’ve never faced a balrog and demon before! Any advice!?”

“Punch them!” She clapped her hands together, drawing out the full potential of her Ki powers, a burst of wind pulsed from where she stood and pushed away any light objects around her.

“I meant advice for me!” Blazed shouted before she could get away.

“Punch them really hard!” Just like that, Cecilia was gone, splitting the ashes on the ground apart from her speed alone.

The balrogs and demons converged on Blaze, drooling fire from their mouths at the small snack before them.

“I guess now is as good a time as any.” Fire ignited in a circle around Blaze and combusted all over his body. Fiery wings sprouted from his back and he floated into the air and above the monsters. A scythe of fire burst in Blaze’s hands and with a haughty snort, his flames changed from orange to blue. “Don’t disappoint me now.”


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53 Reviews


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Sun Aug 02, 2020 1:29 pm
brotherGeo wrote a review...



Hello Comrade!
Another chapter that is really short. its sharp and good but just a little too short. You have really good buildups, these demons and balrogs Blaze is about to fight seem pretty tough.

It’d only been five minutes since the start of the operation, yet it felt like hours. The worst part was the loud bangs of gunfire in the distance rather than silent plasma going pew pew. There was only one reason why the soldiers had to revert to good old lead bullets. Time was ticking, and there wasn’t much sand left.

I don't see why switching to lead bullets would have anything much to do with time but whatever. It may even the odds a bit... for the hellspawn.

groaning and taking heavy breaths while he clutched his head and crotch. Such strange and sudden behavior meant only one thing. At the speed Cecilia ran, she skidded across the ground a bit before she could stop and go help Blaze.

Good description of the sin of Lusts abilities, i really am looking forward to the big fight with her now.

Blaze picked himself up, still calming down from the massive sex drive that overcame him instantly, “Wouldn’t it be faster for you to just kill them now, and I head back to help Ren and others?” He stared at these creatures whose heads touched the skies; three stories tall minimum. One balrog had had a mace in hand, while the other had a hammer. The demon this time, was an ugly amalgamation of an anglerfish and some sort of reptile; a salamander perhaps. If there was one thing these three creatures had in common, is that they were in constant immolation.

Blaze has the right idea, Cecilia could finish these guys in a second and be no worse for wear. Also an amazing description of the Demon i had a clear picture of it in my head, it felt like it had crawled straight out of hell...

"Punch them!” She clapped her hands together, drawing out the full potential of her Ki powers, a burst of wind pulsed from where she stood and pushed away any light objects around her.

ol' reliable™. also how powerful is Cecilia? Feels a little overpowered to me.

“I guess now is as good a time as any.” Fire ignited in a circle around Blaze and combusted all over his body. Fiery wings sprouted from his back and he floated into the air and above the monsters. A scythe of fire burst in Blaze’s hands and with a haughty snort, his flames changed from orange to blue. “Don’t disappoint me now.”

I haven't mentioned this at all but this whole time iv'e been getting anime vibes from this story, and i am loving it.

Overall A good buildup chapter, again you probably want to condense this into other chapters but its still loaded with description. Its well written and it flows really well too, And your dialogue is natural. I am looking forward to reading the next part.
Keep Writing!
-brotherGeo




Moalex says...


Hi! Thanks again for the review! :D
Here's clarifications for better understanding of the story that aren't spoilers.
Power Scaling: Cecilia could in fact take them out immediately by herself if she felt like it. But that's only if she engaged with them one at a time. The way she fights is not complicated, but it's also not easy to guess either. It will be subtly fleshed out in future chapters, but I can assure you that she is no Mary Sue. She does in fact have weaknesses, and is mentioned and shown struggling in a prequel that I am not done writing. Sadly, you won't be able to find it on YWS because I'm still working on a ton of revisions. :(

Anime Vibes: You are indeed correct, as you can tell from my profile page and avatar. I watch a lot of anime, and I always have critiques to info dumps, story pacing, and character decisions in many anime series. So with all of my criticism, I decided to take scenes/moments of common story elements and write it in a way I think is better. I honestly hope that one day, my own story can get published or even have its own anime.



brotherGeo says...


I honestly thought of my story becoming an anime too.
Anime is the best man. :D



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Sun Aug 02, 2020 6:16 am
HarryHardy wrote a review...



Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

And more of this....

First Impression: WOW. That's about all that's going through my head right now after reading that ending. It's just absolutely amazing. Setting that aside for now, flying on wings made of fire...not the most practical with physics but then who cares about physics right now. And I sense and awesome battle with Lust coming soon.

Anyway let's get right to it,

t’d only been five minutes since the start of the operation, yet it felt like hours. The worst part was the loud bangs of gunfire in the distance rather than silent plasma going pew pew. There was only one reason why the soldiers had to revert to good old lead bullets. Time was ticking, and there wasn’t much sand left.


Ahh...so these guns can shoot both lead and plasma...very interesting...that must be one killer inner mechanism.

Blaze propelled himself through the air with fire from his feet like a rocket in order to keep up with Cecilia. At one point, he suddenly stopped and tumbled through the ground; groaning and taking heavy breaths while he clutched his head and crotch. Such strange and sudden behavior meant only one thing. At the speed Cecilia ran, she skidded across the ground a bit before she could stop and go help Blaze.


Great depiction of Lust's powers and a really cool way for Blaze to move although once again Physics has been tossed aside. (That's not an issue just wanted to mention that)

Blaze picked himself up, still calming down from the massive sex drive that overcame him instantly, “Wouldn’t it be faster for you to just kill them now, and I head back to help Ren and others?” He stared at these creatures whose heads touched the skies; three stories tall minimum. One balrog had had a mace in hand, while the other had a hammer. The demon this time, was an ugly amalgamation of an anglerfish and some sort of reptile; a salamander perhaps. If there was one thing these three creatures had in common, is that they were in constant immolation.


Nice descriptions there for the three of them. They look like they would be a lot of fun to fight.

The balrogs and demons converged on Blaze, drooling fire from their mouths at the small snack before them.

“I guess now is as good a time as any.” Fire ignited in a circle around Blaze and combusted all over his body. He began to float into the air as fiery wings sprouted from his back and a flaming scythe lit in his hands. Looking down at the balrog and demon’s orange and red flames, Blaze said, “Don’t disappoint me now.” His flames then burned blue.


Fighting fire with fire I guess this time literally as well as figuratively. Also can I just say that this is one of the coolest visuals that I have ever seen in a book.

Aaand that's about all I have to say. Pretty much had nothing to point out in this one.

Overall: We're getting the perspective of these two and that's a really good move so that we know how these two are faring in their part of the battlefield. The pacing was on point even in this short section and overall this is just really well done. Builds some good tension for what promises to be two epic fights in the next section.

As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.

Stay Safe
Harry




Moalex says...


Wow, that was fast! I guess I better step up my game and get these chapters out! I say that but I need to review for points, so I guess it left off at a rather good cliffhanger :D . Although if there's any point in the story where you think description might be lackluster or could be more fleshed out, I'd be happy to receive some. I feel like this section was a bit too short, and could be less of a white room.



HarryHardy says...


Aha yaa...at the beginning of a month I'm on a bit of a review rampage....so they come out fast.
Hmm...points you say....*foreshadowing*
Hmm...honestly this amout of description is fine....in a fast paced action scene like this extra description just ruins the flow...unless something is terribly important you don't need to describe in detail while it's the middle of a fight.
But yes....that was a huge cliffhanger...:D



Moalex says...


XD Wow, I have no idea how else to thank you aside from publishing more of the story. Kattee did the same thing as well, and I'm simply flabbergasted! Expect an amazing fight scene between Lust and Cecilia.



HarryHardy says...


:D
*Awaiting impatiently*




I like to create sympathy for my characters, then set the monsters loose.
— Stephen King