Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language, violence, and mature content.
(Updated)
The holofloor changed back to the hellspawn gathering. Succubi and gargoyles flew through the sky; hellhounds, zombies, ogres, and other fantastical creatures patrolled a perimeter from the edge of the wasteland to a hundred meters out, and a balrog stood guard beside Lust; a towering bi-pedal demon with ram horns, wings, and a body in constant immolation.
The terrain had mounds of debris and ruins that made the entire place seem like a labyrinth. There was only one thing that stood out and that was a giant web tent weaved by the arachnid demons. As far as Ren could tell, it looks like they used an old signal tower meant for connecting people to the internet as their center pole.
“Amaterasu, connect me to Scout leader, Team Alpha, Beta, and Charlie.”
A few seconds later and a split-screen of four different people appeared.
*Scout leader here.”
“Alpha, present.”
“Beta, present.”
“Chahlie, prezent.”
“Scout leader, I need final updates on the enemy’s numbers, changes to the terrain, and your recommendation.”
“Another balrog protecting Lust, that makes a two in total.” As soon as Scout leader said that, another hologram of a balrog appeared beside Lust. “Chimeras and wyverns have joined the air and land; numbers uncertain, and Earthworms, numbers also uncertain. We... heard Dimitri get dragged under shortly after the previous report. No changes to the terrain. Recommend mission abort.”
“I see…” The holofloor continued to update more and more monsters in the room. Seven mages, and only three squads of six soldiers each. At best, the soldiers had enough ammunition for a minimum of five kills each with death and missed shots accounted in the math.
Ground and air superiority, overwhelming numbers, unique abilities and traits of different monsters- they were basically poking a nest filled with every stinging insect that existed. No one would blame the soldiers if they refused service. This was suicide no matter how you looked at it. Only a fool would try to tackle this on.
“...Ren?”
“We’re going in,” Ren concluded. “Scout master, grab your team and return home. I have all the info I need.”
“Confirmed, returning home.”
“Soldiers, I’m sure you can see what we’re dealing with here. If you want to pull out, no one will--”
The comms filled with laughter as if Ren had just said something stupid, then everyone started talking at once. “Are you kidding me? This mission is going to get us first dibs on hot water and food!”
“I haven’t showered in almost two weeks!”
“My kid needs good food to grow, you know?”
“If ve die out there, ze kids can tell stories of how ve vere part of ze first initiative!”
“Speaking of the kids, if those of us with none die, pass our efforts and privileges to them. They got their whole lives ahead.”
“Ve’re getting old anyways, ve can’t be letting u magic kids show us up with your spells and wavy hands.”
“How is this any different than being outside of the camp?”
“LET’S SHOOT SOME FUCKERRRRRRRS!”
Their morale was out of this world, but thank goodness; there was still hope.
“That reminds me,” said the alpha leader. “Why don’t we clear out that signal tower? It’s the best vantage point on the field!”
“Negative, we don’t have the firepower or manpower to take and defend it. You’re practically offering yourselves to be food by sitting on the tallest stationary thing on the battlefield,” Ren responded.
Flags appeared on various parts of the map, all of which appearing on top of mounds of debris and seemingly getting further and further away from the wasteland.
“The plan is simple. Cecilia and Blaze will create a diversion using the signal tower to pull the hellspawns and cause confusion among their ranks. For the rest of us, our starting point is here.” Ren pointed at the closest flag (About three hundred feet) to the signal tower. “All you have to do is shoot whatever hellspawn you see; prioritize air creatures first, don’t let them get the drop on you.
Soldiers, you are to work with Lucas and Douglas. Make sure you’re all wearing your comfiest running shoes, and unscented deodorant. WIth so many disadvantages on our side, timing and proper coordination is everything.
Lucas’s oculus magic is the vantage point that you wanted Alpha leader, and Douglas’s earth magic is your eyes and weapon underground. The moment those hellspawns get too close, all of you are to fall back to the next safest checkpoint. A simple hit-and-run tactic that pulls and divides their army; make them exercise for their food, thin and spread their numbers, reload while you’re sprinting. Joshua and I will do everything we can to stop them from chasing you.
Lucas, take charge of identifying your enemies and orchestrate the soldier's attacks to neutralize the enemies as swiftly as possible. Use explosive rounds as you see fit. The moment you don’t see any enemies within range, double check ammunition. If each soldier only has one clip, fall back to camp. If not, move closer and provide cover fire.
Douglas, the moment Blaze gets rid of all the Earthworms, you’re free to enter the fray or stay and protect the soldiers.
Blaze, Cecilia, go wild.” Ren finally concluded.
Everyone in the room saluted and yelled out a Hoorah! Just as they stood and left for the elevator, Charlie's squad leader had some final questions of the plan, “Wait, Wait, Wait, vat exactly is Cecilia and Blaze doing at ze signal tower? How do ve know if their diversion vorked? Unt how exactly is Blaze going to kill all ze Earthworms?”
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hello Comrade!
Looks like the battle is really about to begin now. honestly it would've been better if you combined 3.1 and 3.2 into one but whatever.
This is funny and fun to say out loud but, it looks like shit on paper. And as a part German with relatives over there, I can say this is just the stereotypical way German-English accent's are portrayed. really there isn't much of a difference, some of it is true like pronouncing we like ve, but the majority of it is just over-exaggeration. You could just add a few bits here and there like ve and ze to make it sound German but have the rest normal, or write how this guy's voice was a thick German accent or something. (I hate to diss often fun racial stereotypes but... anything for the kaiser)
Wearing comfy and good running equipment is often overlooked in writing, its good you picked up on it. unscented deodorant, would't none be better or can the hellspawn smell sweat.
Good use of guerrilla tactics, and a good briefing for non magic fighters. I wonder how they will do in the big battle.
this would've been a good place to end but you did raise some good questions at the end there. if they are going to be answered it would probably be best to answer them now and not later, as this chapter is a little short.
overall another fun to read piece, your building up the hype for this big battle really well. other than that the flow was good and that's about all i picked up.
Keep Writing!
-brotherGeo
Thanks for the tip on the stereotypical accent! I'll be sure to make changes to that when I find the time.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Aand I am back for another chapter. I'm so excited to have another one to read so soon.
First Impression: Oh my god this gave me Avengers vibes in that last part. It sounds like a really exciting plan. Now I can't wait to read this plan actually being executed.
Anyway let's get right to it,
You have to add that word in there.
That is just such an awesome concept. The images being created out of all this is just amazing.
Okay slight contradiction there. If the scout leader actually states that aborting is the best option how are the other soldiers so motivated? It seems just a little inconsistent there.
This part gives a lovely weight to the whole scenario so that we understand very well the sort of stakes they're playing for.
Seems like them being some of the few magic users there those soldiers should know what their respective magic is. It just sounds a little too much like you're just telling it for our benefit.
This is definitely giving me flashbacks to "And Hulk..SMASH!!!"
Well that's a neat set of question right there to end this on. Nice little cliffhanger.
Aand that's it.
Overall: This sounds like a really exciting plan. I only spotted a couple of things off but then maybe even those are because I've missed something. This story appears to be headed in a really good direction. Looking forward for more!!
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey! Thanks again, and I thought I'd let you know that there has been changes made to this section of chapter 3. Nothing major that changes the story or new information. Just some rewording and structuring that you pointed out.
Your Welcome!!
Ahh...I went over it again. They work pretty well. Now I'm going to go read your new chapter.