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Young Writers Society



Mixing Magic [Draft 2]: Chapter 6.2

by Mea


Over the next few days, Ayda sat down and wrote a letter back to her parents. She didn’t apologize for running to Crescent Moon — looking out across the trees and pathways, watching folk of all species working and living and learning, she couldn’t bring herself to regret her journey. This was infinitely better than spending the summer in the shop.

But it was more than that. Between the craftsmen and the teachers, the researchers and the diplomats, it seemed that everyone here was involved in something greater than themselves, something that, now she was here, Ayda had become a part of.

And so she was honest. She told her parents what she could of Crescent Moon and what she was researching, of how she was waiting for another contest to enter and how, quite simply, she didn’t want to come home. It took four drafts before she was satisfied.

In the evenings, she now joined Madeline in her room and they practiced magic together. Ayda decided that contrasting actively worked magic with intuitive magic was a bit of a misnomer — on some level, creating the patterns was still intuitive. She didn’t have to find a diagram or anything to actively create the pattern that twisted sunbeams together — her hands still knew what to do, but it required a lot more concentration, and if she made the slightest mistake, the whole pattern disintegrated. Still, the tricky thing was not the basic pattern, but figuring out how to make the subtle modifications that were impossible intuitively.

When she pointed this out to Madeline, the girl nodded. “Xaniphe says that magic wants to work with you, but some species are better attuned to different things. So as long as you’re not trying to do something completely foreign, even with active magic you’ll learn the patterns faster than you’d expect.”

-

The next morning, Ayda slept through the farewell to the moon, and when she awoke the tree felt oddly hushed. The air was hot and muggy, the first sign of the fast-approaching summer.

When Ayda reached the research room, she found Cinder and most of the high-level researchers missing, but Madeline was there. “Why aren’t you with Xaniphe?”

“The Council’s in some kind of emergency meeting, I guess,” Madeline said. “Xaniphe sent one of those magical notes saying I should stay here until lunch.”

“Why, what happened? Why do they have to meet?” Ayda’s stomach gave a jolt. It couldn’t have been a planned meeting. Cinder would have mentioned something to her.

“I don’t know. The note didn’t say.”

It had to have something to do with Nadra, Ayda reasoned, and it had to be an emergency. Were there more attacks? Madeline’s eyes were wide — she had to be thinking the same thing.

One of the centaurs spoke up. “That’s all we know, too. But Ayda, Cinder told me to tell you to take a break while Madeline’s here. He says you’ve been working too hard.”

Cinder wanted her to take a break now? But all the other researchers were nodding firmly, apparently sharing Cinder’s opinion. Ayda knew they wouldn’t let her near the books. Plus, she couldn’t just leave Madeline with nothing to do, and if she tried to explain the cataloguing system to the girl it would probably take until lunchtime anyway.

“A walk sounds nice, Ayda,” Madeline said in a low voice.

Ayda flew close to Madeline. She was taking a break from working, but it was hot and muggy and everything was too tense for her to casually go flying through the garden with her friend. “A few days ago, you wanted me to show you the cleansing pattern. I think I can do it now.”

Madeline drew a sharp breath. “Can I see it?”

They went into the next room over so as not to disturb the researchers. It was small and dusty, and the only furniture was a table in the center, which Madeline sat on, her legs swinging.

Ayda landed next to her, peering up at the girl. She shifted to her magical vision and waited for Madeline’s nod before starting.

This would be tricky. Ayda had never tried to do this particular pattern without a plant as the focus. She pulled a strand of magic out of herself and, picturing the life force of a clean, healthy plant, let her fingers fly, catching the magic and twining it in a three-dimensional pattern that slowly became more distinct. It took only a few moments for the base pattern to be complete.

Madeline examined it closely. “Can I copy the pattern? I want to see what happens if I put it in a talisman.”

“You can try.” Ayda wasn’t sure it would do anything, since cleansing plants was well out of the range of human magic. But pushed the pattern up to Madeline anyway.

Madeline caught it neatly, cupping it in her hands. Ayda frowned It’s like she’s actually holding it. But you can’t do that with another person’s magic.

Madeline fished out a new stone from her bagand pulled out a glob of her own magic. But instead of twisting her magic to match Ayda’s, she, smoothly and almost involuntarily, wrapped her magic around the green strands. What was she doing? For just a moment, the green appeared to blend with the pink. Then Madeline pushed both her magic and Ayda’s inside the talisman.

Immediately, Madeline yelped and dropped the stone. “It made my hands tingle! Does that mean it worked?”

Ayda’s stared at the talisman, her wings stiffening. Madeline had used Ayda’s magic to make a talisman. She had been able to manipulate it. But magic didn’t mix. If it did — well, people would be able to steal magic from each other. Or something.“How in the forests did you do that?”

Madeline stared at the stone, then at her hands. “I don’t know. It just felt… right.”

Ayda tapped the stone uncertainly. A tendril of pink magic and a tingling feeling began to creep up her arm as soon as she touched it, and she yanked her hand away. “Well, it did something. I think if you touch it, it starts to cleanse you.”

Peering inside, it seemed like Madeline’s pink magic had been twisted to the same shape as Ayda’s pattern, and it was the one that had been siphoned off, leaving Ayda’s magic untouched.

“Putting enough magic in a talisman makes it last for years,” said Madeline, “but — “

“It’s like it’s using my magic as a guide.” Ayda looked up at her friend.“And you put it in there.”

Madeline’s eyes widened when she saw Ayda’s expression. “Is that rude to do? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to.”

“No,” Ayda tugged impatiently at a lock of her dark hair. “It’s not rude, it’s impossible. Nothing happens when you try to touch someone else’s magic.

“Maybe that’s not true for active magic. You try.” Madeline thrust a handful of her magic at Ayda. Ayda reached for it, but other than the back of her neck prickling, sensing the power, her hand passed through as if the magic wasn’t there. She shook her head. This wasn’t right. She had seen Madeline handle her magic. The talisman was right there to prove it.

“Then what did I do?” Madeline whispered.

The door swung open with a loud creak. Madeline jumped, and Ayda instinctively took flight and spun. Cinder was padding through the doorway.

“There you are,” he said.

“Isn’t the meeting supposed to be until lunch?” Ayda asked, worms writhing in her stomach.

“Yes, but I don’t need to be there anymore.” Now that Cinder was fully in the room, Ayda saw that his tail was twitching back and forth and his fur was bristling.

“What’s wrong?” Madeline asked. “What was the meeting about?”

Cinder’s ears lay flat against his horns, and he looked directly at Ayda.

“The first thing you should know,” he said, “is that Nikka was attacked last night.”


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Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:31 am
Wolfi says...



But instead of twisting her magic to match Ayda’s, she, smoothly and almost involuntarily, wrapped her magic around the green strands. What was she doing?

MIXING MAGIC




Mea says...


Ding ding ding! :D



Wolfi says...


What do I win????



Mea says...


Image



Wolfi says...


:D :D :D



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Sun Aug 06, 2017 9:05 pm
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deleted221222 wrote a review...



Ay! Magic was mixed! I can finally stop with the reoccurring gag.

For the actual critique:

Ayda is definitely weakening. Her whole motivation was to become a sculptor, and now it seems that motivation is wavering a bit. Ayda never seemed like a "part of something greater" kind of person. All of her actions up to Crescent Moon have always been in self-interest. It's starting to create a disconnect, one that could ruin the character. Probably something to take note of.

The plot does seem to be advancing a bit at the end of the chapter. Hopefully, Ayda's family hadn't left for Nikka at the time of the attack. Nothing substantial to mention.

Probably the only time I'll mention a grammar thing, but you should probably change the second "Hot and muggy" to something else.

Your magic system is really good. At least now I understand what active magic as compared to intuitive magic. Madie's use of talismans is one thing, but her being able to copy and manipulate someone else's magic is a different thing entirely. I can't wait to see how you're able to expand on that idea.

A short review of a short chapter. I might start only giving reviews on every second chapter unless there's a lot I can talk about. This chapter was pretty nice since it introduced the idea of actually mixing magic. Still, want to see more plot happening though.




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Sun Jul 30, 2017 1:01 am
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PrincessInk wrote a review...



So now I see the correlation to the title! All the while, I was wondering what was the relation to Mixing Magic. I'm guessing that Madeline's ability is going to play a big role.

It's nice to see that a major but not the PoV character is getting the special magic (at least in that setting) because in fantasy novels, I often see the character with the PoV have magic that will elicit a "this is very special". c: Not that I mind the MC having special magic either! This is going to be interesting and I wonder if Nadra will be interested to know that Madeline has that magic.

So I think that emotion-wise, I mentioned a few times about not being able to tap in so deeply. This time, though, I didn't have too much trouble with that. I thought that Ayda's flurried inner monologue about the "mixing magic" showed her confusion well. I also liked the way the "worms writhing in her stomach" made her anxiety more visceral.

One thing that struck me as odd was when Ayda heard the emergency meeting, she might feel a little anxious. Or perhaps she's gotten so used to the idea of constantly hearing about these meetings that she's jaded to it. Because I'm not sure how many emergency meetings did elapse.

Anyway, this is a good thing that I have more to read--I mean Nikka being attacked, possibly razed, is horrible. What will happen to Ayda's parents and sister? The city's also so beautiful. And I'm imagining that Ayda will feel both worried and upset and stunned and angry with Nadra as well.

I'll see you there soon! :D




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Sun Jul 30, 2017 12:02 am
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DragonWriter22 wrote a review...



Hey! Sorry I keep taking so long to review these parts. I'm getting there!

I like how the stuff with the magic is going. It feels a lot more developed and there's sort of a scientific understanding of it which is interesting. It feels appropriate for Crescent Moon and really shows that these people are great scholars. Regular people can use magic, but these people have studied it and they know how to maximize its abilities.

Oh also,

But magic didn’t mix. If it did — well, people would be able to steal magic from each other.


;) Mixing Magic

So the next few bits of the review are kind of nitpicks. XD reviewing your work is hard since I've already told you a lot of my overarching feelings in person.

I noticed you used the words hot and muggy a lot. Some more varied word choice for that phrase could be good.

Also when Ayda was told about the emergency meeting and thought "It must be an emergency".... An emergency meeting is about an emergency. XD This isn't necessarily bad or needs to be changed, I just thought it was funny. It could be fixed with Cinder not calling it an emergency meeting to begin with, but it's not that important.

One thing that interested me was how Ayda seems so sure that cleansing plants is out of reach of human magic. For how little they know about human magic, she's awfully sure. Also would it be out of reach (without copying a fairy's magic, as that's obviously possible)? I feel like the main barrier is humans' inability to understand plants closely enough, but the magic itself could be woven to cleanse plants. Mainly I experienced confusion over the limits of human magic. It has been introduced as limitless up to this point as long as one was familiar enough with the subject at hand.

I also really liked where you ended this part. Great suspense!




Mea says...


The distinction about how wide-ranging human magic is is a bit difficult to articulate - essentially, they're fairly limited in what they can do intuitively, but once they start actively weaving magic, a whole lot of other possibilities crop up (but it's also harder to actively weave magic). Hope that makes more sense.





Ah, that makes sense.



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Fri Jul 28, 2017 4:25 pm
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BluesClues wrote a review...



Oh, oops. Somehow I missed reading this one. (I went to 7.1 and was like, "Wait, what did Cinder just say?" and then I realized.)

“No,” Ayda tugged impatiently at a lock of her dark hair. “It’s not rude, it’s impossible. Nothing happens when you try to touch someone else’s magic.”

“Maybe that’s not true for active magic. You try.” Madeline thrust a handful of her magic at Ayda. Ayda reached for it, but other than the back of her neck prickling, sensing the power, her hand passed through as if the magic wasn’t there. She shook her head. This wasn’t right. She had seen Madeline handle her magic. The talisman was right there to prove it.

“Then what did I do?” Madeline whispered.


I'm intrigued by Madeline's ability to handle another person's magic and the potential consequences that could have. Especially since she's a human, and it seems like (although I only started reading somewhere in chapter 5) humans should basically not be able to do magic at all, or at least a very limited amount. But now she can do something no one should be able to do. It almost annoys me that Cinder came in and interrupted them, except that another attack is exciting.

Also, it's obvious that you've really thought out how magic works in your world. (Which is something I'll likely never do, and no matter that I love to write fantasy. I'm always just "*shrug* I dunno, it's magic.") It's so intricate, with the talismans, the patterns, and intuitive vs. active magic. I also like the fact that in this case, magic wants people to use it, instead of being this dark or demanding thing; it's just that certain species are more attuned to certain uses/types of magic.

The pacing starting at "the next morning" was spot on. Prior to that seems like a necessary time skip (based on what I've read so far), so it's probably fine even though it wasn't as interesting. But I did like the description of Ayda struggling to write a letter to her parents that was truthful but would let them know not to worry. I could see this tying into your intended character arc of needing to learn to give more in relationships.

Image




Mea says...


xD Yeah, I wondered if you'd skipped it on purpose.

On humans and magic: You don't know this since it was explained earlier, but humans have the same capability as any other species when it comes to magic. *But* the human world (our world) has been cut off from the source of magic for like a thousand years (many thousand years by our time, there was some time slippage and stuff), so there's no magic in our world and everybody has forgotten what humans can do. There being no magic in our world is also what makes it hard/impossible for Madeline to get back. Hope that makes more sense!



BluesClues says...


Oh, cool. So possibly humans used to be able to do precisely this, but no one would ever know.

On the note of chapter 5, do you still have a bit of that in the Green Room? I remember reading both sections that were there when you mentioned it in the characters workshop, but I didn't review one of them b/c I didn't have much to say on it. But I can probably find something to say if it's still sitting around.



Mea says...


Chapter 5 is out of the Green Room by now, so no worries. ;)




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