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Mixing Magic [Draft 2]: Chapter 3.1

by Mea


A/N: For those who are new, Ayda is a fairy and she just made a decision to run away to take Madeline (a human from our world she found in the woods) to this place called Crescent Moon. She hopes scholars there will be able to get Madeline home.

-

Antsy and excited as soon as she woke up the next morning, Ayda left to talk to Madeline as soon as Nova and her parents left, heading to the other side of Nikka to see about buying a wagon. They would be gone for hours, and Ayda didn’t have to go to Bivale’s shop today. With luck, they would be able to leave by dawn tomorrow.

The morning was cool and smelled of dew as Ayda flew between the trees. In a few short minutes, she was landing on the rock where she’d left the food last night. Madeline sat just a few paces away and brightened as soon as she saw Ayda.

“You came back,” she said.

“Of course,” said Ayda. “And I have a plan now too. Like I said last night, my city is small and we don’t know much about portals. But there’s a place called Crescent Moon, two days’ travel from here. It’s a sort of center of study and research and learning, and it’s famous in all three Kingdoms. They have all sorts of experts there — if there’s someone who can help you, we’ll find them at Crescent Moon.”

“And you’re going to take me there?” Madeline asked.

Ayda nodded. “I’ve been there lots before — well, not in Crescent Moon, but to the city across the river. I know the road well.”

Madeline glanced down, thinking. “Ayda, that sounds… great, but you’re taking me alone?”

“Yeah, so what? Believe me, I’ve traveled that road every year since I can remember.”

“Does anyone else even know I’m here?” Madeline insisted.

“No,” Ayda said, and seeing Madeline’s alarm rushed to justify her decision. “I thought that would be better. People would think I’m crazy, at least until I got them to come out and see you. And then you’d be swarmed by people wanting to see a human. Besides, I’d be willing to bet that the constables would decide to send you to Crescent Moon anyway — but only after a bunch of paperwork and sending letters back and forth. It would take forever. This is the same thing, just cutting down on the hassle.”

“But won’t you be missed? How old are you, Ayda? You can’t be much older than me.”

Surprised and a little irked that Madeline had been able to guess that, Ayda replied shortly, “Fourteen. Yes, I’ll be missed, but it’s only for a few days and I’ll tell my parents where I’m going so they won’t worry. Look, Madeline, it’s either this or get bogged down for a month in letters and regulations.”

“But you’ll get in trouble,” Madeline said, fingering her necklace again. “You’re willing to do that for me?”

Ayda didn’t answer immediately. Yes, she wanted to get out of Nikka. Yes, she wanted to enter the contest at Crescent Moon. But as she looked at Madeline, saw the girl’s dirt-streaked face and tousled hair, saw her fear but also her strength even as she was alone and adrift in a world not her own, Ayda realized that she was very much looking forward to traveling with this girl she’d met by a bizarre twist of fate and getting to know her better.

And that meant Madeline deserved the truth from her before they set out. “Yes. But I have my own reasons for going. It’s a bit of a long story,” Ayda said, settling down, cross-legged, on the rock. “I’m a woodworker, you see…”

She explained about Master Bivale and his focus on utility over beauty, on how she needed to get an apprenticeship but there was no one to teach her sculpting and she was behind in carpentry thanks to traveling through the Three Kingdoms for six months out of the year.

At this point, Madeline interrupted. “I’m sorry, but what are the Three Kingdoms? You keep mentioning them.”

“Oh — there are three different worlds connected to each other by the main portals at the center point of each world,” Ayda explained. “Each world is home to different races. Arvania, which is this world, has fairies like me, centaurs, dryads, leprechauns, satyrs, and a few others. Erinore is where most of the flying creatures live: dragons, pegasi, griffins, and phoenixes. Oh, and the dwarves, for the last millennium or so. Last is Neleluna, which is where the Shades live.”

“We have legends about most of those creatures,” Madeline said.

“That’s why I’m guessing your world was cut off somehow,” Ayda said. A thought crossed her mind — if it turned out humans had never been mythical, were elves?

“But you really travel to all those places?” Madeline asked. “You’ve met all those creatures?”

“Most of them,” Ayda said with a grin. “It’s a pretty great life.”

She went on to explain that she was going to enter a carving in a contest at Crescent Moon, but she left out her family’s money troubles and the fact she wouldn’t be traveling that year. She wasn’t looking for a pity party.

“So are you in?” she finished. “I’m hoping to leave at dawn tomorrow. If we’re lucky and they know how to help, you’ll be home within a week. And if not, well, at least they have enough food to feed someone your size.”

Madeline smiled at that. “I’m in.”

The most difficult thing was the provisions. Not for Ayda, who could survive easily on the berries and nuts abundant in the forest this time of year, but for Madeline. Ayda wasn’t sure exactly how much humans ate every day, but judging from the way Madeline had devoured the berries she’d found for her the night before, well, it was sure to be more than Ayda could steal from her parent’s larder.

But Ayda did her best anyway, sneaking her large travel pack up to her room the next morning after half-filling it with food. She felt a slight twinge of guilt at stealing so much food, but what else was there to do? Madeline had to eat. And, whatever money troubles her parents might be having now, the larder was in case of famine, and was so well-stocked Ayda gave it even odds they would never notice what was gone.

It didn’t take her long to pack — the routine of putting everything she needed for survival into a pack was second nature to her by this point. But she took special care with one task: choosing the sculpture she would enter in the contest. Ayda displayed her sculptures on several shelves over her bed, all full, but there were only a few she considered well-wrought enough to submit.

She ran her hand lightly over each of them in turn. First a solid sculpture of a Shade with wings, sprouting from his ridged back. They were thrown out, majestic, as if he were about to take off, and his eyes were wild and free. Then, a delicate, intricate carving of an oak leaf, smaller than life, but with every vein painstakingly etched. Finally, a sleeping baby dragon, curled tightly with her wings folded at her sides and her tail-tip almost touching her snout.

She loved all three for different reasons. But her eyes kept straying back to the Shade. Something about his figure, standing there so powerfully, made her heart leap every time she looked at him. The other two were more detailed, more artistic, but they had less emotion. With gentle fingers, Ayda wrapped the carving of the Shade in a leaf and tucked it in her pack. With nothing more to bring, she closed the pack and stowed it under her bed.

It was mid-afternoon, and Ayda was left with the long hours until night brought sleep. Later, she would write a note to her parents, telling them where she was going and when she would be back. But for now, she occupied herself with carving, sitting crosslegged on the floor with a shallow basket between her legs to catch the wood shavings.

Hours later, a knock on the door startled Ayda so much she nearly upended the basket. “Come in!” she called, hastily stowing the finished carving in her tools bag and flying to the door.

It was her mother. The short woman smiled when Ayda opened the door, peering past her to see the basket of wood shavings sitting on the floor. “Were you carving something?”

Ayda nodded.

“Can I see it? Even if it’s not done?”

Ayda shook her head. “It’s a surprise.” Why was her mother here? Ayda was exquisitely conscious of the packed bag stowed under her bed. If her mother had noticed something odd…

To Ayda’s dismay, her mother stared at the wood shavings for a long moment, then crossed the room and sat on Ayda’s bed, patting the space beside her. Reluctantly, Ayda joined her.

“About last night…” Mom said. “I’m sorry we sprung it on you like that. We know you prefer sculpting, but we thought carpentry was better than nothing. Your father and I were hoping you would enjoy a chance to feel a little more rooted here in Nikka.”

“Does this mean I can go after all?” Ayda asked, hopeful even though she had no idea how her parents would have gotten the money.

“No,” her mother said simply, but kindly. “There’s another reason we agreed to the offer. Your father doesn’t want you to know this, but I think you’re old enough, and it’s not right for us to force this on you without an explanation.”

Ayda smiled in spite of herself. “Mom, if it’s about the money problems, Nova already told me last night.”

Her mother laughed. “Of course she did.”

“I think she just did it to justify her backing you up instead of me,” Ayda added, which made her mother laugh even more.

“Or because she’s tired of tiptoeing around you. That girl is far too practical for her own good.”

“Yeah, about that,” Ayda said. “Just how long has this been going on and nobody’s told me?”

“Only a month or two,” her mother reassured her. “We hoped it would blow over, and we didn’t want you to worry.”

It hasn’t blown over, though, Ayda thought. “Did you have any luck with getting a wagon today?”

Her mother’s wings drooped. “No,” she admitted. “There aren’t any for sale this time of year. We’re trying to rent one, but those mongrels pay too much attention to rumors. They insist the roads are getting more dangerous and use it as an excuse to hike their prices.”

“Rumors?” Ayda said.

“There’s supposedly a rogue band of Shades by the ruins up north, attacking caravans,” her mother said, massaging her forehead, “but what on earth would that many Shades be doing in Arvania?”

“That’s why it’s just rumors. You’ll find something,” Ayda told her mother, putting an arm around her shoulders.

Her mother smiled wearily. “Oh, we will, if we have to hunt through every building in the city. But look at me now, unloading everything onto you. I just came up to tell you it’s time for dinner, you know.”

“Thank you,” Ayda said. It was surreal, sitting here beside her mother and knowing she was going to run away at dawn. Just as she knew she was perfectly capable of getting to Crescent Moon by herself, she knew her parents would start worrying as soon as she left, and they didn’t need another concern on their minds. But that didn’t change her decision. Her parents would never let her travel that far on her own, and she was convinced that telling them about Madeline would just cause complications.

Her mother sprang up suddenly, careworn countenance gone, replaced by her normal cheerful disposition. “Enough moping. Let’s get down there before Nova flies up here and starts pounding on the door asking what’s taking so long.”

-

Ayda left the shutters open that night, so she was woken by birdsong and the gathering light just before dawn. She dressed quickly in sturdy travel clothes, heart already pounding wildly. Setting her travel pack by the window, she fished a quill and paper out from a drawer, uncorked the ink, and began to write.

By the time you read this, I’ll have left for Crescent Moon. I know I probably won’t win the contest, but I have to try, and since you don’t have time to take me, I decided to go myself. Please don’t worry about me. I know the road well and I’ve packed everything I’ll need. I’ll be back in four days.

Love,

Ayda

P.S.: Mom, this is the carving I was working on last night. I meant to give it to you and Dad for your anniversary, but I don’t think I’ll get back before then. I hope you like it.

Ayda blew on the paper to dry the ink, then put away the quill and folded the note in half. When she went to pick up the inkwell, she accidentally bumped it, and it toppled over with a loud thunk.

Ayda froze, straining to hear any sound. Had she woken anybody? The walls were so thin. But she heard nothing, and with a sigh grabbed the ink and put it away. At least it hadn’t spilled.

She straightened her pillows and pulled her blankets over them, smoothing down the bed the way she rarely did except when leaving on a trip. With a quick glance around the room, Ayda convinced herself she was ready to go.

“This is it,” she murmured as she set the note on her pillow. She fumbled in her carving bag, which she had slung around her neck so it hung under her blouse, making an odd lump. From it, she took the carving, now sanded and polished, and ran her finger over the details.

Fully-formed, it was a statue of her parents holding each other close, wings stretched out behind them as if flying together. She had been rushed, and so the details were sparse and she still didn’t think she had gotten her mother’s figure quite right. But there was no time to correct it now — she set it gently beside the note and spun around, filled with a sudden delight. She was going!

She flew to the window and strapped her travel pack in front of her. It was heavy, but she knew she could carry it for hours if she needed to. Pushing the shutters fully open, she leapt onto the windowsill.

And behind her, she heard the door open.

“Ayda? What in the forests do you think you’re doing?” It was Nova.

Ayda glanced over her shoulder at her sister, who wore a dressing gown and a confused look on her face as she took in Ayda’s clothes and the gear she carried.

“I’ll be back, I promise,” Ayda said, and without another word, she shot into the early dawn.

Ayda flew as fast as she could, up into the tree canopy, dodging leaves and twigs, hoping to lose Nova if she tried to follow. She looked back once, but saw nobody, and so burst from the canopy and flew into the forest, heading for Madeline’s alcove.

She was surprised to find Madeline already awake and waiting for her.

“It’s time,” Ayda said, spinning east, towards the sunrise and Crescent Moon. “Let’s go.”


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Sat Sep 09, 2017 10:51 pm
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Brigadier wrote a review...



This is a kinda weird thought but if these fairies are like a foot tall and there wagons wouldn't be much more than that, if Madeline is carrying Ayda, it wouldn't really be a two day trip right? Or is that part of the calculations already put in? I don't even know why I'm asking you this but this just sounds like one of those little worms in the plot that just keep working their way in. Maybe if I read this chapter, this questions and some others I haven't brought up yet, will be mentioned.

I swear to god I misread antsy as angsty the first time through. Which is true both ways. In one manner, the easy following of the plot and reminder of things that happened before, makes it so much easier for me to review. Like half of the novels I've reviewed, I forget the plot pieces over the course of the week but this one has stuck with me since I first started reading it in July. Didn't start reviewing until recently but I remember trying to make it through your story before and how it interested me. It has points where the plot starts to go down hill but then it picks back up, over and over again. This is of course a further down the road thing but if I continually see that pattern happening, you'll be hearing a more in depth critique of it.

Like the previous reviewer was saying about her being selfish, I kinda half agree with her and the whole running away thing, but then my adulting side switches in and swats at me with a switch. This novel brings out two parts in a reader like me. The young and adventurous side that probably wanted to run away at some point. And then the more mature side that realizes living like Robinson Crusoe probably isn't all that possible. (Though you got to admit that would be a cool thing to test out.)

Introducing the mother creates some of that sappiness where the reader goes "oh no don't leave them." It makes us question whether she's actually going to go through with it or just leave Madeline out in the forest. Like we're pretty sure which way it's gonna tilt but the mother is pretty darn persuasive. It's a shame I won't get to see many more character interactions with her.

Cliffhanger. Pseudo cliffhanger? Either way, very nice work on the ending. Also liked some further explanation into the lore of the kingdoms and what all that stuff going on is.




Mea says...


Tbh, I was going with "fairies can easily fly as fast as humans can walk" when calculating travel time, but I'm not sure how to incorporate tiny wagons into that. I should probably do some research or something for my next pass through.



Brigadier says...


i still don't know why i asked



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Tue Aug 22, 2017 1:54 pm
ChocoDanish wrote a review...



I don't feel any excitement or angst for some reason. I feel like Ayda is a brat in this chapter. I understand the whole kill two birds with 1 stone concept here but she seems to not feel guilty about leaving at all. Does she really care about her family? or she just need random people for support?. I feel like she cares about adventuring more than her family. I also understand the restriction of staying very well. Maybe explain her strong will or something. She has a heavy heart leaving but she needs to do....




Mea says...


I feel like she cares about adventuring more than her family.
That is exactly the point. She's being selfish. Though I do want her to be somewhat sympathetic, so I might have to tone it down a bit.



Mea says...


Oh, and thanks for the review!



ChocoDanish says...


ohhh than you capture that perfectly XD



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Sun Jul 30, 2017 4:46 am
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deleted221222 wrote a review...



Fourth review, and before I say do anything else, I just have to say this.

“There’s supposedly a rogue band of Shades by the ruins up north, attacking caravans,” her mother said, massaging her forehead, “but why on earth would that many Shades be doing in Arvania?”

Probably attacking caravans.

Anyways, now that I've joked my worth, onto my points.

I'm really only going to talk about Ayda. Usually, someone would regret leaving after having a heart to heart with mom, but seeing her just zip away does say a bit about her. I think I've finally gotten a proper grasp on Ayda's character, and while she very clearly has that hint of spunk, she definitely has her positives and negatives that make her a real character.

The plot is really just a continuation of last time, so there isn't much to say about it.

For world building, I am liking the idea of these three kingdoms. I want to see how these species interact with each other, given how they're so different in comparison. I do have a soft spot for dragons, so I really want to see what they're like. Maybe have one as a companion later down the line. Just my personal wishes, you don't have to follow through with it.

Overall, it's a short and sweet chapter. Finally getting Madie's proper age pleases me. I like Ayda's character, though it may be because I wrote one just like her. The world building is nice and open ended, giving many possibilities for how the story will go. I still want to know why the Magic is being Mixed.




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Thu Jul 27, 2017 5:19 am
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Wolfi wrote a review...



Hello again Mea!

Madeline glanced down, thinking. “Ayda, that sounds… great, but you’re taking me alone?”

I don't understand why that would be one of her main concerns. It just struck me as odd. Madeline doesn't know much about this world or the culture so how would she know that Ayda traveling with her alone would be strange? I would expect her rather to be grateful and hopeful, and ask the "so, we're going alone?" question in a tone that isn't so negative.

“Does anyone else even know I’m here?” Madeline insisted.

She's not insisting anything; she's just asking a question.

“No,” Ayda said, and seeing Madeline’s alarm rushed to justify her decision.

Similarly to two above, I don't know why Madeline would feel alarm at this. She doesn't know the culture. I would instead expect her to be surprised and curious, not frightened or disturbed.

But as she looked at Madeline, saw the girl’s dirt-streaked face and tousled hair, saw her fear but also her strength even as she was alone and adrift in a world not her own, Ayda realized that she was very much looking forward to traveling with this girl she’d met by a bizarre twist of fate and getting to know her better.

Love the feelings she has here! This sentence could use some cutting-down though so I gave some recommendations.

It didn’t take her long to pack — the routine of putting everything she needed for survival into a pack was second nature to her by this point.

Why?

Her mother’s wings drooped.

Instead of shoulders. That's so cute!

But look at me now, unloading everything onto you. I just came up to tell you it’s time for dinner, you know.”

Also cute. I love Ayda's mother!

And behind her, she heard the door open.

“Ayda? What in the forests do you think you’re doing?” It was Nova.

D: Also, "what in the forests" haha.

It's interesting that Ayda expressed no guilt at leaving, especially after she and her mom had that sweet conversation. If she had left with their last conversation being the scene at dinner, guilt would be easier to put to the side, but she's leaving on such good terms with her mother and I would expect her to be guilty to be breaking that. But she's just too darn excited to get to Crescent Moon and travel with Madeline, which tells me a lot about her character.

I really like the foreshadowing you put in with the rumors about the Shades. Up until then there was little indication that the journey to Crescent Moon would be dangerous so this adds some excitement! Also, the way you were able to describe the appearance of a Shade through Ayda's carving was smart.

Great work!




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Mon Jul 17, 2017 3:30 am
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EternalRain says...



Loving this so far (sorry I'm a bit behind, by the way).

Definitely curious about the Shade and I for sure want to know more about them and their plans and how they're going to be incorporated into the story. I like how they weren't explained deeply but they were mentioned and gets the reader curious. :)




Mea says...


It's totally okay that you're behind! Glad you're liking this. :D



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Sat Jul 08, 2017 1:53 pm
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PrincessInk wrote a review...



YAY! They can finally set off.

So Ayda's decision to take Madeline to Crescent Moon is a little for her own benefit (though it does look like she's doing this entirely for Madeline's good :p). Obviously only a Mary-Sue (I think) would do this ALL just out of kindness. It's a bit of self-centered reason, and that's why it also makes Ayda not exactly considerate about what her actions might cause.

Some minor thing I want to comment on is Mom's and Ayda's conversation. I'm really liking how Mom explains to Ayda as if she's an equal--looking down on her is definitely not the way to go. I saw that Ayda was so nervous when Mom came in about her bag (and I'd be too) but then that tension was kind of forgotten through the conversation. The tension could be slipped in through body language(such as Ayda getting more nervous if her mother happened to look down).

The mention of the Shades...that's a very bad sign indeed--a sign screaming "They might actually run into these Shades on the road". I'm kind of expecting these Shades to come out in the story because--why not?--Mom expressed them as a concern.

And then when Nova came in I thought that she'd figure out what Ayda was up too (minus her human companion of course)! But then it was good for Ayda to just mumble a pretext and rush away. Nova'd be too sleepy to be as quick-witted like normal. Seeing Nova pop in was like an "Oh no!" moment. That was a surprising moment!

A nitpick I might have is that the sentences when Ayda is rushing into the forest are a bit long when I thought the pacing needs to have a fast rhythm. They've been bogged down a little with participial phrases and perhaps it would be good to break them up a little.

A bit of a ramble but I hope this helped. Ask if you have any questions!




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Sat Jul 08, 2017 3:26 am
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DragonWriter22 wrote a review...



I know I keep saying this, but I really really love how the rewrite/editing has been going so far!

Ayda is so in-character here! You've really managed to land on a voice for her and while she is impulsive, you portray it from her side in a way where it feels reasonable to the reader and they can understand why she came to that conclusion.

I also really like the seeds you've planted here for Ayda's later story arc. I'm putting my comment on this in a spoiler so I don't spoil this for anyone who hasn't read the first draft:

Spoiler! :
A large part of the later story and conflict is with Madeline and Ayda and the betrayal and all that. I don't know if you'll be writing it the same way this time around, but a large part of that conflict was Madeline feeling used by Ayda and you can see beginnings of that here. Ayda does want to help Madeline, but then also has personal reasons for going. Here Ayda is honest about her personal reasons and their relationship is fine (I can tell from their interactions here that they have potential to become great friends and I'm eager to read more), but I can see how Madeline's irritation could build up if such incidents continue. Well done with early introduction!


I was surprised when Nova caught her. XD for some reason I wasn't expecting that at all. Now I'm really curious to see how that plays out. It adds extra conflict to the beginning so that's good, though I'm not sure how Ayda's going to get away fast enough now.

I really loved the wood carving details, by the way. I remember the last draft had her submitting a leaf so there was a nice surprise there. The shade does sound like a really good piece to submit (though you know how partial I am to dragons, especially sculptures of baby ones that are sleeping). It does occur to me now that I'm not sure if you've described shades in detail in this draft yet. I have a clear picture of them in my mind since I read the previous draft, but newer readers might be confused.

Sorry that my review's kind of all over the place. I haven't identified any overtly large problems with your writing, so I often have to go in for nit-picks for criticism. That's mostly what I could come up with here. The transition between Ayda talking to her mother and the next morning came rather suddenly. Perhaps you could add an extra space in between there to represent the shift of time? I was confused because it's only separated like all the other paragraphs. The other thing was that I was wondering if Ayda delivered more food to Madeline during the day. There wasn't a mention of it, though I could picture she might have done it during the time gap. Yeah, nit-picks like I said.

I had to write this review in a bit of a rush, but great job on this passage and I'm sorry I couldn't have been of more help. I really did have trouble finding critiques.




Mea says...


I'm so glad you're liking Ayda's voice!

though you know how partial I am to dragons, especially sculptures of baby ones that are sleeping

I put that in especially for you. :D

I was confused because it's only separated like all the other paragraphs.

That's an artifact of me copy/pasting it on here, will fix!





^.^




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