I'm sorry,
I'm sorry I'm like this,
I'm sorry I do this,
I'm sorry you have to pick me up when I'm down,
I'm sorry you have to wipe my tears away and tell me everything's ok,
I'm sorry I'm scared,
I'm sorry I can't stop...I wish I could,
I'm sorry I freak out like this,
I'm sorry I really am,
I'm sorry that I'm sorry.
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140,755 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
I can feel the desperation in the words of feeling sorry for everything, it is a very powerful emotion behind those words. I am not the best at grammar but personally I don't see any errors in this. Everyone at some point in their lives goes through feeling so very sorry some more than others and more yet can feel that more intensely than others. This is a wonderful piece.
*deep breath*
BOI.
I know you are sorry. As human beings we are always sorry, the both of us. Its in our f***ing nature to be sorry for christ sake! WE both freak out, we both need to picked up when we are down. But thats why we are together. Unlike brothers and sisters, mothers and father, lovers just have their ways with one another that no one else ever will. I don't care if we are eighty and you still need a shoulder to cry on, I will be there. Always.
And because I cannot help it, REVIEW TIME! I did not notice anything wrong beside the fact that their should be an "I" after the "I'm sorry" in the line "I'm sorry can't stop...I wish I could,". Otherwise, I loved the poem. Keep up the good work!
Thanks hon
No problem.
Hello there! I will be reviewing your work today!
First of all, thank you for posting your work here. It was very honest and I think we can all relate to this at one point or another in life. It did give me a sad vibe, and was true in words. I thought it was nice! Now, onward!
"ok" should actually be "OK" but I think that really depends on person and their opinions.
I'm sure you aren't looking for simple grammatical errors, but I thought I might include this anyway. You should squeeze in an "I" between "sorry" and "can't". Also, I would have to agree with @Radrook's statement of periods at the ends of each line. Normally I'm all for commas, but in this case you have complete sentences and it almost helps things stay organized. I hope that makes sense.
The use of repetition with the words "I'm sorry..." at the beginning of each line almost got tiring on my tongue and less of an impact to the overall poem. Maybe only use it every couple of lines? It's good to have in the poem for sure (since that is what the poem is revolved upon) but it is almost used too much. You could just have the words "I'm Sorry..." in the first and last lines. That's really effective that way and that way you can use commas to separate why you are sorry for.
I also found the lines quite vague. You never really went into detail with anything, which I'm kind of disappointed about. I wish you included the description of something happening, described a flashback, etc. That would make the poem even better!
I thought the last line was great! It ended the poem perfectly. Saying you're sorry for all of that, then apologize for saying sorry in the first place. It was a smart way to sum up everything.
I hope I helped in some way.
neptune
Thanks for sharing this exceedingly apologetic poem. Actually, it isn't hard to imagine someone reaching a state of mind where he or she feels the need to apologizing for everything he does and even for his own existence.
If a person is placed under extreme criticism where every single thing done is never good enough-he can become eventually convinced that he is indeed worthless and is an offense to other humans. I guess some would see that as brain washing.
Kids who are constantly under that kind of incessant barrage of negatives can easily be led into that kind of self-recrimination. The poem is describing a very extreme case of course. But along the continuum of human behavior there are different grades of such symptoms some much more severe than others,
From a study of the human psychology I found this poem exceedingly revealing. I also found it a bit humorous on how it ends with the speaker regretting even feeling sorry. LOL!
Suggestion: Replace all the commas with periods since those are full sentences.
@Flumadiddle
thanks hon
No problem *smiles like an idiot*