Hats, hats, a wonderful thing.
Hats, hats, I like to where them around town.
Hats, hats, joy they bring.
Hats, hats, dont matter the color even if it be brown.
Hats, hats, I find them quite dapper.
Hats, hats, so many things a hat can be.
Hats, hats, tell a hat pun it'll be a knee slapper.
Hats, hats, they are so special to me.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,280 Literary Works • 672,524 Reviews
I know what the intentions of this poem were, so I'm sorry if I took it the wrong way, but OH MY WORD YOU MADE MY DAY! I laughed to the point of tears, I don't even know why I found this so funny. XD I read it to my sister in a Brittish accent, and she said "I love it" she's walking around the house quoting it. Charming and hilarious, my friend, don't stop writing. XD
Thanks
This is ZeldaisShiek here to review another entry in the poetry section that I had not anticipated when I first looked at it. I like the poem itself, however the meaning is quite clear and dull. Also, you made some writing mistakes in the process. Let's talk about that!
First of all, your first line basically give away the whole meaning. THis makes your work feel more straightforward and less cryptic, which is a good thing, since poems like this rely on accessibility to move forward in the ranks of all those cryptic ambiguous poems in the poetry section that can be interpreted in any way the reader sees fit. This gives your writing new meaning, because the reader can focus on the meaning itself, not finding it like a needle in a haystack of equally small and equally "good" needles.
The few things I have to complain about in this poem are very small, but they subtract from the overall meaning of the poem and make it feel like more work for the reader to understand it. The only reason I say that is because the repetition of the first few words of every sentence are interesting, but I don't think they actually help the rhyme scheme. Maybe you should write every other line in repetition! Either way, you should keep writing about things you love! ZeldaIsShiek- Out!
Usually I don't like to keep my reviews short but i'd be willing to do a proper overview if you at least checked your grammatical issues. I can see them from a mile away!
Remember separation between stanzas as well as determiners to add.
PenmanshipPriority
Hello LordTachanka! {Welcome to YWS!} Kara here for a (hopefully) quick review!
Hats, hats{,} {are} a wonderful thing.
keep up the great work.
Give me your soul.With that aside, I'm not the best at poetry but here we go!
Bold = grammar and flow issues.
Italics = suggestions and overall
Strikethrough= removeUnderline = krazy Kara komments.
Spoiler
Hats, hats{,} I like to {wear} them around town.
Hats, hats{,} {the} joy they bring.
Hats, hats{,} {doesn't} matter the color
even if it be brown.{Add a "--" here to separate stanzas}
Hats, hats{,} I find them quite dapper.
Hats, hats{,} so many things a hat can be. {Remove this line and replace it with something else that rhymes with "me." It doesn't make sense. A hat is a hat}
Hats, hats{,} tell a hat pun it'll be a knee slapper {Remove this and replace it as well. This doesn't make sense either}
Hats, hats{,} {they} are
sospecial to me. {Why?}The repetition is cute, but the grammatical issues are overwhelming and some of the lines are confusing. Also, this is not very humorous. Work on those issues and you're good
Why haven’t you given me your soul yet? --
Kara
Hey, Little here for a review!
The poem is fun, that's for sure. I quite like it for its random sense of humour and enjoyment! There are a few things that could be changed...
Line one : since you made the topic plural, you should have written "wonderful things".
Line four : "dont" needs an apostrophe, making it "don't". And the line could be changed to "the colour doesn't matter even if it's brown".
Last line : "they" shouldn't begin with a capital "T".
Overall : you could insert commas after the second "hats" to make the words roll off your tongue better, yes?
How do you make a good pun on a hat? I'm not criticising you, just asking. PM me a pun, will you?
Hope my review was not too critical!
No you review wasn't to critical at all thanks for the review it actually helps I quite new at this and overall suck at grammar so the more criticism the better!