A kiss,
the feel of her skin against mine.
Holding her hand,
and rubbing her finger with mine.
Saying I love you,
and not always using word.
Runing my fingers,
through her long brown hair.
Hold her tight,
and not letting go.
These miles,
make me feel as if were worlds away from each othe.
These months we wait,
know they feel like years.
But darlin I promise,
it‘ll all be worth it when we’re finally together.
Sincerely, Sugar.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Overall the poem/letter is choppy and doesn’t have a very good flow. And it’s kind of confusing because of the jumping “from side to side” where your on one topic about the person’s realationship. And it sounds like it’s in both past and present tense. Oh and just a hint your forgot the r on other. The first line doesn’t flow with the second line because it sort of confuses the feeling/sensation of kissing another person, and the Hold her tight and not let go lines make the peom really choppy maybe if you addrd holding instead of hold. And the know they feel like years line just doesn’t make sense. Other than that if was good, good job!!
~Cheers
This is amazing! I wish I was the person receiving this letter!Xd Ugh, but anyways, you did really good, there may have been a couple of spelling errors, but I could care less, they didn't really distract me. I like the way you described the best moments in a relationship, it was very romantic, and honestly, that's a good thing, I never say that! So congrats to you friend! Anywho, I hope you continue writing poems like these, they're amazing!:) Keep up the fantastical work!
Thank you @Lake
OKAY FIRST OF ALL
AWEEEEEE
Second of all, hey, it's Izzy.
One thing that bugged me is that you used the word "fingers" like three times, but besides that, I really liked it.
AND I KNOW WHO ITS ABOUT AND AWEEEE
You guys are so cute, and I can't wait for you to like, actually see each other, and it's going to be so cute and I SHIP IT! You guys are definitely going to last my friends!
Anyway, LT your awesome at poeming, and I have to look at some of your other work!
Izzy
I
LOVE
IT
@Flumadiddle