The Games Of the Wild

Hey, Myself from like two years ago when I was pretty horrible at writing poetry and had no idea what I was doing! Why did you put a picture up there? Was it because you had to substitute it for the poem itself being sloppy? Anyways, onto the poem.

So you are talking about the wild. Is this the actual thing you are talking about, or is it metaphorical? You are not making this clear. "The heart of the beast is the survival's core" is kind of generic and doesn't seem to have much of an underlying meaning.

The semicolon on the eighth line is also unnecessary as well as the italics you are using. Also, when you said "spots rippling across it's fur", you are saying it is, not its. Its is the proper term that needs to be used here. All the people below you essentially lied to you. You need to work on giving an actual meaning to your poem.

Beautiful. That was a masterpiece. I loved it so much!!!! I don't know what else to say except for one teensy question. How did you get the picture up there????? I don't know how because I'm new to this thing and I've only posted one thing on this website and that's Afterlife. You should check it out sometime. Supernatural section, if you were wondering......

Hi. Can I start off by saying that this was a very good poem? It was short, sweet, and really captured the attention of the audience. (Or at least me.) In the beginning, I thought you hit it spot on with the explanation of the cruelties of the wild. (Forgive me if I spelt cruelties wrong.) The emotion of the poem was conveyed in a subtle, yet meaningful manner. However, I began to get confused in the later lines of the poem. For the longest time in the poem, we spoke of the wild, and how life in the wild works. Yet we spoke of it as a general topic. Now, suddenly, you've given the wild a form to take on. Clearly, this was an animal of some sort. (A leopard I think, but I wasn't sure.) In my personal opinion, this particular part could have been forgone, but make no mistake, this can be used in many kinds of poetry, to add the effect I think you were going for. I just don't quite think it worked for this one. Keep at it, and I hope to see more from you in the future.

Hi there. It's review day
What an interesting title here.
The wild is a complex puzzle of many sorts

choose the wrong move and it's over

be careful where you step

dangers are at every corner[consider to put a full stop here]
I noticed that you are trying to create the end rhyme here.
While some of the poems can stand on its own without punctuation, but still just hard to do. This is because it will have an impact on your own poem in how your poem will be read , its flow, and the most important thing is the effect.

razor sharp claws

spots rippling across it's fur

the marks of the wild

the heart of the beast is the survival's core...

Hello.

So I have mixed feelings about this poem. I like the theme the poem carries along. Life being compared to the wild, and the dangers and fears that one usually feels through it.
I don't like the punctuation though. Either remove all of the punctuation, or make it more consistent. Just my opinion. For another reader this may be fine

The flow is fine in this.

My favourite lines have to be :


"the wild is no joke

hunt or be hunted,

this is no child's play;"


I liked the vibe running through the poem, but I think you need to work on the last line maybe. It didnt end well. Perhaps rephrase it


Rating : 7/10


Hassan

Hey!
This was a nice piece of poetry.
I noticed there was no punctuation, but then I suppose that's your way of writing.

I loved the use of the word 'rippling' in the sentence -

"spots rippling across it's fur"

- However, I think you could have done a wee bit better, because I wasn't quite in a flow while reading.

Keep writing!

hi writer,

you have warned of the dangers of wild.
the poem is filled with adrenaline.

i loved the lines- "
razor sharp claws

spots rippling across it's fur

the marks of the wild

the heart of the beast is the survival's core...


"
it makes the jungle scene be created in front of you.

this one
"be careful where you step

dangers are at every corner

a sacrifice for another

the wild is no joke"

makes sure your warning is a threat and challenge.

for this line,
hunt or be hunted,

i felt you could have used hunter in place of hunt. it gives the right antonym.

i.e. hunter or hunted,

makes the threat pronounced.

besides a great write. keep writing.

to see my work, visit,= The first betrayal