A Funeral of Demons
It was a bright and airy summer day, a typical day, one would think, for beach outings, gathering wildflowers, picnics and the like. It was not a day for celebrations of death, and yet one occurred nonetheless. Amidst a large clearing, in a big cemetery past which speeding motorists drove, there took place, a funeral of demons.
Rows of chairs, filled with nightmarish monstrosities, faced a podium. The podium was set up on a raised stage, directly in front of a beautifully made coffin, covered with the American flag. Moments passed by and the demons chattered on.
“Hey”, one tentacled fellow said to his companion, in a morose tone. “The world’s going to be a much happier place now that this guy’s gone, don’t you think?”
“Oh lord, I know!” The stinking pile of oozing slug replied, blinking his many eyes. “ This man caused such beautifull suffering, so many deaths. He could have passed for one of us you know.” He said in wistful tones.
Other demons, hearing the conversation, nodded and grunted in assent. They were as oblivious of the passing motorists as they were of the funeral. A tall lizard-man in a suave Armani suit walked up onto the stage and stood in front of the podium, waiting for silence. He didn’t get it. The demons chattered on. “Excuse me, ahem, excuse me!” He spoke in a tweedy, irritated voice, “Come on guys, shut up!” At this, the monsters finally quieted.
“Now, as you know, we don’t do this very often at all” He continued, in a droning tone “ We rarely, if ever come out to honour a human’s passing. We did it for Hitler, och he was a great man wasn’t he?” Over the rumbling, cacophony of assent he continued “We did it for Stalin and countless others, they were all great men. Today, we are here to honour the passing of…” his voice broke here, and he sniffled a little. Other demons bowed their heads, just as overcome.
“I’m sorry”,The lizard-man gasped out “He was just so great; I was a big fan” He sobbed.
“Its okay brother, we feel your pain!” someone called out.
“Mmmhmm, tell him sister! We are here for you, and that is the truth right there!”
“Thanks guys, thanks a lot.” He said, slightly muffled by the handkerchief he was blowing into. “So anyway, we are to honour the passing of George. W. Bush, a man who is just so much like us, he could be—No!—he must have been related to some of us! He did some great things, he was responsible for the deaths of countless thousands. A lot of them were innocents too. I could go on and on, but I don’t want to prolong this.” He turned to the coffin, patted it consolingly with a scaled claw, “We’ll miss you buddy.
“Yup, right until we meet again in Hell!” A smartass demon-wraith called out, overhearing the comment. There was a general roar of merriment, and then the monsters stood and began to drift away.
As this was happening, a little girl wandered through the trees. The jovial mood evaporated, turned malicious and sinister. Before anyone could do anything though, the girl’s concerned mother called out, “Emily! Emily, get back here, right this instance.”
The little girl turned, and clutching her doll to her chest, skipped back to the funeral she’d drifted away from. She had no idea how close she’d come to participating in her own funeral, that one, airy summer day.
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,827 Reviews
Quite a bit, I'd say, old boy. Thanks for mentioning it though, that means a lot. Didn't appear that many had noticed, hehe.
Was there anything in particular that prompted that, or was it a general remark? Hehe, its just that, apart from 'Aliens' --which isnt too good--I cant remember you having commented on anything of mine lol.
Cheers.
Hah, I remember reading this when I was still a new member.
Your writing's improved since you wrote this.
Some cemetarys are fun. Your one has some interesting skeletons.
I'm so surprised this is still getting commented on, haha, yay for digging in the cemetary of stories that is a persons Portfolio.
that was amazing. I love your humor. hahaha, wish i could write like that...but im getting there. haha. Seriously, this piece is very interesting and well written.
Ah, but the contradiction there is intended. They rarely come out for a HUMAN's passing, the implication there was they came out for their fellow demons...type thing. At least thats what I intended lol.
Thanks for the comment, hehe.
Hey Jig. Just reading back on some of your older stuff lol. Just one thing that I noticed that might be wrong, I think.
And gave me a bit of a surprise. I was just considering putting my story about someone who actually does attend their own funeral on here.
We rarely, if ever come out to honour a human’s passing. “We did it for Stalin and countless others.
I just think it seems like you're contradicting yourself a bit here. You said they rarely honour a humans passing, but it has been done for countless others?
Anyways lol, thanks for taking me back a year. It was a fun story.
Cheers for the comment. Huh, Id almsot forgotten about this lol. Thanks again.
Funny, funny, funny. Bush a demon. Even though Clinton messed up with his own personal life, I like him better than any of them. Except for his problem. Bush is a demon. LOL I loved it.
I thought Bush was an ostrich
XD Oh wow, I was laughing so hard by the middle of it... Oh my god.
Hehe. Oh well, the girl was as random as the story. Lol, thanks for the comments and praise ppl.
This part really didn't fit in at all. You have a bunch of demons and then, out of nowhere, a girl comes around and happens upon them. Um... okay?
If you want to keep the girl, then have her happen upon them at the very beginning, and then have the girl's mother call. That way, the story can finish itself up.
There were also some dialogue grammar issues, so look in one of your favorite grammar books *coughs*StrunkandWhite*coughs* and fix that.
Even so, it's an amusing story. I like the description of the demons... very creative.
THAT WAS GREAT! I LOVED IT!!! I WAS SO GLAD YOU LISTED SOME REAL DEMONS BEFORE LUCIFER aka BUSH!!! GOOD JOB: GOOD JOB
I'm a Bush fan.
I loved this.
I really liked how you did the listing of Hitler and Stalin - of course, at that point I could guess who they were mourning - and the chaos of the demons. Very funny.
I loved this piece so much! It was so hilarious and such a fresh idea (who'd ever think of writing a story about demons having a funeral for prez Bush? Its genius!).
I liked how you didn't reveal who the funeral was for until towards the end, because if you had said it in the beginning i might have stopped reading (i'm not a fan of his, but i think people are way to hard on him. I prefer him over Kerry or Gore any day. At least he takes a stand.).
Overall, great way to write a politically charged piece of prose and not make it into a rant ("republicans suck! I hate Bush and he can go to Hell! If you don't agree you can go too!").
Honestly I can't tell you how origional this is. I was captivated the whole time, and even after you dropped the political bomb, I kept going 'cause I loved it so much.
Thanks people. LOl, yes I can call bush a demon and fear not Im already in hiding.
Quite intresting bush is a demon, and why a lizard man random, but its really good no problems so yeah.
I think I'd better refrain from commenting on the Bush/demon aspect. I'm not American so it's probably not really polite for me to join in.
There were a couple of little spelling mistakes, nothing major. You probably just over looked them rather than not knowing how to spell those words.
I thought it was interesting that it occured on a summer's day. I suppose it's symbolic that it's a good day because he's dead and gone. I liked that. Not the symbolic (I'd rather not start some kind of war over that sort of thing), but just because it's a funeral on a summer's day rather than in pouring rain.
I liked the attitudes of the demons. They were very ... relaxed, and happy. Which is also interesting for a funeral, but then, they're demons. They're not the respectful type really. Maybe the speaker was a little too informal in his speech? Or was he? They're your demons, after all, so their whole attitude is your call. Maybe that's normal for one of these demons.
This is a very interesting piece. I hope Bush supporters won't start a thing over it, because you've got the right to say what you like. It's your opinion and people can't make you think what they want you to. Plus, it's a pretty entertaining piece and I enjoyed it.
Wow! I'm not the only person who thinks Bush is a demon. What fun!
I loved your piece. You described everything very well and the demon's attitudes were just hysterical! _/)
Did you just call Bush a demon? Can you do that? I think the secret service is comin for ya now. Better pack you're stuff.
Other than that.
Nice little story there Jiggy. Kinda...odd...but interseting all the same