The people of earth were idiots, led by idiots in as ridiculous a manner as possible. And they were about to be woken up to that fact. It was a normal day as far as they go, reports on war, diseases, disasters were rampant, yet made no impact. People had better things to do...like...stuff about them. So they toiled away, working themselves into a dull routine that would consume their lives till the point where they wouldn't even notice their own death.
Naturally--yet despite the warning signs--people were still surprised when earth was invaded by aliens. After Michael jackson appeared as a white man, then later with the children thing, I mean it was pretty obvious.The invasion began a while back except no one noticed. Anyway, it took the world two days to notice the invasion, as it would with everyone being preoccupied with...everyone. During that time the madmen of the world united--with the overly pale, unmarried fat conspiracists--to say a huge collective, "I told you so!" They were summarily arrested and taken away for questioning.
Well, then the people began to exclaim and point, discussing intelligently the ramifications of this discovery: "Ooooh, look at those floating things!" , "Arent they shiny?" , "And prettyful too!" It didnt take long for that wonder to turn to worried frowns, then into full blown panic! (The band became immensly popular yes.) A day afterward, George "Dubbya" Bush appeared on national television, declaring war on the aliens:
"My fellow Americans it is my sad duty to inform you that the aliens are indeed real and not just some hoax cooked up to entertain me before nap-time. Yes, it is sad, because these aliens have Weapons of mass destruction." He nods gravely. "That's right, they're the baddies and were gunna knock them outta the sky!"--From seemingly nowhere the President seized a gun and fired several rounds, yahooing wildly. The live feed was suddenly cut, the next day the president's actions were blamed on the aliens.
After this people began to pay attention to whatever it was the idiot staring out at them from the TV was saying, on any one of the thousand news stations. The next day, when tensions were highest with the US arming for war, the aliens communicated. Through every radio outlet in the world and on every screen in every country these words were heard:
"Hellllllooooooo. Whats happening Mars!! Yeaaaahh, woo!"--there was a period of static, interspersed with speech--"What do you mean we're not on mars?", "then where the *static* are we?"
There was a pause. The world waited with bated breath.
"Helllllllllloooooo. Whats happening Earth! I wanna give a shout out to my main man Michael Jackson! Woo! ... Yeahh, alrigth then." said the voice conversationally. "Ok, so uh were invading. I know it sucks but hey, if your dumb enough to elect this idiot--an image of Bush was shown--"then you pretty much deserve anything we dish out. I mean usually, we take over, and put this retarded figurehead in power...but I doubt there's a better candidate then this guy, so yeah...you're money now comes to us."
The voice continued on for quite a while, but the people had already moved on. Aliens were suddenly 'in', humans were out. Emos found a new reason to hate themselves and Alien movies and shirts became all the rage; several popular Hollywood personas were pictured with aliens...or Michael Jackson and Lindsay Lohan. Minime from Austin powers was also prominent. But, as rages do, it died.
So what if aliens invaded? Big whoop, I like, totally have other things to do and worry about--seemed to be the general consensus. Things settled down and people began to get back into the dull haze of work work work.
So what if aliens invaded? Big Whoop, we've got more important things to do, like totally look out for the next 'in
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Canary word: Present
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140,218 Literary Works • 673,046 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Knight Hardy here on a mission to ensure that all works on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but....Imma do this anyway.
First Impression: Well this was hilarious. Definitely a lot of fun to read there. I feel this might actually be true even though it sounds like a ridiculous notion. Humans these days are doing some pretty crazy things and making some rather stupid decision we are technically in a situation that would be a crisis similar to an actual alien invasion.
Anyway let's get right to it,
An excellent opening there and it's kind of sad to see that this would apply even 14 years after this was written which is not boding well for us.
Well this is really well done. Just a couple of minor typos there. You've forgotten to capitalize Jackson and I don't think conspiracists is an actual word.
Ouch.
This is reminding me of a scene from a movie although I'm pretty darn sure that that movie was made at least eight years after this one was written which is giving me some serious chills down the spine.
Well that was well and truly roasted right there.
Oh dear that's not a very good looking conclusion for Earth.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: So this was a pretty darn well done little joke here. It had a really nice flow to it and the humor didn't feel forced at any point and those are all good thing. So great job with this funny little piece. After just coming off from a pretty sad story I appreciate this one even more.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Lol, thanks a lot guys...or gals in this instance. Cheers.
Love the intro. Especially that first sentence...
You don't need the "then"
shouldn't it be "themselves" instead of everyone?
love the "overly pale, unmarried fat conspiracists" getting taken away for questioning.
it's great. and so true. I think bush should make some comment about them being terrorists... or try to say they're affiliated with the 9/11 planes. Everyone hates our president... he didn't even get the popular vote. At least film star Arnold S. is redeeming himself as govenor of CA. UG, you got me started.
Love the piece.
Oh that was simply great, Jiggy. I loved it... and lol, I think it says a lot about human reaction in general. I really loved it. Great job. I think this may have beaten magicman's Matrix Unloaded, actually... ^_~