Young Writers Society

Hi there Holly. This is Kays here dropping in for a review on a very late Monday morning because this is the final work that I happened to copy and paste into a Google Doc and I have nothing better to do--why not review? With that being said, let’s not waste any time and delve right in.

I stab a spud with my precious fork. My only fork. The fork I'd been carting around with me since I found it in an abandoned convenient store tacked onto a gas station at the beginning of all this, and I'd held onto it all these months. It was plastic, and one of the prongs had broken off when I'd forgot it in my back pocket.

Hi there!

So first of all I'm going to drop this off for you, instead of spending any time talking about it. It's super useful for quick reference.



Now: For the most part, I think this does a good job as a flash fiction. I didn't feel much like I needed more information about the other guy. I like flash fiction that could be a whole story but instead shows an important moment.

From the start, this story feels that way. Because of the precious fork and the title of "last human in Cape Cyon," it has a dystopian feel at first, although that's a little compromised by the talk of caretakers and running away. Maybe they're in a ghost town instead, although that would still make me wonder why the fork is so precious - presumably there are other towns nearby that the narrator could sneak into to find a fork, but then again maybe they don't think they could avoid detection.

Where I think this falls flat is the ending. There's a joke, and that's nice, but I think a really good flash fiction hones in on a single, important moment. This starts out that way - the narrator has just met another person, when they thought they were the last person in Cape Cyon - but it just ends with a joke. The only thing that makes this feel like it could be meaningful is

The answer was and always would be nineteen and a half years.

I honestly haven't read a lot of flash fiction, but this story has made me want to give it a try! Like the other reviewer, I thought the opening with the fork was great. It was intriguing and made me want to read more. I really wish that there was more of this because I want to know where the story is going to go. Plus, you get bonus points because potatoes are really freaking good so gold stars for you for having it be the food of choice in this short.

I'm not sure really what else to say except that I enjoyed it immensely (which you probably could tell from the paragraph above. I am really looking forward to reading more of your work, and I think that this piece warrants a follow because I am so intrigued and looking forward to seeing what comes next.

*is seriously way too desperate for something to review*

Welp. This was interesting. It was like you just took a scene out of a story, the much bigger picture, and kind of threw it at us. There was a lot left unsaid, and I have quite a few questions (which CateRose basically covered), but I did like what you did with the September thing. And totally not because I was born in September, too. That was kind of funny. xD I've heard, no I've read some thoughts on flash fiction, and so many people are always saying to go for an impacting ending. Like a punch-in-the-gut kind of thing. I didn't feel as if I got punched in the gut, but I did think you were pretty successful with that punchline closing.

I don't know a whole lot about flash fiction, but something I read from one woman about it could, I think, be applied here. Basically, she was saying what does not work in flash fiction is when you take something that makes sense longer, but try to "squish it down to the target length." I'm not sure if you had a target length with this, but all the unsaid stuff (who the dude is, who the narrator is, the world ending(?)) gave me some pause. I think I can understand the gist of the background - MAYBE - but at the same time, I'm not quite sure.

Even now, it gave me a sense of satisfaction- me, eating all sophisticated with my fork while he plucked boiling hot potatoes into his mouth with his fingers.

Hi Holysocks! I'm here for a review of this wonderful story!

This story tells so much in so few words. Honestly, I myself would have written this with at least 100 more words! xD

Anyways, the first sentence's word choice just grabs me! When you said "precious fork", I instantly had so many questions! Also I love how you used "spud" instead of just potato. The first paragraph also has me asking so many questions, like why is it their only fork? Why was it so precious?

In the second paragraph, I love how the narrator thinks that they are eating "all sophisticated" with their fork. But I do have some unanswered questions like, Where is Cape Cyon? Is is an abandoned town? Who is this other man? I can take a guess at the last one but the rest I have very little clue about.

Also, at the end, I love how the narrator just says "September" then "I didn't say which September" I was cracking up at the second! xD Then when they said, "I was born in September" I was thinking about how confused the other guy must have been!

Well, overall, super great story! Love it and keep up the great stories!

Hello there, CateRose here for a review. Only several things that I want to point out, very easy fixes.

- " no biggie." It may fit the Character's personality, but at the same time it doesn't fit the tone of the story very well. That's just a preference of mine. Take it or leave it.

- the story leaves a lot of suspense, which is good if you expect yourself to expand on this story line. But if you plan to keep it as a short, general story, I advise you to explain- or rather show what is going on. This is definitely something to expound on.

- Here's a few things for starters:
1.What is it the end of? The world? A certain part of the main character's life? Show what you mean, it leaves the reader satisfied with the story rather than frustrated.

2. What happened with the dad? This makes sense, then it doesn't. Again, show what you mean, give the story a back story.

3. Who is the MC talking to? What does he look like, smell like, dressed like? Instead of making him another voice in the story, make him a person.

4. What is Cape Cyon? What does it look like? Is there water nearby, or an abandoned fair? That's what I imagined. Leave less to the reader's imagination, but still leave them some interest.

5. What gender is the MC. If you don't wish to specify the gender exactly, give subtle hints to which the MC is. Show with the movements, or the tones in their voice. Maybe what they're wearing can tell.


Overall, there are no major grammar mistakes. A wonderful plot that could turn into a great and dramatic novella. If I had to rate it, I'd give it 8/10. Good work!