You are my puzzle piece
I didn't always fit you
but we have cut out new edges
carved out new spaces
And now your pieces are the only ones that connect to mine
Our puzzle will always be incomplete
The very center given away long ago
A gaping hole where the heart of our picture should be
Our corners missing
thrown away in that moment of apologies
Only our pieces matter
molded into the perfect unit
sides loving each other
asking to be brought together again
even when the box has been put away
And even if your edges have changed
even if your corners are different
even if I no longer fit
make sure your pieces find mine
because it will always be our picture
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,800 Reviews
Hey! Cello here! Happy review day!
Okay, so I've been attacking almost every poet with a rant about punctuation. Okay, maybe 'attacking' isn't the word, but if anyone had been wasting their time to read all my reviews their going to be thinking 'wow, she's obsessed with punctuation'.
For the most part, this poem flows pretty well, but I would suggest some commas, maybe periods too.
^Change this to
You are my puzzle piece.
I didn't always fit you
but we have cut out new edges,
carved out new spaces.
Or even the old approach of
You are my puzzle piece,
I didn't always fit you,
but we have cut out new edges,
carved out new spaces.
or
You are my puzzle piece,
I didn't always fit you,
but we have cut out new edges,
carved out new spaces,
It's really a matter of opinion. Some poets hate punctation all together, and that's fair, it's their art, their choice, but sometimes it better to add a few commas than to leave the lines alone.
Other than that, I really loved the poem. You told a really beautiful story and I couldn't help but smile while reading it.
Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Hey there!
I'm so sorry that I didn't get a chance to review your other works, I had a lot of stuff going on at the time and wasn't able to review anyone's works. I hope I can still review some of your things in the future!
The first bit really hit me: "I didn't always fit you", it makes me think of when two people don't really "match up" together and they try to make it work. A lot of people change themselves for others, and it seems like that's what the two in this poem have done.
When you said "our corners missing" I was mentally looking for something to follow it more like, "worn down over the years" or "torn from the wear of being together" mostly because I think about puzzle corners being gone because they've worn down into nothing after years of wear and tear. You don't have to put something like that in there, but it's just what I naturally jump too, and I think others might relate to that as well.
The ending is pretty sweet, it suggests that the two have been through a lot and even though they aren't perfect anymore, even though they haven't been great for each other all along, they still care for each other. That's really nice!
Overall, you have a very nice poem here!! I can't wait to read some of your others now that I have some more time.
-Falco
Excellent word choice!! You really have a way of putting words down in a way that is moving and emotionally connected to the reader. Amazing figurative language, and I just love the overall meaning of the poem. Ten thumbs up!!
Hello!
This is really fantastic. I love the metaphors here. They are really quite effective. I've heard the puzzle piece thing before, but never explained so effectively, and so any potential cliche-ness is gone.
Your flow is good, and your word choice is good. It is all technically and thematically very excellent.
One thing I feel like you're missing here is consistency in images. You first start off with just a singular puzzle piece, and then later it is revealed that these two people create an entire puzzle (with pieces missing of course). This created a break in the image in my mind.
Something else that didn't quite fit was the part where the middle, the heart, had been removed. I'm assuming this is some sort of metaphor for a loss of love. But after that, it still talks about how they loved each other. I'm just curious about how one can love in one's heart is not in a relationship. The other thing is that if the middle is gone, and the edges/corners were lost, what is left of the puzzle?
I like the ending, but how will this person's pieces find the narrator's if they don't fit together? Like, I'm getting from this that there was some sort of break up of these two people. Why would the narrator tell the other person to make sure their pieces find theirs? If they changed, they probably don't want to be with the narrator any more, and I feel like the narrator should respect that and not tell them what to do? I don't know. Never mind.
I don't really understand why the corners are missing from the moment of apologies. What does that mean?
Anyway, I thought this was really well executed, and my suggestions aren't really needed for this to be a great poem. It's that already.
Great job, keep writing!
~fortis
Yes. yes the two people are singular pieces. its not so much that they make up an entire puzzle. Its more like they are just two pieces of this puzzle but the puzzle belongs to them in a really significant way.
About the heart being removed... the heart of the puzzle just signified an important part of these two lovers... and yes, they loved each other anyway which is why the poem continues the way it does.
The corners are missing and so is the heart. Whats left is the two lovers and the two pieces they represent.....Thanks for the feedback;greatly appreciated.
Daamn girl! this is one sweet piece of art you got there! Love the way you expressed how imperfect they were by using a puzzle and wow you definitely hit the nail on the head intensely!
You definitely painted a moving picture in my head with spaces and missing pieces of this love poem describing one's love through puzzle.
Bravo! Excellent work mate! Keep writing stuff like this!
Thank you so much
