Hey! Cello here! Happy review day!
Okay, so I've been attacking almost every poet with a rant about punctuation. Okay, maybe 'attacking' isn't the word, but if anyone had been wasting their time to read all my reviews their going to be thinking 'wow, she's obsessed with punctuation'.
For the most part, this poem flows pretty well, but I would suggest some commas, maybe periods too.
You are my puzzle piece
I didn't always fit you
but we have cut out new edges
carved out new spaces
^Change this to
You are my puzzle piece.
I didn't always fit you
but we have cut out new edges,
carved out new spaces.
Or even the old approach of
You are my puzzle piece,
I didn't always fit you,
but we have cut out new edges,
carved out new spaces.
or
You are my puzzle piece,
I didn't always fit you,
but we have cut out new edges,
carved out new spaces,
It's really a matter of opinion. Some poets hate punctation all together, and that's fair, it's their art, their choice, but sometimes it better to add a few commas than to leave the lines alone.
Other than that, I really loved the poem. You told a really beautiful story and I couldn't help but smile while reading it.
Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Points: 192
Reviews: 245
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