It's 1am and all I can do is think of you,
Like there's nothing else for me to do.
I know, I know, "How cliche"
But I can't push these thoughts away,
I wonder what we could be.
There's just so much that I could see.
My last thought is of us,
And, oh, how it makes me anxious.
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141,354 Literary Works • 674,379 Reviews
TIME FOR A REVIEW!!!!
I just wanted to start out by saying this is a wonderful poem! Though it is very short it feels loud. I know most girls can relate to this poem and I know that I can which is always a good thing! I would say maybe try and change your title to capture the reader a little more. Like maybe the title could be "My last thought is of us" just to make it a little more interesting but it is really up to you
Keep writing and good luck!!!
TIME FOR A REVIEW!!!!
I just wanted to start out by saying this is a wonderful poem! Though it is very short it feels loud. I know most girls can relate to this poem and I know that I can which is always a good thing! I would say maybe try and change your title to capture the reader a little more. Like maybe the title could be "My last thought is of us" just to make it a little more interesting but it is really up to you
Keep writing and good luck!!!
TIME FOR A REVIEW!!!!
I just wanted to start out by saying this is a wonderful poem! Though it is very short it feels loud. I know most girls can relate to this poem and I know that I can which is always a good thing! I would say maybe try and change your title to capture the reader a little more. Like maybe the title could be "My last thought is of us" just to make it a little more interesting but it is really up to you
Keep writing and good luck!!!
Putting a title is literally the hardest part ! I really like that suggestion. Thank you so much for you review! It was very helpful.
Hello! InfiniteRectangles here!
So, as you already know, this is quite cliche. But it's sweet at the same time.
It's also a bit short, but at 1 AM one doesn't really tend to be super clear-headed. But I feel that it is a bit *too* short. It's too short to really capture the emotion behind what you are saying. Maybe you could describe the anxiety in more depth. Is it rising with the moon or is it consistent? Add some imagery, it's ok! Don't be shy!
"It's 1am all all I can do is think of you,"
First off, nice internal rhyme! But maybe you should elaborate. Who is "you"? Why are they on your mind this late at night? Are they good memories or bad memories? As is, the poem could go either way. Are you thinking of a past lover or a current one? Or is it a lover at all? I understand leaving it up to interpretation but you could be at least a little more clear.
Overall, it's a good poem,but it's very vague. Remember to elaborate and add some imagery and you'll be just fine! Keep writing and have a wonderful day/night!
Thank you for your review. I was skeptic about posting it because it was so short but I will see what I can do and I'll let you know when I do, if that's okay. Thank you again.
First off, let me say this is my first review on this site, and also my first review of poetry ever!
First off, I like the subject matter of the poem a lot! I can relate a lot to what you are saying in your poem, the fact of it being so cliche, and thinking about the future, its something I feel everyone has gone through, so you can connect to a lot of people. To make this better, I feel you should add more, giving me more specific examples. What do you see when you think of this person, what does being anxious feel like... You can talk about how restless you are at 1 AM, when you are trying to go to sleep. If you add more imagery that way, I feel the emotion you are trying to convey will intensify much more. With this poem as it is, you have brought me to the beginning of the trail, now take me on an adventure through it!
Thank you very much for your review! It was really good for it being your first. I will see what I can do about more detail and get back to you on that! Thank you again.
Hello! Iamawriter here for a review!
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First of all, I'm glad that you admitted to it being cliche because it is extremely cliche. (Forgive me in advance I'm feeling....picky today.) Is this how you want this to be? No comment on my end, I'll just let you think about that.
Anyways, other than that I thought it flowed well and the rhyming made sense. I like that. Oh, this line "There's just so much that I could see." I didn't quite understand what that line ment so you might want to fix that.
Keep writing and sorry for being so negative!
(Just pm sometime if you want me to review anything else.)
Negativity is definitely welcome here, thank you for your review and for being so honest!
@HiImAndy I'm very glad that you appreciated my honesty! That makes me think higher of you as a writer! Haha anyways!