The Hurt Girl's Poem

greetings

i am real lousy at pointing out grammatical errors and i think your poem don't have any. i read it several times. it just caught my attention and in short i really liked it. boys, are those creatures that i hate most so it was obvious i would give attention to anything that is against them.

but the last stanza-
"Treat her as you would your daughter" is from us girls.
Love her like she's yours forever.
Don't just buy her diamonds and pearls,
give her a life together."

you were talking about BOYS i guess not MEN. boys would never try to buy pearls and diamonds for their girlfriends. so the saying just go for man.and for sure no boy would like to treat their girlfriends as daughters.

i think i may be wrong at assuming the meaning of the last stanza as such, but it just appeared to me like it. overall i liked the poem. i just loved it. your style of putting words together is simply beautiful.

happy review day .

hi i'm tazeen. i'm new here. i liked your poem and i'm going to write a review soon.

I'm not sure how to feel about this poem.I like your format and grammar is good.
You maybe could have made it longer or shorter it reads to much like some kind of
love help article. It is more advisive than poetic get a little deeper better metaphors
will help. write down the consequences for not doing what you listed adds conviction and makes the reader feel like he read something by someone who they should really listen to.

Hey, I'm Aarica I'm here to review your poem, which is 100% SPOT ON AND COMPLETELY ACCURATE. Sometimes I feel like no one else gets me or understands me, especially since I have anxiety and depression and all of those things that a lot of other people don't have. All of these things makes my heart very fragile. I'm rambling, my bad!
I like all of these points, because they're just, I don't know, amazing!
Keep up the good work!
~Aarica

I think that this is a really nice piece and it is super original with the formatting! I really enjoyed it, and yeah, I can relate, haha. You've captured the emotions of many girls and given a positive message to guys. The only thing that stuck out to me a lot was the rythym in the "*dead air*" section when you said, "and liked knocking down her crown." This line was a bit lengthy in my opinion. Here are some other ideas to try-
"and knocked off her crown"
"and liked stealing her crown"
I hope these helped. I might spend a bit more time editing some things when it comes to rhythm if I were you, because it's important in rhyming poems. But overall, amazing job, and keep up the fantastic work! You have really captured the focus of the poem perfectly! xx wonderlandashes