The questions of life

by Hanorah

Published April 4, 2013

E - Everyone

In Poems

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Why do we live when we die?
Why do we laugh when we cry?
Why do we smile when we sigh?

These questions must be in everyone's mind,
as we all want to find:
a way to push out all the pain,
a way to stop all this rain,

But pain helps us learn to fight, 
And after rain there will be light,
so make to most of life until the day turns into night.
Comments & reviews · 6
User avatar
Jony
Review
Jony wrote a review Review · Jul 13, 2013

Hey! So, I'm not really used to reviewing poetry but I will try to make this as helpful as possible.

So, to start off, I have to say, I really liked this poem! I thought that it flowed well together and that you have a great sense of rhyme.

I like how you started off using rhetorical questions, I think it makes the reader interested and wanting to read more.

I liked the rhyming you used in the poem, but I also thought that maybe in the future, you could use some more complicated rhyming structures, instead of just AAA AABB, stuff like that. I think that it was nice in this poem, but later on, maybe you could branch out.

I think this was a really nice message, and everything flowed well together. I don't have much to say besides that, though. All in all, I really liked this poem and hope to read some more from you soon.

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GeeLyria
Review
GeeLyria wrote a review Review · May 26, 2013

Hi Hanorah!

I'm GeeLyria and I'll be reviewing for you.

Alright, quick review here. So I like the sound of this; it's quite delicious~ the rhythm, the flow, the wording~ it's decent enough. However, I think the punctuation is rather weird in some places. o.O

These questions must be in everyone's mind,
as we all want to find:
a way to push out all the pain,
a way to stop all this rain,

I don't think that punctuation is the most appropriate, being honest. I think it would be better if you would--- I'll show you.

These questions must be in everyone's mind,
as we all want to find-
a way to push out of the pain;
a way to stop all this rain.


Like that. It's not only less confusing but slightly more professional, I believe. That's my grain of sand!

Keep Writing!

~GeeLyria

User avatar
Rurouni
Comment
Rurouni commented Comment · Apr 5, 2013

I love this. It is so simple, yet so powerful. But what happens when the day turns to night? That's my question.

User avatar
PumpkinCat
Review
PumpkinCat wrote a review Review · Apr 4, 2013

Hello, PumpkinCat here with a review for you today! I really liked this, It really gets me thinking about all the questions you put into this. The first paragraph seemed to flow well, but then as you gradually move to the second paragraph it seems to lose its flow I think where it loses its flow is in this line: "In help for us to find a way". That's where it seems to lose flow. But the rest of the poem seems to have good flow. So only paragraph two seems to mess you up. I like this 8/10

User avatar
Supermeggs12
Review
Supermeggs12 wrote a review Review · Apr 4, 2013

It has a great message, and I like the way it flowed. The questions in the first stanza were good too. The second stanza flowed a bit less, and the rythme sounded forced. Maybe that was only me, though. Then the third, was mostly good, but the finishing line sounded awkward. If there was maybe a different to word that it would be awesome.

Overall, this is great! Heartwarming, and cute. Good job with this and keep writing!

Random avatar
Kishanrenlove
Comment
Kishanrenlove commented Comment · Apr 4, 2013

I like this a lot!

Hanorah replied · Apr 4, 2013

Thanks!



The human heart has hidden treasures, in secret kept, in silence sealed...
— Charlotte Bronte