Clocks

Heya, Eevee! Casanova here with another review! I'll be taking this piece by piece, so let's get to the review!

Before I take this piece by piece I want to ask- what is this about? You mention clocks, you mention anxiety, but overall you don't really give us anything? We have the image of a clock, and we have the feeling of anxiety. But you tell us both of those. Why are we feeling anxiety? What is the clock counting down to? This is where imagery comes into play. Mess around with us, and make us feel something more than you just repeating something out of boredom.

Anyway, the first stanza-

Constraining, binding

Anxiety causing.

Eyes flicking,

Clocks.

Counting down,

And waiting till,

Keeping track,

With clocks.

Sweating palms,

Butterflies,

All from watching,

The clock.

Constant ticking,

Always clicking,

Driving me mad,

Clocks.

Not yet,

Wait for it,

Never ending,

Clocks.

Hello!

I also feel the anxiety when I stare at a clock. Time passing is something out of everyone's control and I think that many people can relate to this.

I like how many gerunds you use. In case you don't know, a gerund is a present tense verb, or a word ending in -ing. I'd encourage you to use even more of them to create even more of a sense of movement!

Usually, I don't like short lines in poetry very much, but it fits the mood that you're portraying, as well as the subject. The choppiness of the meter you've created is reminiscent of ticking clocks and also the tenseness that accompanies anxiety.

The repetition of clock at the end of every stanza is working pretty well for me. I'm not a huge fan of repetition most of the time, but the repetition is cyclical, much like a clock itself.

Try fleshing this out a little more with description. Use your five senses to show what's going on with the narrator. Bring us into their head. You do have aspects of three of the five senses, but you can incorporate more. You use sight, touch, and a little bit of sound, but if you were to put us in front of a particular clock, I think the images would last longer in my head and this poem would be more memorable. Try putting the narrator in a specific situation instead of general anxiety. Are they waiting for the bell to ring at school? Are they waiting for someone to visit? Give us something so we have more of a story about this narrator.

Also, a tip on formatting: if you hold shift when you press enter, the lines are single spaced. When you need a stanza break, don't hold shift when you press enter. Then you can get rid of your stanza break markings!

I hope that this review proves useful to you. Happy writing, and happy review day!

Hey Ever!
I agree mostly with what Yams said. I feel like this poem was not as good as your others. I seemed a little bland. I can tell that you wanted the poem to be bland (to give off the message of boredom and waiting) but I just feel like the poem is lacking. I for one am a fan of repetition, I use it often but I also know when to not use it. I really hope I'm not being too harsh. Other than that I really enjoyed this poem. I have a weird thing where I love clocks. Oh! I also think you should have put more imagery and color into this poem.
Anyway sorry for my rabbling. I really wonder if this was helpful... xD
Rachel <3

I like this poem but......... somewhere I think you should think on this points -
* Try to use more poetic words.
* Don't write so short sentences in a long content poem, but if you are then use words that are more attractive and simple.
* Try to focus on the punctuations and you need not to apply the same in every stanza.

Somehow, it's your creation and even I liked it to some extent !!!

Have a great day !!!
(And you can follow me on Sayantan4119).Thank you !!!!

This is Yams here for a review!

My main thing with this poem is that each stanza is really repetitive. And not in a very good way in my opinion. Each stanza has the same pattern and the same line length. It goes, comma, comma, comma, period. Each time for grammar. There is no variation in the poem with line length and each stanza is only a few words.

You aren't giving us much of an image in the poem. It's blunt, without description and without figurative language. You could've described more in how it drove you mad with making every word meaningful.

You don't have to capitalize every beginning of each line either.

You can vary the line length, the punctuation, the description, it doesn't all have to be the same.

All in all I felt very underwhelmed by this poem because of what it could've been.

Have a great day!

I like how this peom shows the different feelings of waiting on a clock. From boredom and impatience, to Nervousness and just plain ol' patients. Not to mention this is probably how everyone feels when even reading this peom.
The five feelings of waiting on time.