Heya, Eevee! Casanova here to do a review! Before I take a complete half-hour break I'm going to review your one lyric that I see in here so I can do all your poetry at one time. Since lyrics are something I know a bit, I'm not going easy this time 
Anyway, to the review!
The rhyme scheme is choppy and off putting. I don't know how mixing it up helps, but you do you. I would suggest doing an easy rhyme scheme for this, considering the topic. Something like an AABBCC rhyme scheme would prove effective. As it stands, your rhyme is everywhere and nonexistent in places. Fix it.
The next thing I would like to point out is flow. It's the same one, over and over and over again. In singing we rarely come across a song that has the same flow. The same beat? Yes, all the time. But flow is important in grasping your viewers. When I sang this in my head it seemed a bit dull, so I would suggest posting the backtrack if you have one. If this was written in your head I suggest using better punctuation if you want to show your flow, if a fast melody isn't what you were going for.
As for the imagery and things- I won't be touching on that considering the subject matter. If it wasn't a fandom lyric, I would be all over it.
The next thing I'd like to say is the switching. You speak of seasons one, three, four, and five. But you don't speak of season two. Why? If you don't like it, say so. If you do, say so. But at the moment you have nothing on it. I would suggest changing that since this is a fandom post.
Anyway, that's all I have to say on this. I"ll be breaking then continuing with your portfolio.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Your friend, Cassy
Points: 3571
Reviews: 624
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