Dear God,
I've discovered that people
are just like windows.
The perfect ones are plain
and completely see through.
But stained glass windows
are made beautiful through their cracks and colors,
things forced upon them.
The more they are cut,
the more detailed and complex they are.
People are like windows because if they are warped,
they are special and interesting.
It's a privilege to watch life through them.
The one last thing that makes people like windows
is that it's terrifying
to watch them
shatter.
Love, a window.
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139,907 Literary Works • 672,732 Reviews
Heya, Eevee! Casanova here to do one final review for you! This is the only thing left in your portfolio I haven't reviewed, so I'm hurrying to get it out of the way so I can finish up and go to the green room. To the review!
Over all, I love one thing. Your window imagery. It's a lot stronger imagery than what I'm used to seeing from you, and you don't do the shopping list of wants and feelings. You describe what you want very well, and I only have a couple of nitpicks to do.
This is just my take on it, but no one is perfect making this line a bit incorrect. I can see why you put this in there, and I give you props for creativity, but it's something I would have left out considering I find flaws in everything, even if it's seemingly perfect. Change or don't change. You could say,"The fake ones," or something like that, but you build your stronger images off this idea so I won't touch too much on it.
Again, I see why you put this in there. But, from what I've seen, the more a window is cut the smaller it gets. Because you cut the sides, and paint the outlying sections. But I see why you put this in here.
All in all I really like this poem, and I feel as if you're doing a lot better in it. So, props for that. That's all I have to say on this one, so I'm done now.
Keep on doing what you're doing, and keep on keeping on.
Your friend, Cassy
Hello, Godly here for a review and happy review day!
THIS IS AMAZING OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO CREATIVE. Ok excitement over, allow me to explain why I love this so much. The way you compare people to windows is new and creative but it works at the same time which is hard to do! I like how you talk about how the perfect person would be completely see through. I can see what you are getting at here - a perfect person is impossible so the idea is a transparent one - just like a normal window. On the other hand a normal person and others are more like stained glass as there is so much too them that they are like a puzzle of colours and they all have their own story. You also show how people get more notice if something is different with them as we humans are desperate for an interesting world rather than a plain one. But we forget the more normal ones as they are seemingly boring. However, they too have their own colourful set of decorations in their character - just concealed from the world. The ending was incredibly impactful as well. I really like the idea that we are terrified to see something break as it shows that we aren't invincible to change and just the slightest tap can sometimes shatter us so easily. Love is a window, it's warped, interesting and colourful. But just one hit from anything and it can break into a million pieces.
Overall a favourite of mine and I look forward to seeing more of your pieces!
Keep writing,
All the best,
Godly
Thank you
Hey EverWinter! Geoff here, happy to review at this late hour. ^w^
First off I'm not entirely sure if this was meant as a religious poem, (yes I know the first line should be a tip off but I'm not 100% sure so I will not assume the remaining percent) but in this review I won't address the religious aspect much if at all. This keeps things straightforward and I will focus plenty on the writing aspects and message.
Great, now that I got that disclaimer out of the way, let's get down to it!
First impressions: I love. :0 This was great! I love metaphors and similes and comparisons in writing and this just resonated. It was great! I love the comparison of plain to stained glass windows! I think what you write is in many ways very true, but that's just my opinion so I'll leave it as that. :>
Grammar-wise your commas started seeming rather sporadic and unpredictable. The first half(ish) of your work is sparsely punctuated, merely with periods. The second bit though is full of commas. I don't know whether that is something you did on purpose or messed up like I often do where I accidentally power through the end and forget to spot check. Either way it's just something I noticed. Maybe you could space out the punctuation in a way that seems more purposeful? Though to be honest I don't know exactly how you'd do that as grammar is by far not my forte.
Message-wise I loved it. It was great and the descriptors you used were very potent. Maybe if you want to edit the line that starts
It just seems abrupt, like you had an idea and tacked it on the end. It sounds great, don't get me wrong, just maybe you could make the transition a little smoother.
Overall, I thought this was a very solid work! Or shall I say werk. :>
Enjoy the rest of your day/night!
-Geoff