Addiction

Hi! Thought I'd drop in for a quick review.

This poem is so beautiful and relevant! I loved it! The words were crystal-clear and flowed softly like water.

Moving on, I did not notice any grammatical errors as such. As gxldencrxwns said, the poem's power and beauty would be enhanced if punctuation marks were added at the appropriate places and the poem was divided into stanzas. You may not want to do that on purpose and I can totally understand that. I did not notice any spelling mistakes and stuff.

Now coming to the actual content of the poem. The title of your poem "Addiction" is very quaint and attracts the reader towards it. Initially, I had assumed that the poem would be about your fight with drugs or something, but, when I read those poetic words, I realized that it was more of a metaphorical representation of the tolerance towards an abusive relationship due to blind passion and love. Drugs and booze symbolize abuse and broken strings while the last four lines (which happen to be my favorite) are a personification of the abused lover and her patient, selfless love. The latter ends the poem on a high note. Emotions and feelings were expressed in a very poetic and personified way through this literary piece. The flow of words was seamless and smooth. Overall, this was an outstanding and flawless work. Keep it up!

Hello FairyLight!

I quite enjoyed this poem. Love can sometimes be difficult yet oddly wonderful. I, too, have felt such feelings, so this spoke to me on a deep level. I really felt the pain and love involved.

I think that some small punctuation could enhance the emotion. Nothing speaks volumes like a period at the end to make a point or a comma that gives the reader a ledge to hold onto. Just my opinion, as I do understand the style and the reason that there is no need for punctuation. I loved this wholeheartedly.

Keep writing,
EmoBear

Hello FairyLight,

This poem spoke to me, as someone who has lived through an experience similar to what you paint here. It seems to me to be an abusive relationship (or at the very least, an unhealthy one) by which the speaker allows herself to be absorbed.

This has grit to it; there is a disjointed and caliginous quality to the way it reads that is intriguing. Unlike your previous reviewer, I enjoyed your stylistic choices, in regards to your lack of separate stanzas, and the lack of punctuation.

I particularly enjoyed...

"His eyes full of whiskey

His words full of smoke"


and...

"My lungs fill with smoke

My heart fills with booze"


My only gentle suggestion is to perhaps take a look at this line...

"And after another"

I wasn't sure what this referred to. Another look?


Lastly, I am not sure if this is a fictional piece, but if you are involved in a relationship like that which you describe, please recognize the signs of abuse, and reach out if you need help. It can be a difficult thing to even recognize clearly, let alone discuss, but know that you are not alone.

Overall, I though this was solid work FairyLight! If I can answer any questions, feel free to drop me a PM.

Write On,
mav


Mavis Knightley
www.mavisknightley.weebly.com

Hello, FairyLight! Gxldencrxwns here for a review on your lovely piece!

I just have to say, I loved this! This is the second-third poem I've read about things like this, and I enjoy them very much. The vibe I'm getting is that the main character is in an abusive relationship, but the main character keeps coming back to the person abusing them.

I had only two complaints with this piece - they're not major, they can easily be fixed. I think this would be better if it had punctuation, such as commas and periods. If it was a stylistic choice not to include them, then I understand. Also, I think separation stanzas would be appropriate. In my opinion, it would be easier to go along with. Again, if it was a stylistic choice, then I understand.

Well, that's the end of this review. I'm sorry for not having much to say, because I didn't find anything wrong with it! Have a nice morning/day/night, and keep writing!
~gxldencrxwns