You weren't worth anything
And nobody ever said
That we loved you
You know it was true
That you were "too young"
It didnt matter
How much you tried
And cared
And knew
Everybody around you noticed
When you tried changing
Everything
Completely pointless
When you left
The world was still
(Read backwards now)
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,011 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
Lovely.
Thanks Waff :3
Oh my gosh. I read this form too to bottom and was like eh I kind of get it but not really it could have been better. Then I read it and it all came together and I'm totally blown away. I only wish I had half your talent, I've actually never seen a two way poem before so this was a great expireimce. Sorry that this wasn't very constructive but I hope it helped in one way or another.
-Kat
Thank you :3
Hey, EverWinter! It's Artemis28 for a quick word here.
I love the idea of this poem. I've seen these types before, the ones you read backwards and change into a completely different meaning. They're called palindromic poems, in case you didn't know. There are a few online, and they've used tactics like you (such as in the second line, where you use the phrase "And nobody ever said." That's used a lot in palindromic poems.).
However, the idea was completely new, and I liked it a lot. It was inspiring. There is only one grammatical nitpick, where the line says "It didnt matter". There should be an apostrophe.
Other than that, there was nothing to say. Good job on this!
XOX,
Artemis28
Thank you for the help! I did edit the typos in punctuation
daaaaaaaamn duuuuuuuuude
XD
Hello Remington38 here for a reveiw! It's a pleasure meet you
Honestly this was really cool!!!!
When I saw it the first time, the the second I just wanted to keep rereading it. I love how it goes from the two thought processes. Going from the broken down but then the building back up and it matches the physical structure of the poem. It was really creative and I loved that it was something new. We have a lot of poems like this, which isn't a bad thing and I enjoy it, but it is really nice to see something new. I really liked this and you are a really talented writer.
Review time!
I enjoy this type of poem, and I'll admit, it hit me hard.
I have been in this case of anxiety leading into suicidal thoughts, and it's a good thing that you aren't considering these thoughts, seeing you were talking about reading it again, down to up.
Just, if you do ever feel that way, be careful and safe, alright?
Keep your writing up!
Heya, Winter! I've never reviewed this style of poetry before, but I guess I"ll give it a shot! I normally do this by listing the good(if any, and in my opinion), then the bad(if any, and in my opinion), and then I conclude. Haha! I guess let's get to the review, shall we!
Anyway, I'm going to review one way then the other.
The first thing I noticed was in the first line. "Werent," should be,"Weren't." This automatically caught me off guard. Pay attention to your punctuation when writing this on a separate document and double check it. It doesn't take away from the poem itself- it just makes an eye sore to see a really good poem with a careless flaw such as this.
One thing that bugged me was the switch of tense in the second and third lines.
"And nobody ever said
That we loved you"
With,"Nobody," being in the former line and,"we," being in the latter it's a bit confusing. "We," is first person whereas,"nobody," isn't. I think it would be preferred to change,"we," to they. The same thing goes for the next line- as throughout the poem you also use,"everybody," but mainly use,"you." switching the,"we's," to,"they," in my opinion would help with this- as it seems a bit off.
The only other thing I could say about this is the lack of imagery. There isn't any. Which was a bit disappointing because it's extremely emotional- but for what it was you really pulled it off. So props for that.
Anyway, I hope this helped any at all.
Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.
Your friend- Matthew Casanova Aaron <3
I love this kind of poetry, and you executed this one really well. Great job
Hello,
This is the 1st time am reading two way poem, and am quite amazed.
Good work!
EverWinter I really liked this poem. I think you did an amazing job with writing it!
Hello.
Two way poems are exceptionally difficult, so props for trying. I understand there had to be some simplicity just to get something two way, so I'm not going to get on the language too much.
One part I feel this piece fell down was here:
Reading it both forward and backward, I couldn't really get a meaning out of it. If it made sense forward it'd be one thing, but the fact it doesn't work either forward or backward for me points to this being a rework point.
The main thing that rubbed me the wrong way was how I don't know what "everything" is supposed to belong to. It can either be "when you tried changing everything" or "everything completely pointless". And the thing is, neither of the previous lines make sense without "everything". "Completely pointless" doesn't have any root without "everything", and "when you tried changing" doesn't really have a solid piece to hold onto without "everything."
I think a big thing about this confusion is the lack of punctuation. Because we have nothing telling our eyes what to look at and what goes together, you end up with the ambiguity I highlighted before. Even though I mostly focused on that section, I felt this sense of everything floating and forced throughout.
Topic-wise, I'm not sure what to make of this. It feels borderline victim blaming, where there's somebody who believes one thing and then the poem says "no, that didn't happen" when feelings are there for a reason. While it makes sense in context and it reflects the two sides of situations like this, it could probably be handled a tiny little bit better so it's not invalidating at the same time as it's explaining what's going on.
So, all in all, this was rough. Hard structure to follow, but because of the lack of punctuation, it was nearly impossible to generate meaning out of the end. The meaning could probably use some ironing out, as well.
Hope this helps. Let me know if you have any questions or comments.
~Rosey