Did you know, little one

Heya, Eevee! Casanova here to do another review! I'll be taking this stanza by stanza, so let's get to it. To the review!

First off I have to say you went at this one a bit different than you have your other poems. You have a bit of emotion here, and you go a bit in depth. You answer your questions, and you let us see what you want us to see. Progress. But, there's always room for improvement.

Did you know little one,

There's so much you haven't done

Did you ever stop to think

Who you want to become

You want to make a difference

You want people to remember

That you were here today

And you will last forever

When tears fill your eyes

And you feel so forgotten

You'll know then that

You won't get what you wanted

You won't get that adventure

You can't be immortal

That's when the light will fade

And innocence will fall

But does it really matter

What the world may see?

Did you ever stop and think

That you matter to me?

Hi! I'm here to leave a review!

Wow... That's all I really have to say. This poem is incredibly touching and beautiful. It is incredibly relatable. The message is incredible and something I think everyone needs to read. The way you conveyed a "child/parent" or "apprentice/mentor" relationship immediately with the line, "Did you know little one" gave a warm and fuzzy feel to the entire poem. I loved the relationship the narrator had with the audience! Also, I enjoyed how you started out positive, when negative in the beginning, but brought the reader back up in the last two lines was really creative.

As for your writing itself, it is very easy to read and flows incredibly! It gets your point across in such a simple way, it is very creative and very intelligently written. Everything flows very well with the four line stanzas with around seven syllables in each line. My favorite part about this poem, and most poems that do this, is the repetition of the third line in the first stanza in the last stanza. You changed "to" to "and", which, personally, I would change for consistency, but that's up to you. I would keep it "Did you ever stop to think" since that seems to flow better with the rest of the poem.

One question I have is, are you trying to have a rhyme scheme? In the first stanza you appear to rhyme line one and two (and possibly four?), but rhyming doesn't appear anywhere else in the poem until the fifth stanza with lines two and four. If you are trying to follow a rhyme scheme, I would make that a little more present throughout the poem (possibly AABC). If not, try to change the wording around in that first paragraph to avoid rhyming. Again, with the repetition, if you want to rhyme with that, keep it consistent. In the last stanza, you rhymed lines two and four. Try rhyming lines two and four in the first stanza to keep it consistent.

Overall, I absolutely loved your poem! I hope I could help. Keep writing!

I love this.

Those are words I almost never say.

Anyway, I love how short this is. It strikes the point your trying to make home. The poem is easy to read, the message you send is great especially because I personally think its true. I love the way you write, the language you use flows so smoothly and the last sentence is, to be honest, unexpected which in any other circumstance would be confusing but in this context fits right in. I love the style of which you write in all the way down to the little design you use for the breaks. Your rhyme scheme works very well (more on that later) and I like the way you rhyme wherever it is appropriate to rather than just sticking to a rhyme scheme.

There are some flaws however. I don't think the second to last stanza fits very well. The lines there don't really scan and I think that although it cant be cut entirely without having to rewrite more of the poem, I think you can simply reword it.

Hopefully this makes sense. I'm tired.

I was going to review this but ugggghhh. It's soooooo goooooooooood and relatable. If you ever need someone to talk to Ever you know I'm always here read to listen <3 We all get sad, I think you know from listening to me mop all day, every day but no one deserves to be alone when they are sad (that's how you get depressed, I know from experience).

Love you <3
Rachel, the friend here to listen