Here I stand watching
For the fate that will come
But constantly eludes my grasp.
So I stand my watch blindly,
Grope along unfeelingly,
Believe so faithlessly,
Battle so hopelessly,
Run nowhere recklessly,
Until my soul screams,
"No more!"
Then I will watch
And feel
And believe
And fight
And run
Until the Son returns and says,
"No more."
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137,563 Literary Works • 672,044 Reviews
Wow, I really enjoyed this. It’s short but clear! You have written it really well and the flow of it is good, so well done to that
The message is very powerful and full of emotion.
I really no expert on poems so sorry about this review, I don’t really have any improvements for you but I think beccalicious94 covered everything anyway.
Well done and keep writing
Chels
This piece is very beautiful and very good!! I loved reading it, because it was so full of passion and this is my absolute favorite part of your poem!!
I loved reading your poem, great topic,too. I don't really have anything to nitpick, because the person before me practically said all that I saw!! Anyway, keep writing!!!
I really like this poem. It's succinct, but I understand exactly what you are trying to say. The only thing that was a weird read was "But constantly eludes my grasp" because it came after "came" so I didn't know what the "but" was doing there and what eluded your grasp. The struggle with faith is one of the most difficult ones we have to grapple with, but the most rewarding. I deal with it myself almost everyday unfortunately. Good luck, and keep writing!