Young Writers Society

Hello, @EtCetera! Though you will likely not see this review, here I am to write it!

I love the Auld English and Romanesque diction used in your poem. I personally think that this poem could be related to the betrayal of a close friend or lover as the narrator is apparently heartbroken.

I must wonder if the "Man on the Tree" is a religious connection to Jesus on the Cross. Often in literature, the Cross is referred to as a "Tree," and I remembered that as I thought about the meanings and implications of this poem.

Have a nice [*insert time of day here*]!!!

Some of this confused me a little but I'm still absolutely awe-struck. I really enjoyed this, the flow was great, the descriptions painted a clear and vivid picture in my mind, and the wording was terrific. Great job and good luck on your future writes.

Sometimes the absence of commas can hinder the flow rather than make it more evident, but for this poem that is not the case. I appreciate the deep cynical attitude and old-timey language used. The stanza where you hinted on sadness and regret stood out amidst the bitter tone in the rest of the poem. I look foward to reading more of your work. Bravo! PM me or post on my profile if you need anything

If you check out several of my poems, this not having commas issue has risen more than once. I absolutely despise commas in poetry, so don't take it personally when I don't change it. Thank you very much for the review, though. Oddly enough, I never knew how I felt about this poem.

Okay. I'm o.o here to review. So first off, I gotta say I think you put a lot of work on this poem, like... you didn't sleep or eat three months just to finish it and make it look this... *can't find the word* amazing, awesome, cool, stunning, spectacular? WOW! The emotion in this poem stands out in shocking way. I'm just speachless.


Nitpicks:

Now, I notice you put periods, but your poem lacks commas. I think it should be punctuated like this:

EtCetera wrote:Be cursed, cruel world#FF0000 ">,
Suffer in thy despair#FF0000 ">.
Thine deeds have become#FF0000 ">-
Far too evil to repair.

I damn ye to the depths#FF0000 ">-
Of Hell's fiery lake#BF0000 ">,
Where thy evil mind can know#FF0000 ">-
The pain of true heartbreak.

The only fate I'll regret#FF0000 ">,
In not saving thee#FF0000 ">,
Is seeing the grieving tears#FF0000 ">-
Of the Man on the Tree.

EtCetera wrote:Proinde est ultimatum.

Yes, the language at the end of the poem is Latin. If there's anyone who knows much about Latin, feel free to help me out. I just went online and kind of figured it out. The translation is "So is the ultimatum," so if there's anyone out there with access to legit Latin grammar, I would be very happy to have your pointers and corrections.