Simplicity

I love this. This is absolutely by far my favorite poem out of all the ones I've read! Sorry, but I really can't think of anything to say other than it's extremely well written. Awesome job!

Howdy, etc! I'm Walker, here to review this piece of work so I hope you dont mind!

And first, might I start off with that you have quite the clever concept with this piece! The fact that you title it simplicity, have it about simplicity, than write it in a simplistic tone was surprising and refreshing. That was interesting to a degree so I give you thumbs up for that!

But, I find poetry to be something that should show not only a story or meaning but should also be hard. Its not supposed to be something easy thats takes a few minutes to jot up. Time has to be spent on it. Thoughts have to be inquired on. Your vocabulary should come out of it being even stronger, if anything else. And most of all, poetry is the way of putting forth something wonderful in a manner that isn't prose. It should be this effortless flow of imagery and diction. The image should be so striking that one would remember it after having read it. So beautiful that it takes more than one read to truly grasp the concept. Poetry is harder than prose on so many different levels.

Thats why I'm going to have to say that this was a little weak. I know the point you were trying to get across and I understand that you wanted to show simplicity, but there is a way where simplicity as a topic will come out with an exponentially larger diction. You don't need to restrain from the beauty of words for any reason at all.

That and the fact you say that simplicity isn't simple. Then show us. A poem is supposed to show what you want to put forth. If not its merely a quote or statement. Here you just kind of list things off than give this amazing one liner of which is followed up by dead space. You could have put so much into that. So, inspiration wise, I understand where you are coming from in theory, but the output was weak. Like I said, start letting those gears of yours turn. Make the connections in your mind before you start jumbling random, pretty sounding lines on paper. I want to see a little more from you and this.

And lastly, don't use the word simple so much. It loses its sting. You want to make that sting in the end so keep your vocabulary ever changing whether it be difficult or not.

~Walker

I really like this poem is good and simple.
The words give a good vibe of rythem,
and kinda remind me of simple times,
so I give you two thumbs up.

-SGP Poetry

p.s keep writing