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139,467 Literary Works • 672,571 Reviews
I really enjoyed this, it describes exactly how I'm feeling at the moment. Anyways, I like the flow and the way everything sounds together. You did a beautiful job wording it. The descriptions were wonderful, they painted a clear and vivid picture in my mind. Great job and good luck on your future writes.
I really like this poem. Very deep. You might even say, abyssal! haha, see what I did there? I especially like the dramatic irony of the title VS content. With an abyss, and the words you've used in the poem, you paint a picture of something deep, endless, and dark. But the poem itself is short and ends quickly. That's a pretty cool juxtaposition. I'm not sure if you intended it, but feel free to take credit! haha
I especially like the last line. Wondering if I will ever hit the bottom...very cryptic and cool! I'm afraid of falling, cause it's so scary and powerless. You can't do yourself any favors, you can't really do anything. It's just...falling. Ooooh, chills!
Anyway, I think this is a cool poem, and you have a good idea here. If there's any punctuation or improvements to be made, I'm sure they've already been picked out, and I'm just saying what I like. Well, if you ever want another review or some advice or what not, I'm always open for PMs and such!
- SOCKS
Better anyone?
Hi, I'm Forti(:
I agree with what has been said, formatting this to the center would improve this piece. One question:
What is with the red font, is that emphasizing something that I'm completely unaware of?
Also, this piece is short and simple. Other that one spelling error that has already been corrected, I say thumbs up!
Only your punctuation (and the already mentioned, format) is lacking here.
Lies open before me
Its darkness
Infinite
Inpenetrable (impenetrable)
I fall into the shadowed depths
Wondering
If I will ever hit the bottom
Other then that, again well done!
Keep writing,
~FW~
Yeah I definitely agree wuth Amelia, putting it in the center of the page ans spacing it out would have a stronger effect than being pushed together to the side. I really liked this and there were no grammatical errors so yeah, well done and keep it up xD
- Spook
Hi! I'm not stalking you, honestly. I'm just reviewing things with no comments! I liked this piece. It was short, simplistic, and dramatic. No gramatical errors I can spy, so well done. One thing I would say to make this more effective is layout. Try something like follows:
Lies open before me
Its darkness
Infinite.
Impenetrable.
I fall into the shadowed depths
Wondering
If I will ever hit the bottom
This kind of layout, in my opinion, really adds to the otherwise few plain lines on a page. The spaces ect, in effect, portray the words you have said. I'm not sure really how to explain what I mean. But anyways, well done
~ Amelia