1st of Airflamed
23rd year of the Phoenix
Diaries recovered from Naesaen Fires
I was born as princess Einellith, youngest daughter of Oethon and Sanilorrah. I also had an older sister, Lyssene, but of her I will write later.
My parents died when I was three, so I barely remember them. All I know about them comes from the memories of other people. They say that he was tall and dark, always with a mischievous glint in his eye and a royal manner about him, while my mother was tall and slim with the sharpest temper around. They say that my parents where an ambitious pair, because even though as cousins of the King they held a high position at court, they always wanted more: more money, higher status, new titles… -They wanted more of everything. They where just too ambitious for their own good, as it later turned out.
For years everyone told me that they died by the cause of some disease in the Korint Empire, where they went as Aereinod’s envoys. I accepted that version without comment, simply because even though they where who they where to me, I felt indifference towards them, if not nothing. For me they were scarcely silhouettes of people, forms of myths and forgotten memories. I never gave them a spare thought, if I could help it. I just didn’t care. My world was Forlin and then later Ravenlair, my governess and my servants and their children, with an occasional visit from Lyssene. It was the latter who cared for my finances and made sure I had everything that I needed. I think that over years I made up some kind of picture of her, a picture of what I wanted her to be. I suppose that she loved me in some way, I was her only family, but when the stakes in the game equaled the throne, even family didn’t matter. My picture contrasted with the one of the reality. –But of that later.
You see now my parents meant nothing to me. The feeling turned into some kind of amusement when I found out that it was them who stated this whole circus, this rat’s race for the throne. They of course did not die by disease, though they did end their days in the Korint Empire. I imagine what the Emperor felt when he found out that a fire broke out in my parent’s chambers. -No, not in my parent’s chamber, but in the chamber of important envoys of Aevlyth.
To this day I do not know how Areinod did it. I assume that he set the fire by the Magemasters’ help, though he was very cautious not to leave any trail that would connect him with Oethon’s and Sanilorrah’s deaths, though when Isothath and Athani come in that is obvious. –Nothing but gossip about how two of the King’s biggest problems disappeared just after they went out of favor because they did something that the King, who closed an eye on everything else, could not ignore.
-But the unanswered question remained: what had they done? Speculation from tries of murdering the King in some way or of them allying themselves with the enemy county of Dynav where at no end and did not stop on the wildest of images; the scene seen by solely a manservant of my parents being practically thrown out of the King’s personal room after an hour long private audience inscribed itself deeply into the pages of Aevlythian history, though by the cause of the mentioned above manservant it remained private not one minute longer than it took him to discreetly pass the hall to the servant’s room. It was rumored that some lady was so positively delighted at the news that she started the loud wave of applause at some party or another, into which joined in most of the nobles that made Aereinod’s court. My parent were not well liked.
The public version was that Korintian demonstrators protesting against an allegiance with Aevlyth, with the help of some mage or other, just got rid of their main problem. Some unfortunate man, a baker, I think, was publicly hanged on the gallows under the charge of setting with premeditation a fire in which two people died , while his ‘associates’, under the same accusation, died not long after in the dampest of the dungeons of the Korintian Castle. -Poor fellows.
I feel no grudge towards Areinod; I suppose that he had to do it. Everyone would choose that option in his position. -Everyone should. I would, at least, and every sensible ruler will probably share my opinion. I would kill them ten times and ten years before if that would help prevent the events that would later take place. Twenty, if need be.
-As I said, my parents where very ambitious. Always aiming high, stopping at nothing, ignoring risks, they set off scandal by scandal, but as they were Aereinod’s favorites, on whom the King always look down at with some kind of mild amusement, they where untouchable, and of that immunity they made good use.
Well, one day they stepped a step too far: they where not contended with a dukedom, they where not contented with the privileges that came with being a member of the Royal Family. They where not satisfied solely because of the fact that there was someone above them, someone who at any moment could say stop and then they would have to stop whatever they where doing.
A couple years later after their death, thirteen years later, to be exact, two months before my coronation, I found out that the most popular of the rumors that made my parents a living legend was true.
Murder. Poison, to be exact.
Ah… Here starts the tale of my so ever charming family. A fascinating and mesmerizing lot, with me among them, to say the truth. –So deadly fascinating.
Coming back to the topic, my parents came to the conclusion that life would be better without the ever butting in Areinod. I have no idea what role played by sister, of course not in the murder itself but the giving out in handfuls evidence of our parent’s guilt. -Knowing her, it was a big one. After all, she did inherit a dukedom and remained in the King’s good graces, which was a big accomplishment, considering the consequences. –Areinod usually banished the whole family if he found out during his long rule (three hundred years) that someone was trying their wits at playing a traitor.
So, my dear parents decided on using aehr, which was a rare plant known, among others, for it’s immediately results in the form of death poison. I should add that the only place where the aehr grows is the Lightgrove gardens. Ironically enough, the plant is also one of the many symbols of the Royal Family. –And where are supposed to be immune to it, as legend tells.
And so, after some time of preparation, my parents decided to act. –But the worked on for months plan, which included seemingly every unexpected event, did not anticipate one: that the King already knew. -Or guessed. I don’t know, it doesn’t really matter.
-Lyssene’s doing I should add. One does not need much intelligence to deduce that. Also, papers found in my sister’s study left no space for doubt.
My parents of course declined that they had anything to do with the ‘ghastly idea’, as my mother called it, and as the aehr mysteriously disappeared, there where no means of calling them on trial. As they where of Royal Blood, they had the right to not answer question under truth spells. Though out of favor, out of Aereinod’s good graces, they were still untouchable. So they where sent to the Korint Empire.
Where a fire broke out. Where and when nothing and no one could connect their death with Areinod.
You, my reader, might ask what happened to the vanished aehr. Truthfully, I do not know. –But what I do know for sure, is that the same aehr was used to poison the same king seven years later. Well, Irianne always had an imagination.
Even today, when I wake up in the dead of the night, savoring the only moment that I have for myself, questions of what would have happened if my father and mother hadn’t done it, hadn’t tried poison the King.
-Yes, what would have happened then?
You may be wondering what the above is about, and to tell you the truth I'm not blaming you, lol. I myself for a while had no idea.
Well, in one book I am writing two different thing, even if about one character. One (the last fragmen) is about time present and what is happening NOW. The second (this one) is Lillith's diary found years and years later.
Enjoy xD
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Thanks Sureal! I corrected all the spelling and grammar mistakes, thanks for pointing them out.

As to the first sentence... -You have no idea how much I modified it... I think I'll keep it, for now at least
Hello again
.
.
‘My parents died when I was three, so I barely remember them.’
- I think this cold work better as an opening than the first sentence (simply cos it does so much more to capture our attention). Maybe promote this to the first sentence of the story?
‘For me they scarcely silhouettes of people’
- I think you’re missing a word from here (such as ‘were’).
‘My picture deadly contrasted with the one of the reality’
- I think you have a syntax problem here. ‘Deadly contrasted’ doesn’t make sense to me
‘My parent were not weel liked.’
- ‘weel’ = ‘well’.
‘but as they where Aereinod’s favorites,’
- ‘where’ - ‘were’.
‘Thought out of favor,’
- ‘Thought’ = ‘though’.
Okay, I'll reread my work tomorrow, I don;t have the time now. (This post is for you to know I didn't ignore it, lol)
I would like to do an in depth critique of your work like you may have seen me do to others. I feel horrible that I cant when you have done it to my own work, but there is little t critique because the prose is in such a good, clear style.
However one thing I have picked up on, and I wont highlight every single one - you have a tendency to use run on sentences.
Example:
The public version was that Korintian demonstrators protesting against an allegiance with Aevlyth, with the help of some mage or other
This could be split up into several sentences in order to increase clarity in your work.
At times I was confused in the piece but maybe this will become clearer as you write more of the main story.
For now. Keep. Writing.
Corrected - thanks for telling me.
Ive just noticed a spelling error.
"Memories" not "memmories". (L2 P2)
Better?
hangs head* - I liked the names, lol.
I think the long names were a mistake. Make them shorter,so they don't take an hour to read.
However the way that the sentences were constructed put even the simplest of descriptions in a unusual but pleasant way.
Thank you Lilly and Phorcys for taking your time and writing a critique!
As to the first paragraph, I know it is a bit... well, uhm... weird... I'm curently taking all comments into consideration lol. Thanks again!
Yes, the first paragraph needs work. At the moment it isnt really pulling the reader into the chapter.
This bit doesnt make sense, just slice the last bit out before the final comma. It makes the sentence cumbersome. Or, rephrase it so it makes sense.
I like how you are clearly stating times in your chapters - this helps the reader to become unconfused and know exactly where you are going with your work.
An interesting first set of chapters, I enjoy watching a story unfold - especially when it has much potential.
Thank you very much for taking your time and reading this, I really do appreciate it.
Oooh, interesting. Especially that it was found years after what happened in your previous excerpt.
It's not the most gripping way to start... If they have to be that long, it might be better to give them later.
I don’t think it’s a good idea to have those really long names in the first sentence.
I don't think you need the second "that" (before tall and dark). Other than that, I liked these descriptions
It might be stronger and more grammatically correct to end the sentence after "court", and make the rest a separate sentence. Also, here and elsewhere, you use "where" when it should be "were".
You have "in his position" twice.
"Its", not "it's".