The Queen's Family - chapter one

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18th Watershone,

38th year of the Phoenix

Time present

“My story begins when that of your family ends…” The voice quoting those words was drastically different from Tanerah’s booming, conspiring tones. It was low, musical, and rather filled with bitterness and irony than bursting with melodramatics that so characterized seer. Tanerah's enthusiastic, self-assured manner would seem more at place than that of the young woman, whose dark thoughts were inevitably sinking deeper and deeper as she walked the long path of the King's passage. The figure flinched, hoping that that small sign of weakness would go unnoticed, but at the same time uncomfortably aware that that was impossible: they were their, all their eyes and attention on her and only her…

Many dreamed to be in her, Lillith’s, position, not quite sure what it meant, but were informed with on what came next: power. There where times when it was she herself who prayed to be where she was now… -But then... then those wishes where only daydreams on a boring lesson, without the slightest glimmer of hope that they were to someday come true.

The figure winced despite herself, knowing that it was because of those ‘many’ that she was where she was: Irianne… Enerin… Lyssene…. She closed her eyes and told herself firmly to stop thinking about those people. This was neither the moment, nor the place, that was for sure. –Especially the place.

The sixteen year old shuddered, resolutely making herself concentrate on the trees, animals, on nature in its purest form. –Animals? There were no animals. -Tonight, on this night only, they where all somewhere hidden, angry at the presence of strangers and waiting to be called with their guardians. The woman stifled a laugh, feeling panic rise up in her. What was there to laugh about? Determinedly, Lillith told herself to ignore the eerie, unnatural silence, the fact that the vapor that just a while ago was barely noticeable, now expanded to the size of a milky-white mist. She also tried to cast out of her memory and consciousness that tens of pairs of eyes observed her wearily, those of the people perched on the growing in direct neighborhood Pathway and looming over her trees, at a safe distance of her. There they where, all her nobles, all her friends and enemies, a whole variety of foreign envoys whose rulers had given them the task to represent them at the ceremony… There they where, the silhouettes of studied, blank faces, perfectly mindful that on each step she was getting close to either their greatest fear or final peace of mind…

What would happen, she suddenly wondered, if she won’t pass, if she wasn’t accepted by the Forest? The stubborn thought, so long cast out of her mind, came back at the slightest sign of the faltering of her will. What would happen if she died, or worse, came back with a crushed psychic, if the forest made her go insane? Her people would remember her as the younger sibling of her older sister, as the one who gained the most through the fight of Areinod’s heirs, as they where commonly called. She would be remembered as a person who had a chance, but was unable to use the occasion, toppling the country for the second time in ten years into a home war, leaving it on the mercy of her power-crazed nobility and the land-thirsty Korint Empire.

-She could still turn back.

She could, couldn’t she? The woman looked down at the most innocent-looking forest pathway, at the commonest mud soiling her shoes. Lillith turned her gaze upwards, up to her doom. The large, ancient oak that made the center of Ruthon Forest was getting closer and closer, its branches unnaturally still, though the comforting breeze that had so relaxed her a while ago turned into something stronger. Much stronger.

No, she couldn’t.

She was just to close to back up now. Were the myriad of sacrifices made not only by her, but by people who counted on her, had faith in her, meant to be ignored by history? Were her own actions, whether positive or negative, to be left without response? Was the death of Lyssene, as the ones of countless people before her, to be disregarded?

Every step was becoming harder and harder; weather it was the fault of her weakening by every second will or because of the cursed red ceremonial gown that effectively limited her moves, the woman didn’t know. Once again she spared a quick glance at her sides: there they where, sitting comfortably on both sides of the Pathway, hid under the enormous trees that consisted of the Ruthon Forrest, hid so flawlessly, that only their eyes glinted in the darkness. Spies who called themselves envoys, here under pretext to pay tribute to her when this was over, watching her every move, her every falter, trying to decide whether she was to be they prey or the predator for their rulers. They sat amongst her nobility, her private allies and enemies, all whose future was to resolve in a few minutes... On occasion such as these Lillith was willing to accept Aereinod’s heirs’ decision to ignore this part of the coronation.

-But she… she could not go in their steps. She could not commit their mistake. She had to secure her position, make sure that no one would have the right to question her being on the throne. After all, wasn’t that what she did to Lyssene?

-And did she deserve any better?

-My lady?- Athani and Isothath suddenly appeared at both of her sides. The girl winced and made herself look upwards: the moment she dreaded and that made her wake up with a shrill scream in the middle of the night was so very, very close…

-My lady?- repeated Athani. In the Magemasters’s usually cool, unnaturally calm voice appeared a note of well-hidden urgency.

The center of all the commotion flinched in spite of herself when she looked in Athani’s eyes. They where hard and cold, seeming to peer into her soul, as if they could see her every fear and dread. Isothath’s gaze was not better, icy beads of eyes looking down at her with mild interest, as if she where another uncommon animal in the Palace Zoo. Maybe she was. Gods help her, for them she probably was.

-Yet they helped her. Helped her prepare, gave her advice… Why? Why did they do it? Certainly not because they had to; during Irianne’s, and later Enerin’s and Naellorah’s reign they just disappeared from public view, ignoring pleas and private demands to go back to court. During Lyssene’s rule, however… The woman took a deep breath, grinding her teeth, thinking about how it was the Magemasters’ that assisted her when see needed her sister out of the way.

Lillith shivered and closed her eyes.

She turned her gaze away and made herself nod a curt nod, clenching her hand into fists so hard that her nails cut through her skin.

She reached the Oak, the Heart of Aevlyth. There was no return now. Magical bonds of the Forest’s power rooted her to her spot, making it impossible to make the slightest move. A precaution?

She bit her lip as she heard the two Magic’s fall into some kind of a trance, chanting words in the Lost Tongue, words which even for her emanated with power and strength. The words steadily grew louder, from a whisper to tones that seemed to echo in the whole of Ruthon Forest.

The Magemasters’, hand to hand, closed their eyes, calling everyone who swore in blood or soul the Oath made hundreds of years ago. Brother and sister once again repeated their summons, at which time the audience made up of nobles and envoys discretely backed out to a safer distance, to the place where magical portals where stationed. The party, at a sign from the Magemasters’, would go through them back to Avhydlyi and the Palace, to await the arrival of the hopefully new Queen.

At some point the two mages stopped chanting and started drawing glittering in the moonlight magical borders, separating themselves from the getting more and more giddy with every passing moment woman, who was in vain trying not to look as nervous as she was. -Years of hiding emotions crushed, shattered into pieces in the face of Ruthon and its inhabitants.

Slowly, in hushed voices, the Forest answered. -Answered through the singing lips of half-mortals, through dryads which inhabited and protected the trees, through nymphs who looked after numerous pools and lakes, through spirits who cared for the soil and animals. Humming the ancient song sang from the earliest ages, the Forest re-established pacts given hundreds of years ago.

They, the Living Forest, emerged from the shadows of trees, barely stomping on emerald green grass and leaving no footprints on the damp soil, a ceremony of animals in their stead. They came as part milky white mist, so that barely their silhouettes and shining large eyes, some childishly naďve while others with a mischevious glint in them could be seen; others materialized out of perfectly solid tree trunks, first as colorless outlines of pale faces and whitish attire that at the next moment were to be astonishingly colored by an outstanding mixture of greens, browns, red, oranges and yellows. Intelligent, observant eyes gazed from under ebony black or auburn red hair, with aureoles of leaves and acorns attached to the more wild curls. Water nymphs, effortlessly swimming towards the bank of the Yellow Lake, placed directly behind the Heart, watch seemingly without interest, if not with indifference. Though only a only some where chosen to be present at the gathering, the now shining brightly moon made few turn into many by mirroring their slender figures in the green murky waters. Dazzlingly tinted slim tails ended with a webbed fin flicked in greeting as they exchanged unspoken welcomes among each other. The presence of those, who could not be seen by mortal or half-mortal eyes, but who guarded and protected Ruthon, was felt by everyone in attendance as a slight shudder down the backbone or cool breeze which was followed by some kind of warmth.

Among them settled the animals and part animals. Grayish wolves with eerie yellow pupils contented themselves by sitting in packs off to one side, eyeing the shining white orb of the full moon, whereas cunning golden-brown foxes showed no interest in their own race whatsoever and scarcely bothered a curt nod at one another. Darting quick glances everywhere with much too big for them acorns in paws where squirrels, feeling for once safe on the forest floor. Their companions, chipmunks and rabbits, talked animatedly, gesticulating vigorously. Bats, flapping their wings noisily while flying from one group to another, at the same time performed acrobatic shows, earning themselves applauses and praises from the jamboree below. Silent owls balanced on the more lonesome branches, from where they had a good view on everything. Fauns and werewolves, the latter with haunted black eyes stood as still as stones, while chirping birds, colorful nightingales among them, perched comfortably on them. Other, some bloodcurdling whilst others hilarious in presence, indescribable beings leaned casually on the massive trees, while some preferred to stand or sit somewhere, where they could be barely seen.

This was a night of peace and tranquility, nothing differed prey and victim, both of whom savored the humanity which they had willingly relented for roughly carefree and untroubled by human burdens lives. Friendships, which normally had no means of succeeding, where being tied with doubled strength – everyone was squabbling friendlily, conversing, and getting up to date with the spiciest news before the coming of dawn when life came back into its normal cycle.

Slowly, the Magemasters’, apparently feeling that they had done their task, withdrew back to the aristocrats and emissaries with complete calmness, the opposite state of in which was the young woman standing in the middle of the myriad of creatures.

They left.

The curtain, separating her from the outer world was drawn, and it was not in her power to open it. Lillith appeared to be the only elve in the whole, dark Ruthon Forest, with currently no means of changing the situation.

–Everything is going to be fine, - she muttered to herself under her breath. –Everything is going to turn out just fine…-

Automatically, as always when speaking to more than to people, she straightened and took a deep breath. She had the feeling that something was supposed to happen, that she was to wait for something. –But what was that something? Nothing was happening, and the animals in the woods continued to ignore her, while the half-mortals stared at her with some kind of polite interest and…. What was it? -Amusement?

-Eh… Excuse me…- No one paid any notice to her. –Excuse me!-

A few heads turned towards her, some with genuine surprise, as if they had not realized she was there. A badger elbowed his neighbor, a raccoon, a little too hard, and in consequence the latter toppled over. Before the event had a chance to turn into a regular first, or rather paw fight, one of the dryads flowed over, smiling kind of… eerily. The two animals at once started to behave themselves.

As all expectant eyes where on her, all of the sudden, a strange feeling overwhelmed her… As if something had gone terribly wrong, not at all as it was supposed to… The animals and half-mortals seemed to sense it to, because as if on command they stopped talking, squabbling and chattering, -or most of them, at least. Even in the most hallow eyes of the water nymphs appeared a spark of interest, masking a flash of fear. Noiselessly, everyone stood up to attention, not knowing what was happening. The unnatural silence hung in midair for a stretched into minutes second or two, before the coming of a cracking thunder. As light from the bolt unusually slowly reached even the darkest corners of Ruthon, the racket of an uproar began.

In the myriads of howling, screeching, shrieking, woofing, yowling, barking, yelling, chirping, hissing, roaring, growling, snarling and hooting, a laughter sounded, its source nowhere to be seen, echoing from tree to tree, making branches swish and crawl down the spine. Mirthless, it had a tinge of… evilness to it, though it did not appear to be angry, rather… pleased. The howling, screeching, shrieking, woofing, yowling, barking, yelling, chirping, hissing, roaring, growling, snarling and hooting stopped at once.

On the sky, between the shining for four two moons and shimmering with double strength stars, a face of a woman appeared. –No, it was not a woman. The features where much too beautiful and sharp for any mortal or half mortal, and the expression of outward mischievousness harmonized with black, ever-deep glittering eyes that showed cunningness and calculating more than anything less. -One would be a fool to look for pity, mercy, warmth, or kindness in them.

Slowly, out of the darkness, the coming nearer and nearer figure was becoming more and more recognizable. Soon, the outline of a slim frame of a beautiful she-demon could be seen, with sleek, ebony black hair and bat-like, wide-spanned wings in the color of the dead night, ended at the top corners with what looked liked shinning in the moonlight blades. -Very, very sharp blades. Her long, swishing behind her tail also was ended thus.

As she landed and folded her wings, Lenori, Goddess of the Night and Wrath, Mother of all Demons gave a gracious, if not apathetic nod, as if granting her leave to the assembly of mortal and half mortals. They, in return, muttered their respects while as quickly as possible dashing towards their homes. No one wanted to stay in the presence of Lenori for a moment longer than it was needed. Not that they would say that directly. The known for her high temper goddess could react rashly. Werewolves and other examples of darker beings who had a mind of their self lingered a bit longer, but they too vanished hastily, wanting to disappear from the she-demons sight. –Besides, their god was Avineus.

The goddess waited patiently for everyone to disappear, furrowed thin lines of brows at some earth sprite who decided that Lenori’s arrival was worth the risk that represented eavesdropping on the immortal. After the sprite, as the last, hurriedly disappeared from view, the goddess turned her attention to the stoned Lillith.

-Ah, and here is charming little Einellith, if I am correct. So nice to finally meet you, darling! I’m honored. The last time I saw you, you were still in your cradle! Yes…- the demon examined her for a moment, cocking her head of to one side,nevertheless doing it elegantly. Her voice, loud and clear, with a bit of a hiss in it, was just like her laugh, -dangerous. The same voice led to doom individuals and whole kingdoms, at its every whim and pout where countless of her children. -You are so the daughter of your mother. Yes… Sanilorrah was such and interesting mortal.- Something in Lenori’s ice-cold eyes made Lillith stop herself from contradicting Lenori that her mother was in fact a half-mortal, and asking what on Addi’s Kingdoms did Sanilorrah have to do with the known mostly for her wild temper goddess of the night?

-Thank you, my Lady…- Lily stammered out, fighting with all her mind the urge to take a step back, at the same time thinking feverishly. Lenori’s whole person made one start to stammer and stutter, to forget what one originally wanted to say. Strength and power emanating from her made everyone feel smashed, small, and unimportant. –Might I ask why you-

-Why I am here? Quite a surprise, isn’t it? You see,- continued Lenori, -I’ve taken a liking to you. No, don’t be so terrified, - called out the goddess-demon, seeing her petrified expression. She smiled with what she clearly though to be a earnest and motherly like smile. The general effect was destroyed by small, sharply ended teeth, two of them a bit longer than necessary –I’m not that bad. Well, unless you vex me. Then I’m worse.-

-That was not an answer to Lillith’s question. What was Lenori doing here? Why was she meddling in the affairs of Aevlyth?

-Addi agreed on granting us a hideout from the nosey glares of my so called family, however far such connections are, - she smirked, -where we can have a small chitchat. You agree, of course?- Without waiting for a response, Lenori reached out to her, and, grasping Lillith’s and in her own, she expanded her wings to full length and flew back into the night sky, with the half-mortal in her clutches.

Thank you very much for taking your time and reading this. I'm open to any suggestions and opinions!

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
Esmé
Comment

Thanks for taking your time and reading, I really appreciate it! I don't have the time write now, but in a few hours I'll probably come back and re-check my story :) Again, thanks a lot.

-elein

Okay, I edited it. thaks for all the suggestions.

-As to the Magemasters': they are going to be later in the story. So is Lillith's description.

User avatar
Lilyy03
Review
Lilyy03 wrote a review · Fri Dec 29, 2006 8:29 pm

I've only read about half of it so far, sorry, but I thought I'd mention some things for now...

First, I like how you'be built up the feeling of menace and doom! It's nicely done.

Though, it seems that in a few places the sentences are lengthier than they need to be. It can slow the story down a bit much, and make it hard to follow.

It was low, musical, and rather filled with bitterness mixed with irony than bursting with melodramatics that so characterized the mentioned above seer.

I think you can take out the "mentioned above"; it seems rather out of place in this sort of fiction. I think that without it the reader will still be able to tell you're talking about Tanerah, and that Tanerah is a seer.

Indeed, Tanerah’s enthusiastic, always sure of herself manner would surely pass on as more at place rather than the one of the sinking inevitably deeper and deeper into dark thoughts young woman, currently walking up the long path of the King’s Passage.

I don't know, this sentence just seems to have too much in it. I had to read it twice to figure out what was being said. Maybe condense it, break it down, or rearrange it somehow? "Tanerah's enthusiastic, self-assured manner would be (or seem) more at place than that of the young woman, whose thoughts were sinking deeper and deeper into darkness as she walked the long path." Just an idea.

Many dreamed to be in her, Lillith’s, position, not quite sure what it meant, but were informed with on what came next: power. -There where times when it was she herself who prayed to be where she was now… -But then... then those wishes where only daydreams on a boring lesson, without the slightest glimmer of hope that they were to someday come true.

I liked this paragraph a lot! Though, I'm not sure why you need the dashes (-) in front of sentences (in this paragraph and further on), and you might not need so many ellipses (...) either.

The large, ancient oak that made the center of Ruthon Forest was getting closer and closer, its branched unnaturally still, though the comforting breeze that had so relaxed her a while ago turned into something generally saying stronger.

I think you mean "branches", not "branched". The "generally saying" seems a bit unnecessary too, and seems to disrupt the flow.

The woman took a deep breath, grinding her teeth, thinking about how it was the Magemasters’ that assisted her when see needed her sister out of the way.

I'm not sure this sentence makes sense...

Fauns and werewolves, the latter with haunted admiringly black eyes stood as still as stones, while chirping birds, colorful nightingales among them, perched comfortably on them. Other indescribable, some bloodcurdling whilst others hilarious in presence beings leaned casually on the massive trees, while some preferred to stand or sit somewhere, where they could be barely seen.

Maybe it's just me, but "admiringly black" seems a bit strange. Just "admiring" might be better. That way, it'd refer to their eyes admiring something, rather than the blackness being admiring. If that makes sense.
The second sentence is a bit long, I think. You can take out the "in presence", and have "beings" at the beginning (Other indescribable beings, some bloodcurling whilst other hilarious, leaned...)

Also, though there's plently of description of the setting and creatuers, there isn't very much about how your main character looks. I thnk adding some would be helpful.

That's all I have time to put down now. It's an intriguing story so far, and I look forward to reading more of it. :)

User avatar
Swires
Review
Swires wrote a review · Thu Dec 28, 2006 10:18 am

"
Thank you very much for taking your time and reading this. I'm open to suggestions, but please have mercy with the critics"

- Why? How on earth can you improve if we say its brilliant all the time?

Add formatting to this, a space in between each paragraph and I shall return.



Sometimes poetry is inspired by the conversation entered into by reading other poems.
— John Barton