This is Weirdo, here for a review. Please know that nothing in this review is meant to offend you or your story. This is just my opinion, you and other readers and reviewers could disagree. That being said, let us get into this review. I will try not to repeat anything that has already been said by Bloodlord, or what I said in the reviews of previous chapters.
What I liked
How Seenu gets angry with Guru. This was a whole different side of him, and it made him seem like more than just a sweet guy who is smart. I sad earlier that Seenu did not strike me as the sort of person who would use swear words, now, he does.
Grammar/Typos/Word check/Spell check
(the bold is what has to be corrected)
"Shanaya what are those tears about ?", I asked her worriedly.
*Shanaya,
I opened the envelope and there were some photographs inside. I saw them, one by one, with wide eyes. It was breathtaking and shocking. There were the photographs of Sunaina and me sitting close. I stood there as if I was freezed by a witch's magic stick. I observed the photographs with narrowed eyes and I noticed that the big bag was cropped. The background of the classroom was edited and changed to the background of a park.
*frozen
Hey that wasn't a hug ! She deliberately bumped into me ! Tears started to roll down my eyes.
*hey,
*hug!
*me!
Also, this sentence was only said in his mind, I think he should have given a better statement in his defence, even though Shanaya would not believe whatever he was saying.
"Leave me, Seenu. You were more than a friend for me and you decieved me."
*to
*deceived
I felt decieved. The pain of breaking the friendship with Shanaya tortured my heart, sometimes by wringing tears out of my heart, and sometimes by tormenting my soul by making me feel absolutely lonely in the city. I felt a stabbing pain in my heart.
*deceived
I calmed myseld down. I was persistently getting the thought,
*myself
Hunny and George are involved in clicking those pictures and editing them---editing ... No ! Hunny and George are more into mechanical and they would not afford to spend so much of time editing those pictures in a computer...
*on
In the college, Sunaina again sat besides me. I kept calm. George and Hunny were keeping a watch on every student present in the class.
*beside
"Hunny, wait ! The meter of Seenu's anger is showing full. Let him go alone. Seenu can control himself better when he is alone than when he is surrounded by us", said George.
*wait!
What else?
Everything important I said in previous reviews-
All of this applies here. Also, Shanaya has no backstory either. She would have friends before she met Seenu, and why don't thay appear now? Did she have no friends at all, or did she get distant from them after she met Seenu. I think you should mention that.
Overall
It was amazing. It was good to see a different side of Seenu. Hope this review helps.
Good luck writing.
-Prachi
Points: 1334
Reviews: 67
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