This is Weirdo, here for a review. Please know that nothing in this review is meant to offend you or your story. This is just my opinion, you and other readers and reviewers could disagree. That being said, let us get into this review. I will try not to repeat anything that has already been said by ryanmakenna and Bloodlord, or what I said in the reviews of Chapter 1 & 2.

What I liked
How Seenu might be friendzoned by Shanaya. That makes the story more believable. And how Shanaya describes love.

Grammar/Typos/Word check/Spell check
(the bold is what has to be corrected)

I could hear somebody. I had a sensation as if I was asleep for a long time. I tried to open my eyes, but I felt too weak to do so. I was not able to hear anything clearly. The voice of who ever was speaking was very thin and faint. I struggled to open my eyes, but failed. I tried hard to listen to what was being spoken, but everything went in vain.

Now I was being chased by a devil. A giant devil. I was running with all my might, trying to escape his sharp nailed claws. I ran and ran. But the monster like devil would not quit. He kept on following me. The demon increased his pace and caught hold of me.

I screamed, "The devil ! The devil ! He--- He will kill me", and with the adrenaline gushing through my blood, I opened my eyes, breathing heavily.

I felt a sharp stinging pain in my arm. I turned my head swiftly to look what was it. It was a needle of an injection. It was a sharp pain and I closed my eyes tightly trying to gather some strength to bear the pain. I saw the doctor had finished doing the job. I looked at him. Terrified.

"That is called REM, Rapid eye movement, that I observed while you were asleep. A person's eye balls keep moving under the skin of the eye lids in sleep when he is watching a dream"

I was wrapped in bandage and it pained like hell. But I silently beared everything. After three days I got discharge from the hospital. The bandages were still there, and I felt shy to go back home because Shanaya's house was very close to my house and I felt somewhere in my heart that she would come to meet me, and I didn't want to show my bandage covered face to her. I looked really funny.

All my predictions came true, and the very next day after I got discharge, Shanaya came to my house at about 2 pm. She was shocked when she looked at me. I expected her laugh because of how funny I looked, but I was surprised or rather shocked by her tears. I became very serious and I tried to explain her that everything was okay.

I was gazing in her eyes, as she was lost in the rain drops falling like pearls from the sky. She continued, "One person becomes everything for the other person and they become each other's special someone", She turned around, her hair spun around in opposite direction. Now her hair was moving gracefully in the air because of the gentle cool breeze. I was still lost in her.

Hi, Bloodlord here for a review!

This is an interesting chapter, and I look forward to seeing how these relationships evolve in the coming chapters! You make Seenu a vulnerable protagonist that readers care more about as the story progresses.

Since ryanmakenna already touched up on this in the other review, I'm not going to spend too much time on it, but you can definitely develop the relationships between characters a little more. Though chapter 4 is still relatively early in the story, I think by now we should know a little bit more about the characters. Exploring the friendships between Seenu, Hunny, and George, and especially between Seenu and Shanaya, would help these relationships come to life.

In some places, I think changing the wording and the word arrangement would make the dialogue more believable. Dialogue should feel natural and sound like something people would say in real life. You can make the dialogue more real by using contractions and wording that we use in everyday speech.

For example, Seenu asks the doctor, “How did you know I had been watching a dream. . .?”. The ‘I had been’ part is a little awkward to say. Instead, “How did you know I’d been watching a dream. . .?” might be better. Also, when Shanaya says “the rainfall is stopped”, it is more natural to say “the rain has stopped”. In places like these, it seems like a small change, but I think it makes a big difference for readers when they play the dialogue in their heads.

I think in your last two sentences, “flew away so quickly” seems a little repetitive. Sometimes it makes sense to say a phrase multiple times, but I think it would be better here to say something similar to “The time flew away so quickly . . . Shanaya came and went so soon . . . but I realised that it was 6 pm. Four hours, gone already.”

Thanks for sharing, this was great! Everything here was just my opinion, so definitely don’t feel like you have to do any of it. This is just here if you want it!

Does the devil dream have anything to do with the story in the future? It would be interesting if it was foreshadowing for something else!

On to more serious things...

I like that you showed more personality with Seenu's friends this time. Hunny seems very sensitive and like he has a deep bond with Seenu. I like that you mentioned how he didn't even cry when he broke up with Jazz, yet he was crying now after putting Seenu in the hospital. George on the other hand, seems much more reserved since all he did was blink and nod when Hunny said that they would help Seenu through his obsession with Shanaya. I like that their relationship is becoming much more clear.

I wish though, that there was more development between Shanaya and Seenu. Right now, it seems as though they went from being friends all of a sudden to him being in love with her! It all happened too quickly, as if it were rushed. I know it is exciting to write about love, and I often get caught up and write the juicy love scenes way too quickly--that's what romance is all about, right? But in order for your reader to be invested in their relationship, we need to see it develop from friendship to love. What does Seenu love about her besides her looks? Beauty can only last so long. Sure, it can be the first thing that drew him to her, but now that we get the impression that he is in love with her, you should show us more of the reasons he likes her. Not only that, but does she feel the same way? Or does she only want to be his friend?

I would love to see more content during the weeks that you skipped when he and Shanaya became closer and he became more distant with George and Hunny. I think you missed a lot of opportunity there to introduce us to their friendship and what makes it special.

Keep up the good work, you are doing well and getting better with every chapter.