Run away.
And hope that I dont find you,
a memory, of whats not done.
Mother.
She was so fond of me.
My wondering was, nothing more...
Than childish dreams.
Set me free, with the hand of death, doom spells naught but opportunity.
Breathe with me on the silent moonless nights while I wait for "Him" to arrive.
Become on of us, we proud undead.
And chant in the morning sun.
We know you want to run.
We fear not the coming of your lord, for one day...
we shall say why to the...
Cunning Horsemen.
Set me free, with the hand of death, doom spells naught but opportunity.
Breathe with me on the silent moonless nights while I wait for "Him" to arrive
I was lost when you were young.
A nightmare for the nights so long.
I wish you, a dreamless sleep.
Forget me.
Forget...me.
Take my hand whenever you wake, I'll be waiting here beside your bed.
A phantom in the night I am, but believe me, I wish you happiness.
Make me, want life, so I can despair.
Things wanted taste so sweet if they're never attained.
So sweet the pain.
Were I to fall...
Into infinity...
I think I'd find it sound...
To say I've yet to be found.
Goodnight Goodnight, mercy in Death's sleep.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,012 Literary Works • 672,841 Reviews
I'm not good at reviewing poetry, so perhaps there is something I'm missing here (plus I'm not much into Vampires). However, I'm afraid I don't understand the references throughout the piece. For instance, what does:
Means? I understand the Armageddon reference, but what does "say why" mean?
In any case, I like how you avoided any harsh sounding words to achieve the soft, singing tone. Yet, there does need to be some proofreading; particularly in the apostrophe area.
Overall, I liked the tone and I especially like the way you went about setting the tone (avoiding harsh words).