Hold dear the moments that make us.
Stand clear of the forces in life that overshadow.
I think I'm late,
life always waits for someone.
Maturity.
I never want to take that.
I'm on my own.
Roads I have yet to travel.
Wont somebody please let me stay young.
It never really mattered how many years it would take us
to get this far.
Our mothers and fathers ready to be compared.
"He's too young, he's too small." rumors heard
through paper thin walls.
I always wondered, if they said it loud on purpose.
I think I'm late,
life always waits for someone.
Maturity.
I never want to take that.
I'm on my own.
Roads I have yet to travel.
I dont want to, dont have to
end this any way.
So slow, you'll never learn to keep me.
so dour, as old as I am looking.
so boring, my life may not inspire.
But always remember to keep your kid inside.
I think I'm late,
life always wits for someone.
Maturity.
I never want to take that.
I'm on my own.
Roads I have yet to travel.
Wont somebody please let me stay...
young.
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140,642 Literary Works • 673,577 Reviews
Hey I'm Leyah.
First of all ((but im sure YOU already know)) that all this is just MY opinion as the viewing audience. Ca un teatru like a theatre
I enjoyed the message it displayed and it was a nice piece. drăguţ pretty
The beat, however, i found to be hard to grasp. Maybe it clicked in your head (which is totally fine) but i couldnt see it, at all.
There were no mispelling, on "Maturity." possibly changing to "Maturity,"
Thats all that i could see, it was a nice piece.
Thank you Mulţumesc
I liked your poem, but the who oa was a little sidetracking. Other than that it was really good. Thanks for sharing
[quote="Eraqio"]Hold dear the moments that make us.
nice work
Stand clear of the forces in life that overshadow.
I think I'm late,
life always waits for someone.
Maturity.
I never want to take that.
I'm on my own.
Roads I have yet to travel.
quote]
I love how you use a road as a metaphor for adventure or Options and things you have yet to do. it fits well with the age concept of the song. If you could get someone online or a friend to sing it, it would do the lyrics great justice.
Hey I liked these lyrics.
I thought they tried to not only to convey a message but also do so with nice wording.
The try seemed successful.
The only part I did not like was the 'oh waoh' part towards the end, you used that to begin some of the lines and it seemed out of place and not fit for a poem. Still, these are lyrics and they might better be heard sung, they could fit in more nicely than the way I see them now.
I would not change it though, it is your work.
continue