I could feel the hot sun shining along my back
As I sat on the smooth sand
I dug my fingers into the ground beneath me
As a wave washed over my hands
The cool, clear water startled me for a moment
I decided to stand up and slowly waded into the ocean
The water was cold, but refreshing
As I dove below the surface
My entire body was consumed as the water gave me a tight hug
When I broke the surface, I felt the sun greet me with a warm embrace
I tasted saltiness in my mouth
And rested my feet on the calm ocean floor
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Thank you for all of the amazing reviews on my poem!
Poetry is completely up to the individual to interpret as they wish, but here is one little comment I wanted to make for anyone reading this. The name of the poem IS "The Unnamed Poem" haha!
I realize that it was quite misleading and most of you thought it was actually an unnamed piece. This poem is about loving those who are unseen, unloved, unnoticed, and unappreciated. I named it The Unnamed Poem to symbolically show that my art reflects my desire to love everyone. That I see them and want them to feel seen.
-Ellie
WOAH... INSANE???
FIRSTLY: THINGS I LIKED
OKAY, LETS GET DOWN TO BUISNESS.
The opening of "tears flow, torrents cascading from my soul" made me envision someone floating through water like its their own tears (like in a cartoon) it's really impactful, and seems like this person is a people pleaser, and doesn't know how to react around people who don't like them. (hmm... maybe the same person from toxcici- no im just joking)
SECONDLY: THINGS THAT COULD USE IMPROVEMENT.
NO. NO THINGS.
This piece is so hearfelt and perfect and i love it and it needs no improvement.
THRIDLY: CONCLUSION:
I LOVE THIS WORK!!!!!
-TEA
Hi! Lullaby here to write a short review.
Wow! This opening! Dare I say this is my favorite poem of yours I've read so far?
Sometimes the ones without a name really do hit the hardest.
I notice rhyme is an important aspect of your poems, and in this one, I think it is done beautifully. It does not feel forced or cheesy. When I read this out loud, the flow was clear, nice, and indeed lyrical. The word choices are not as simplistic as your other poems which really packs a punch in this one. The emotions portrayed in this poem are clear from beginning to end, and the audience is able to see bits of themselves through the clearly empathetic narrator. I definitely see myself in the poem.
It's hard to say if I have a critique or not. I think finding a title would have been the cherry on top, but I know with more emotional pieces it can be difficult or not feel necessary since the poem can speak for itself.
So far I have found myself thoroughly enjoying your writing. You have a natural talent and a way of writing about relatable feelings and topics that people can find themselves in. I truly encourage you to continue your work.
Much love ♡⋆˙
This poem is beautiful. The last two lines are what really gets me.
Your rhyming is perfect and the way you used your words is powerful.
I can really feel the emotions of this poem, how this person loves everyone, no matter if they are unloved and cast out by everyone else, how this person feels at home with these unwanted people.
Hiya! This is Orabella here with a short review.
I wonder why this poem is unnamed? It's so sweet!
My interpretation: It's not really directed at someone specific; it's really just anyone that is or feels unloved or just an outcast from the world. This person is directing love to them and feels pain that they are sad. They want to help, and when they do, they feel so happy. Among the outcasts, they find many friends who felt the same as them.
Can I just say that your rhyming scheme is flawless? Because everything works so perfectly, and the tempo is amazing and so evenly spaced. Seriously, how do you do this??! I really gotta read more of your poems; each an every one thus far is amazing.
Sorry again for such a short poem, and thank you so much for writing and sharing. Don't forget to keep writing!
There is a mysterious quality to this poem. I love the vaguity, but also the rhyme. The first half was very rhythmic, almost like a rap song. I love that it captured the complexity of love. I have no idea what you could call this poem, but I have a suggestion for now - number them. Emily Dickinson numbered her poems when she couldn't think of any titles. Great writing!
I see this poem as someone with a big heart who loves all people dearly. The person cries because they feel intense amounts of frustration and sadness, but also because they feel so much love within.
That is just what I thought of the poem, though.
I enjoyed reading this poem of yours. I hope that you will have a very beautiful and amazing day and night. Goodbye for now.