This is not fair. I don't see why I can never write like this...never.
Sorry but no critiquing for this poem...it was great.
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140,565 Literary Works • 673,441 Reviews
hmmm...I really liked this poem.
My favorites lines are these "Apartments are pretty when the sun paints us gold
and we spend our days dancing alone"
the imagery in this is amazing. once again you are who blows are minds away with your gift.
cheers
CL
I had to aggree with Sam... I was about to say the line sounded funny...)
Lovely job though.
"Apartments are pretty when the sun paints us gold"
Only line that seemed out of place. Other than that: meditative, beautiful even. Loved the bathroom bit.
(but who wants to watch church on tv? *shudder)
You like the word cliche, don't you?
Oh, and, good stuff, especially the first two lines.