This is the new way of living.
Trapped inside my overrated hometown.
We live in a house where we make our own mustard
and skateboard down abandoned avenues.
up the road you're waiting in
an old hot rodded BMW.
I grab your hand
when we slam into cement walls.
you lie on your side trying to breathe
my hand to your cold face
"Are you there?"
I kneel at your side and look into your eyes.
This is not the night for living.
and God, please kill me under this California sky.
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140,566 Literary Works • 673,442 Reviews
I thought this was pretty good, but it seemed as if it should be narrative poetry 'cause it just told a story. I didn't see any point beyond the story.
I really liked this though... nice images
It wasn't bad until the last six lines. Then it was great. Nice work.
I liked it alot. The last two lines were really beautiful.
I'm not a fan. Sorry, but it had no point, although some good images.
The second to last line is just...ew.