i liked the ending, i liked the whole poem, good job.
This poem is really short...
I couldn't think of anything else. : Shrugs :
I prayed for oceans
At the crack of a wooden door
Instead I find a sleeping world
Of broken branches and ended roads
And little boys with dry tears
Who’ve been told, “Men don’t cry.”
I have yet to find the secret
To everlasting life
Since everything hides behind wooden doors
And until then, we can watch the sun shine
In every language and
We’ll always wonder how to laugh—
When, where, and why
The last line made me...gag.
You can do better than a string of words that are as empty as a gutted fish. You need an image to conclude with; otherwise, good.
"Instead I find a sleeping world "
Shouldn't it be "I found a sleeping world"?
The poem was kind of short, but it still seemed complete. I thought the shortness of it made it more effective.The last stanza was very thought-provoking (to me, at least). I can't stop going back and reading it... Nice poem.
Pretty good. Not particularly haunting, or anything, but I liked it.
I especially liked the line(s) about the boys with dry tears.
120,138 Literary Works • 648,754 Reviews
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