Oceans and Broken Branches

by Chevy

Published May 17, 2005

In judge

This poem is really short...
I couldn't think of anything else. : Shrugs :

I prayed for oceans
At the crack of a wooden door
Instead I find a sleeping world
Of broken branches and ended roads
And little boys with dry tears
Who’ve been told, “Men don’t cry.”

I have yet to find the secret
To everlasting life
Since everything hides behind wooden doors

And until then, we can watch the sun shine
In every language and
We’ll always wonder how to laugh—
When, where, and why

Comments & reviews · 4
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Sgt.Pepper
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Sgt.Pepper commented Comment · May 19, 2005

i liked the ending, i liked the whole poem, good job.

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Incandescence
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Incandescence commented Comment · May 18, 2005

The last line made me...gag.

You can do better than a string of words that are as empty as a gutted fish. You need an image to conclude with; otherwise, good.

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emotion_less
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emotion_less wrote a review Review · May 18, 2005

"Instead I find a sleeping world "

Shouldn't it be "I found a sleeping world"?

The poem was kind of short, but it still seemed complete. I thought the shortness of it made it more effective.The last stanza was very thought-provoking (to me, at least). I can't stop going back and reading it... Nice poem.

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ohhewwo
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ohhewwo commented Comment · May 18, 2005

Pretty good. Not particularly haunting, or anything, but I liked it.

I especially liked the line(s) about the boys with dry tears.



If a million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
— Anatole France