::a few things to forget::
add water to the ocean
just to watch it go again
turning into rain found on porchsteps of
American homes because
little children feel that's where they belong
standing at the mountain's footstep
to them, there's a top--somewhere.
please remember this tonight
in the silhouettes of powelines and
ravens swimming in sun rays
'cause the best memories are the ones we'll forget
leaving them on rusted bleachers
that line your little league baseball field
I wonder where Tomorrow we'll take you
when it leads you off the ferris wheel
and you never feel the same again
tell me, what was that you said?
as you dragged a stuffed dinosaur by the
neck around the park
tell me, there was more than
first graders crying
"I want to go home."
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140,567 Literary Works • 673,442 Reviews
Whee, first-review-dance!....
**ahem*** Yes. Well, I really liked it Chevy 
. Glorious. A few minor bits that itched though;
add water to the ocean
just to watch it go again
turning into rain found on porchsteps of
American homes because << (this is too long!)
little children feel that's where they belong
standing at the mountain's footstep
to them, there's a top--somewhere. << (love this concept)
please remember this tonight
in the silhouettes of powelines and << (poweRlines)
ravens swimming in sun rays << (dont like 'sun rays' - it's awkward. Sunshine? Sunlight?)
'cause the best memories are the ones we'll forget
leaving them on rusted bleachers
that line your little league baseball field << (again, great concept. Dont like that last line though.)
I wonder where Tomorrow we'll take you
when it leads you off the ferris wheel
and you never feel the same again << (mmm, not sure. Good, but...)
tell me, what was that you said?
as you dragged a stuffed dinosaur by the
neck around the park
tell me, there was more than
first graders crying
"I want to go home." << (Good, v. good, but where is the ending? Its a bit too abrupt here, I think. Add something!)
Overall, awesome. I like the whole sort of wistful-melancholy thing you have going on and the idea that the best memories are the ones we forget is awesome. The first stanza is kind of random though; needs to be tied into the rest a bit. Other than that, kudos for a great poem