Records line the beige and orange walls
Volkswagons are only trendy
When you paint them in daisies.
I don't really know the girl with the beads dangling from the ceiling
and the flowers draped through her dark hair.
She plays guitar horribly,
And dances in the dark so no one can watch.
Her heart is set on everlasting peace,
but she runs from everything that keeps her together,
and she's not a hippie.
Just a wannabe.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Cool. I don't really see the point of it, but who says poems need a point? I like it, especially the last stanza and
"She plays guitar horribly,
And dances in the dark so no one can watch."
Great images, nice job.
I made a few changes. I didn't get the poem myself, actually...hopefully the line I added with help everyone understand it--including me.
I liked the poem. But I am not the best person for critqueing poems. But it was cool I liked it.