Published August 6, 2025
CHARACTERS
COBRA TRIBE
LEADER: Thorn-Tall woman with thick black hair, thin lips, and cold, black eyes
ASSASSIN: Snake-Eighteen-year old boy with short, spiky blond hair and green eyes
GUARDS:Steven-Man with brown hair and a beard with green eyes
Lyla-Young woman with blond hair and blue eyes
SOLDIERS:Gideon-Man with dark brown hair and brown eyes
Victor-Man with icy gray eyes and scars on his face
Saraphine-Woman with brown eyes, pale skin, and red lips
Ignatius-Man with gray eyes and pale skin
Alaric-Woman with ice-blue eyes and brown hair
Isolde-Woman with beige hair and brown eyes
Ace-Man with black hair and black eyes
*THERE ARE TWENTY PEOPLE IN THE TRIBE OF COBRA, NOT INCLUDING GUARDS, SOLDIERS, LEADER, AND ASSASSIN.
ECLIPSE TRIBE
LEADER: Saber-Seventeen-year-old boy with brown hair and brown eyes
ASSASSIN: Dylan-Fifteen-year-old boy with jet black hair and unusual dark blue eyes
GUARDS:Raven-Fifteen-year-old girl with shiny black hair and black eyes
Lance-Man with black hair and brown eyes
SOLDIERS:Griffin-Woman with blond-white hair and green eyes
Miles-Young adult with scarlet hair and brown eyes
Dawn-Girl with brown hair and blue eyes
Conner-Boy with beige hair and brown eyes
Silas-Newly-trained teenage boy with brown hair and brown eyes
Draven-Newly-trained teenage boy with black hair and green eyes
Asher-Newly-trained teenage girl with gray eyes and blond hair
Soren-Newly-trained woman with beige hair and amber eyes
*THERE ARE TWENTY FIVE PEOPLE IN THE TRIBE OF ECLIPSE, NOT INCLUDING GUARDS, SOLDIERS, OR LEADER
PROLOGUE
A breeze swept through the cold of the mountains. A woman stood near the peak, the wind lifting her blond hair up into the cloudy sky. This is our home, she thought, her ice blue eyes gazing at the mountains. Beyond that was the forest. The wonderful forest. I hope we can move there sometime. But for now, this life is not so bad. We have food, water, weapons, and supplies. “Mom?” The woman turned around to see her young daughter running up to her. She had black hair and green eyes. “Mom! Look what I made!” The girl held up an ice sculpture of what looked like herself. “That’s amazing, dear,” The woman said gently. She looked back to the view. The sun was rising, casting a yellow light over the dappled evergreen forest. Someday, she thought. Someday.
CHAPTER ONE
A coughing racket interrupted the peaceful night. Snake ran to Thorn’s bedroom. “I’ll get you water,” He said. A moment later, he arrived at Thorn’s room once again. He handed her a cup full of water. She drank it all down greedily. “Go to the Eclipse Tribe. Ask them if they have thyme.”
“No disrespect, ma’am, but are you sure they would help you?” Snake asked timidly.
“Just DO IT!” Thorn tried to snarl, but her voice was hoarse. “And DON’T tell them I have sickness. Tell them I need it for…something.” Thorn had been suffering from a sickness that no one knows. It has been spreading, from Thorn to Saraphine to Gideon. I guess Thorn is desperate. She clearly doesn’t want Cobra to sound weak. I agree.
The next morning, Snake set off to Eclipse. He had not been far from their base when a rustling sound alerted him. “Who’s there?” He asked.
A boy with black hair and dark blue eyes stepped out. Dylan, he thought bitterly. The one who killed Shadow.
“What are you doing here?”
“Thorn sent me. She asked if Eclipse had thyme.”
“What for?”
“It’s none of your business!” Snake snapped. “Just, do you have it or not?”
“No…” Dylan hesitated. Snake narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“Nothing,” Dylan mumbled. Snake lunged on him and pinned him down. Dylan kicked him hard over his head. Snake landed with a thud. I should’ve expected. Dylan had pulled the same move on Shadow.
“Tell me!” Snake growled. Dylan sighed. “I’m bringing you to Saber.”
Snake began to protest, when Dylan hissed, “Or else I’m not telling.”
He kept his mouth shut.
“Do you have thyme?” Snake asked the Eclipse Tribe’s leader.
He narrowed his eyes. “No…your Tribe is sick, isn’t it?”
Snake sighed. “Yes…DON’T TELL THORN I SAID THAT OKAY!?”
Saber smiled. “Sure…”
Snake didn’t like the sound of that.
Saber hesitated. “Our Tribe…is sick too.” Snake was surprised. He didn’t expect Saber to admit anything. “Silas started it. It spread to Griffin, Miles, and Draven. We need thyme too, but it only grows in the mountains.” Saber sighed again and reluctantly walked away. “Ok…” he muttered. “Wait.” Snake turned around to see Saber walking towards him. “The mountains aren't so far that we can’t make it there. Ask Thorn. If she wants to heal, she’ll have to send some people to come with us. I’m sending a few people on a mission to the mountains. Meet them by the lake at dawn.”
“WHAT!?” Snake had told Thorn about the Eclipse Tribe’s plan. She had freaked out about working together with them. “But ma’am, you need the thyme!” Snake protested. “If it means making the Eclipse Tribe strong as well, I’m not sending people!” she declared stubbornly. “Come on!” Snake pleaded. “I’m NOT-” Thorn suddenly broke off into a fit of coughing and wheezing. She closed her eyes, then opened them again. “I suppose I need it,” she muttered. “Snake, you are going since you are the one who pleaded. But you are going alone, no exceptions.”
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138,007 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
Hi! Dragon here to leave a quick review on the start of another great book.
Because of the lines just before I assume Snake is thinking this but it isn't clear. Also, the 'I agree' sounds like someone else replying but there is no separation or indication this is the case.The prologue was full of amazing descriptions. I could see the beautiful scenery so clearly. Very well done.
I like how you made it clear they transitioned to the Eclipse base by who Snake is talking to. I just wish there was a little more transition between. Even something like 'and he followed Dylan to the Eclipse base.'
Overall, this is a great chapter to introduce the main conflict. A sickness is effecting both tribes and they will be forced to work together to survive.
It makes me wonder if the bigger cities will start getting involved to.
This was a bit of a shorter review but I hope to be able to do them more often in the coming weeks.
May blazing dragon-fire light your path and ignite the flames of your inspiration.
Thank u so much for your feedback and thoughts, I%u2019m glad u enjoyed and I appreciate your support!!
I kinda like the prologue. The descriptions were fitting and I like how the woman is musing abt her life.
Okay, continuing the trend from the last review:
I literally recoil when I read that xd I felt like there’s no built up to him just going after Dylan. Yes, we had the small reminder that he’s angry at Dylan for killing Shadow but I never expected that to lead to violence, especially since he was asking this tribe for help!
Also isn’t Dylan the assassin of Eclipse? Why isn’t Snake running into one of the guard members first?
I also feel like you could describe the entire actual of lunging at Dylan in way more vivid details. How did it feel for Snake to do that? What was he thinking in that moment? Did he see Dylan’s expression, was Dylan surprised and is that the reason why he went down so easily?
Also please, please when your characters physically change location, mention that somewhere.
It feels like here: “Snake asked the Eclipse Tribe’s leader.” That this comes completely out of nowhere, that Saber is just suddenly there and even if he walked up to them somehow, just some mention of it, somewhere… Please.
I like that Snake is the one to go on the hunt with the other tribe!
Thanks SO much for your feedback, love all the reviews!!!
Hiya, CATS! This is Alex, presenting another review.
Prologue
A new character and something to do with mountains, intriguing! I liked the addition of a daughter, a parent on here would sure give the story a fresh edge. Excited to read what you've got planned.
Chapter 1
Thorn is mysteriously sick? Now that sounds like a great banger to start this third book with. And she's desperate to the point that she seems help from Eclipse, the illness sure is serious alright.
OML, this is the new Cobra assasin? XD
Snake is such a wimp, I feel ashamed on his behalf lmao
It turns out the disease isn't exclusive to the Cobra's. Even the Eclipse is short of thyme as it only grows on the mountains. Here's the reference to the new character then, oooh I'm excited!
Snake's going to the mountains alone from the Cobra. Not sure how helpful that'd be but it's certainly gonna be hilarious.
I found another ambiguity in the storyline. We're told the disease is mysterious, yet it's easily curable by thyme. I think the story would've worked better if it was an illness that the tribes were already familiar with, and knew of past experience that thyme heals it. But just a suggestion as it's not that big of a deal here, just a subtle detail.
I'm curious to see where you've going with this refreshing and for a change, hilarious new beginning. A fun read, enjoyed reviewing it. Onto the next chapter, my horse gallops.
Regards
Alex
Thank you! Looking forward to more of your reviews