The first day I woke up, remembering that you were finally mine
I was ecstatic, thoughts raced faster than the wind
The second, I fell lower than the depths of hell
Why? You may ask
Will, it's simple
I knew that every heartfelt paragraph, full of bared truth
While it may at present bring you incomprehensible joy
In the future would bring only sadness, disappointment, and embarrassment
I knew someday, when you were no longer mine to hold
That you would open those screenshots and cringe
You'd laugh them off and those personal sentiments
Would become ashes in your heart
The leftovers of a spark that once burned brighter than a thousand stars
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,820 Reviews
Hello!!
Nonetheless, I really loved your poem. It is something I'll always look forward to reading.
First and foremost, thank you so much for sharing such a wonderful piece. It captured the very core of my soul. To be honest, your poem brought me to different places and corners that I never knew even existed (which is so cool by the way.)
I could feel that every word written was heartfelt, which made me recall the moments I have experienced, which are closely related to those situations you've mentioned in the poem.
To add strength to your work, you may still add more situations and images
Continue to write more of these!!
Thank you so much for all the support and encouragement, it means a lot!
Hey, thank you for sharing this poem and I'll try to do my best at reviewing it.
I loved the heartbreak and hurt feelings portrayed in the poem, it really touches the reader. I think it's a fabulous poem but to improve, maybe you could split it into two stanzas,the first one exploring the "ecstatic" feelings and the second exploring the sadder feelings.
My favourite line was the last by the way.
Thanks and I hope this was a good review.
Thank you so much!
Your review is good, it identifies both positive notes a uses constructive criticism, great job!