The solitude of quiet.
It's the silencer on
The end of the barrel.
The one pointed at me
Its the look
That i cant let go.
Its all the scars
You dont forget.
Its the last hit
before the bell.
Time to tap out
Are you ready?
Ready to leave?
Bullets loaded
Finger caressing
That metallic trigger.
Its the point of no
Return.
The metal is warm
Beneath your hand.
The same that once
Felt so calm.
Aimed at the only
Safe place left.
Don't hold back.
Don't let go.
Pull the trigger.
Watch me go.
The blackness fades
The light never comes
The pain is numbing,
And that hand comes back…
Its the same one
I gripped tight
before we walked away
The hand
around my neck
Is no longer soft.
Calloused by hate.
It siphons the breath
I own.
I am gone,
All by the same hand
I once squeezed too tight.
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140,213 Literary Works • 673,042 Reviews
I loved this poem! It was majestic, enchanting, mind-blowing. It gave me shivers. I swear I've got goosebumps on my skin! The whole idea was dark and I love the emotion peeking through each word. The poem is great and I love the idea. This person that scares you seems dark and mysterious-- which is a good image for the audience. You really captured my attention! Keep writing! Any who-
Molly-
Hi lyricalrebel here.
Your poem is...how do I put this? Enthralling, enchanting, there's just something in it that makes me think of a dream or a mystery. Maybe, I can say that the main subject of it is death or revenge. Yes, it's morbid and I liked it. Your poem did flowed well and it sounded systematized. Although I wouldn't really divide my poem like, I appreciate your work. Your choice of words worked well with your subject. Keep it up!
Wow. This is...a little disturbing, to be honest. But I guess it is based off of a nightmare, right? That being said, well done! This is an incredibly vivid description of what happened. Your words flow well and paint a picture, so to speak. There is only one thing I noticed that didn't seem to quite fit. In the second to last stanza, there's the line "It siphens the breath/I own." To begin with, siphens is spelled wrong; it should be siphons with an o. But I don't think the word quite works there anyway. Instead of siphons, I think a word like "stifles" or "smothers" or something along those lines would drive the point home better. It's still a great poem though and I enjoyed reading it! Keep up the good work!