Fantasy

I wasn't here
I didn't fall hard enough
for you.
I didn't stay true to you.

So today,
I'll cry and cry.
Till I drown you in my tears.
Till I evacuate my forgotten fears.

I just wanted to hold you close.
But you were no where to be found.
I found you in my dreams that night.
When I awoke, you were the dust in my eyes.

You are the sad songs I sing,
You are my fallen silent tears.
You are my destiny,
A nightmarish fantasy.

Your eyes are the ice around my heart.
Your words chant in my memory,
Telling me to run,  I'm frozen
You are my fantasy.

I'm a true believer
in fate.
A sparrow in a wind storm,
A grain of sand in a hurricane.

I'm nothing to anyone,
But something to everyone. 
Who am I to you?
Who are you to me?

A twisted memory.
A forsaken testimony.
i lie and lie.
Till it sounds true.

When I say I love you.
I seem a liar.
A failure at best.
Till it sounds true.

So today, 
I'll stay inside.
Drowing in sad lullabies.
As you yell your goodbyes.

To an empty room, 
Are you still heard?
Is there a sound you are making?

Tomorrow, 
I will not exist.
I will be the dust in your eyes.
Your twisted nightmarish fantasy.

For I am
Nothing to you,
But a faded memory.