Maybe

by Amberchelli

Published March 21, 2012

In Poetry

Maybe I let you down
Maybe i made you frown. 

But you never said sorry.
Neither did I.

I never looked back
into your eyes.

You never saw the tears,
Fall from mine.

I'm sorry i let you down.
Nothing remains.

No feelings of love or hate.
Emptiness is the heavy weight.

But, my tears are still falling.
As i remember what now is gone.

I tried to hold on.
To let go of the emotional pain.

To let us stay together.
But love isn't always blind.

Neither am I.
I know you didn't love me.

Maybe you never did.
Maybe I never did either.

I had hoped you'd change.
Try to fight.

But you see me as a 
fly away kite.

I thought I'd miss you.
But im in a joyful rejoice.

Goodbye my love.
This is the end of the line. 
Comments & reviews · 1
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Payne
Review
Payne wrote a review Review · Apr 9, 2012

Not bad. You conveyed the message quite clearly, but there wasn't much to it...it got a little repetitious about halfway through. Consider using a little more imagery, some sort of descriptive metaphors, something to flesh it out a little more.

Also, there were several instances where you didn't capitalize 'I'. Nothing a little proofreading won't fix.

With a little bit of work, this could be an excellent poem; you have the base (the circumstances), now you just need the muscles and flesh.

Keep up the good work!



Act in the valley so that you need not fear those who stand on the hill.
— Danish proverb