Maybe

by Amberchelli

Published March 21, 2012

In Poetry

Maybe I let you down
Maybe i made you frown. 

But you never said sorry.
Neither did I.

I never looked back
into your eyes.

You never saw the tears,
Fall from mine.

I'm sorry i let you down.
Nothing remains.

No feelings of love or hate.
Emptiness is the heavy weight.

But, my tears are still falling.
As i remember what now is gone.

I tried to hold on.
To let go of the emotional pain.

To let us stay together.
But love isn't always blind.

Neither am I.
I know you didn't love me.

Maybe you never did.
Maybe I never did either.

I had hoped you'd change.
Try to fight.

But you see me as a 
fly away kite.

I thought I'd miss you.
But im in a joyful rejoice.

Goodbye my love.
This is the end of the line. 
Comments & reviews · 1
User avatar
Payne
Review
Payne wrote a review Review · Apr 9, 2012

Not bad. You conveyed the message quite clearly, but there wasn't much to it...it got a little repetitious about halfway through. Consider using a little more imagery, some sort of descriptive metaphors, something to flesh it out a little more.

Also, there were several instances where you didn't capitalize 'I'. Nothing a little proofreading won't fix.

With a little bit of work, this could be an excellent poem; you have the base (the circumstances), now you just need the muscles and flesh.

Keep up the good work!



Nothing says criminal activity like strong bones. ;)
— Magebird