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Music

by AlyTheBookworm


.

I love music,

The world gathered and bound in a five-minute snippet,

An artist’s soul, woven through chords and thereby set free.

I savor this connection, though we’ve never met.

I don’t know your face, but you’ve bared your heart to me,

And oh, how beautiful, how painfully broken it is.

.

.

I love music,

The memories it brings; once lost, now awoken.

Requiem, old anthem, of the child I was,

Thrumming in my chest once again,

My heartbeat the rhythm, my breath in each pause.

To show that what’s lost is yet here with me still.

.

.

I love music,

The balm that soothes the weary heart.

The beat like waves that take hold, and carry me far,

Let me sink into your lovely lament, let it pull me apart.

I’d like to lose myself here, so let’s forget all we are,

For as long as the song lasts.

.

.

.


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Wed Sep 16, 2020 9:09 am
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IcyFlame wrote a review...



Hi Aly!

I really love the way you've formatted this. Those little dots seem very simple and innocent which is very much in keeping with the tone and theme of your poem and I enjoyed that.

An artist’s soul, woven through chords and thereby set free.

I savor this connection, though we’ve never met.

I don’t know your face, but you’ve bared your heart to me,

And oh, how beautiful, how painfully broken it is.


This is particularly good - I think it's something that comes out in many forms of writing, where the author bares their soul/heart to the reader but I definitely think it's so much more pronounced in lyrics/song. The only mini criticism I have here is that I think the last line would flow a bit better if it was 'how beautifully, painfully broken it is'. But that's just personal preference :)

I love the repetition of 'I love music' at the beginning of each stanza as it really helps to tie it all together. I would like to have seen some exploration of some different feelings throughout each stanza as each one kind of seems to say the same thing.

I'm especially a fan of this part:
I’d like to lose myself here, so let’s forget all we are,

For as long as the song lasts.

I think that's a very poignant end and sums up your poem nicely!

Overall, a really enjoyable poem to read - thanks for sharing!

Icy <3






Thanks for the review, Icy! I'm glad you enjoyed it.



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Mon Sep 14, 2020 1:35 am
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StudentAH wrote a review...



Alright, so:

I loved the formatting on this one, the lil dots are unique: I haven't seen it done this way before though I wouldn't be surprised if its been done before. Now that I look at it, I wonder if there is a symbolism behind there being one dot before the first stanza and three after the last, whereas every other stanza has two.

I like how each line starts with "I love music." It flows nicely and is poetic. I also love the way the words "five minute snippet" just tingle in my head. It's great!

I especially like how the ending of the poem references that line. It shows how all this is going on but only in the "five minute snippet" that the song lasts for. The narrator loves music because all this can happen in the span of five minutes (or how long the song lasts), and all the joys and sorrows and stories told by the song are in its own temporary space.

The only criticism I have is that each stanza seems to talk about the same thing in a different way. I feel that it would be more interesting if each stanza reviewed a different reason why the narrator loves music. The repetition of "I love music" would sound like they're listing off reasons they love music, and then at the end its all wrapped into one with the two last lines.

The two last lines are absolutely my favorite, by the way! :D

This poem definitely made me feel things. I love it!






Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it.



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Sun Sep 13, 2020 6:29 pm
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Gravitem wrote a review...



Hey! I'll just be dropping a short review because I love the poem and to me, it's one of the best descriptions of music I've seen but of course it's not just that.

I'm going to go verse by verse and just tell you what came to my mind and what I felt it meant.

The world gathered and bound in a five-minute snippet,

An artist’s soul, woven through chords and thereby set free.

I savor this connection, though we’ve never met.


Yes. I think from the experience of writing and being in love with lots of music, I can certainly believe that music isn't just the soul of the artist but also the soul of the audience. It's like the connection is so strong, that they become one. Also, I almost forgot to mention how significant that first line is.

"The world gathered and bound in a five-minute snippet"

I guess that's what it is. A simple description to start and then hitting hard with reliability. There's an impact that gives that nothing else can come up to the level of.

The memories it brings; once lost, now awoken.

Requiem, old anthem, of the child I was,


I love that smooth transition of themes. Funny thing is, it wouldn't be as smooth without the refrain, "I love music" which is why it is as smooth as it is. Okay, that's a lot of smooth.

More than the transition itself, I love the idea behind this verse. How music just binds itself with your younger and older you. I label my younger self as the one who listened to a certain kind of music and it's really magical. You can literally see personality progress just from the music experience. And then there's that nostalgic feeling you get which just gives such nice goosebumps - the kinds you wait months for.


Let me sink into your lovely lament


This made me pause for quite a while and I don't know if my interpretation is going to do justice to what it's actually supposed to mean, but I connected it to 'the beat like waves that take hold' and took it as the dip in a soundwave. Like, the lament is all the drops in the beat but how it keeps rising to the top consistently. As if music is a symbol of optimism. Maybe that's going to much in, but I'd like to think of it that way.

I’d like to lose myself here, so let’s forget all we are,

For as long as the song lasts.


Yes.

Okay, looking at the poem as a whole, I really enjoyed it. It reads somewhat raw which sounds pretty good and I'd really like to read more.

Yours sincerely,
Myth

__|_|__

COCK A DOODLE DOO!!!

A banner from @alliyah ^ ^

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Thanks for the feedback! I'm glad you liked it and I loved reading your interpretation. :)



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Sat Sep 12, 2020 5:39 pm
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silented1 says...



"The balm that soothes the weary heart." Use a different word than balm. Make it more personal. Like, the toy, or pill. Or more abstract like, the dream, vien, something.

"I’d like to lose myself here, so let’s forget all we are," This line is more personal, you can remove it but don't if it makes you like the poem less. It would be more powerful without it. More direct.

"An artist’s soul, woven through chords and thereby set free." Great line.






Thanks for the feedback :)



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Sat Sep 12, 2020 3:47 pm
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LittleLee wrote a review...



Hey, Aly!

Wow. Just... Wow. It's an absolutely stunning little poem. I don't see a lot of your work of late (other than your fantastic art, of course) so this came as a wonderful surprise.

I really like how you speak about music as being connected to the body - "Thrumming in my chest once again,
My heartbeat the rhythm, my breath in each pause."
Such lovely verses! You've really outdone yourself here.

The world gathered and bound in a five-minute snippet,
An artist’s soul, woven through chords and thereby set free.

Good god, are you a muse? You could pass for one any day.

I genuinely cannot express how much I love this poem. It's haunting, beautiful, absolutely gorgeous; I insist on seeing more of your work!

I've literally done nothing but gush over how amazing thus is, so here are a couple of things you can look at.

I would have liked it even more if the music here had been ambiguous; I get the impression it's mainly sad/semi sad music you're talking about? This really isn't something serious, though, just a mild discrepancy I found.

The beat like waves that take hold,

This line was poorly built, in my opinion. I get your meaning, but maybe you could work on it a little more?


Well, that's all. I could go on fishing, but that ruins the point of the review, so...
Aly, I swear, YOU HAVE TO WRITE MORE!

- an extremely impressed Lee






Aw thank you so much Lee! I never thought I was much of a poet so this was unexpected but a nice surprise, and it boosted my confidence lol. I'm really happy you like it. If I write more I'll definitely share. :)



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Sat Sep 12, 2020 7:11 am
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Buranko wrote a review...



Heeey I'm Buranko, ready to review your poem.
The theme of the poem is something I really love, currently listening to music while typing, and was really curious to see how will you treat the subject.
What I found was another world, with metaphors roaming wildly, energetically painting this wonderful picture.
I am a huge fan of metaphors, therefore a huge fan of your poem. Some of your metaphors really impressed me, I wouldn't have thought about them before "an artist's soul woven through chords".
Every stanza covers a different topic. The first one describes music as a whole, the second talks about the memories music can bring back and the third is about the soothing effect music can have.
I strongly believe that music is the art form that resonates best with our fragile human hearts.Keep up the good work!






Thanks for the review Buranko! I'm happy you liked it. Music is something I'm passionate about, so I'm glad I was able to convey some of those feelings. :)




"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how."
— Fredrich Nietzche (Philosopher)