Young Writers Society

Good [insert greeting]!

First off, I love the feel of your poem. It begins almost softly, lulling the reader into a feeling of deep love. Then it takes a darker turn, exposing what the narrator’s relationship is like on the inside. By the end of your poem, it almost seems as if the narrator was never in a relationship with this person at all, and it was a just a forlorn wish. That was my interpretation anyway.

In particular, I love the way you used clay as an analogy to how the narrator feels with this person. And then later, I loved how you touched back on that by describing the way the narrator couldn’t let go using the previous clay analogy.

They was you round you whole poem together was great as well. I’m not talking about the end, although it was a good ending. I’m talking about the title. It really draws attention to the true meaning behind the poem, even if it was only mentioned in passing in the actual work.

Anyway, I really loved your poem, and hope to see more of your work around soon! Stay safe and keep writing!

-Lizzy

Hi, AlyTheBookworm, Pineapple here for a small review!

I absolutely loved your poem. It was a short, relatable one about unrequited love. It seemed so realistic and I bet a lot of youngsters could relate to it. The analogy of the sun and moon was a beautiful touch too. It reminded me of how when we have a crush on someone, we so wish they could listen to our feelings instead of us having to confess them.

My favorite lines were "I can't tell you/ to let go of me/ when I cling to your hands/ like bits of clay". That was such a creative stanza.

Overall, fantastic job and I can't wait to see more of your writing!

Signed,
Pineapple