.
Sometimes I search for you
In the folders on my phone
I regret the lack of photos, I never knew
That we'd run out of time
And you’d leave me alone
But now here I am
Without you
.
.
So I pull up your songs instead, they’re over two decades old
You never finished that album
I wish I’d pushed you to do it, I bet it’d have sold
But now all I have are crappy recordings, the sum
Of what is left of you
.
.
The tinny audio buzzes and pops, muffled and weak
Corrupted files are unreachable, lost like that golden age
When we sang duets, my child’s voice meek
In the sheet music you wrote, I felt your soul in each page
I listened and knew your heart
.
.
I close my eyes and sift through chords
So beautifully painful, to picture your hands run through arpeggios
Your breath in the microphone, mouth sculpting the words
The guitar that you cradled, the crying strings, but now no one knows
What the lyrics meant to you
.
.
I wish that in one of those precious moments,
When I was curled up in your lap, my head on your chest,
I had had the sense,
To ask why my favorite song from that half-complete album, one of your best,
Was named “Extrañándote”,
Missing you
.
.
.
.
.
(The song this poem was inspired by, recorded in 2000: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1LKY8D2mGfrJpdWgW...
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137,660 Literary Works • 672,057 Reviews
Hello @AlyTheBookworm its me #Dossereana just with a changed user name, I'm here to do a quick review on your poem, so lets get started shell we.
I loved reading this first part it gave me, these sort of feels of regret about something that should have happened didn't happen like I'd imagined it would. I can say that the way you have put some of these things into different lines in serten places it mite not make sens, that mite be just the way I'm reading it though, I just think the place over here were you put the comer and then carried on, I just think that you should have put the comer in and then started on a new line, or put a full stop in instead, because of the way the talking changes of what its talking about. if I'm wrong pleas tell me because I love the poem and I don't want to bring the one hew wrote it down.First thing that I would like to say is, I like the poem very much, I think that all the lines go pretty well together, and I loved the recording, it just flowed so nicely I couldn't help but smile as I listened to it.
okay last little nit pick for me was over here, I like it all really I did, but when your got to the last line Missing you, I was not sure if that was part of the name of the song or not because it was on a new line and it just seemed like it did not really go with the rest of the poem, not to be rude or anything but it just seemed like last minute drop in line, that could have worked so much better if it was put there differently or put some were else in the poem.
The rest of the poem was great don't get me wrong I really loved it, you need to keep writing them because this one was really good.
This is all that I can say, I really loved this poem and hope to read more in the future.
I hope that you have a great Day/Night
@Vulcanite siring over the green room sparing shards of reviews as she went
Thanks for the helpful review Vulcanite! I'll keep these points in mind for future poems.
I'm glad that I could help you out.
Hello Aly The Bookworm,
Stellarjay here for a review! Before I continue I would like to note that I did not listen to the recording. (I'm to lazy to get my earbuds) This was beautifully written. The voice behind it was filled with emotion and a sense of feeling. I loved it! But there is just one thing.
This line doesn't match the flow of the rest of the poem. It's not that huge and doesn't effect the poem as a whole. I just feel like the line is a bit long.
Apart from that, this was an amazing poem! I will definitely listen to the recording soon! Keep on writing and have a good rest of your day!
- Stellarjay
Thanks for the review Stellar. I agree, that line does fit a bit awkwardly into the flow of the poem- so thanks for pointing it out to that. I'm glad you liked it overall though!
*for pointing that out to me
typos sorry haha
Really enjoyed this piece.
Was not expecting to be able to listen to the song while reading but it definitely amplified the whole feeling the poem is creating.
(I actually jumped when I heard that initial audio pop haha).
Overall very emotional and well written!
Thank-you for the comment
Oh God, this is really really good! The nostalgia is real and powerful and I feel the pain of loss, the speaker is nostalgic about her used to be partner whom she is left only with painful sweet memories I love the boldness and the direct address by the speaker to her thought ghosts. bravo.. keep on writing
Thank-you so much for the kind comment!
The poem is actually about a family member of mine. I'm glad that I was able to successfully convey the sense of nostalgia and loss I was going for. Poetry isn't my strong suit, so it makes me happy that you enjoyed it.