• Home

Young Writers Society

E - Everyone

​I Wish I Had Me As A Friend

by AilahEvelynMae

I wish I had me as a friend, so dear,

I'd banish loneliness, whisper away her fear,

In every word, her voice would find its tone,

A symphony of strength, no longer alone.

With kindness, I'd paint her beauty in bright hues,

A masterpiece of self-worth, never to lose,

No more fleeing problems, no desperate chase,

Just a mirror reflecting her radiant grace.

I'd be her anchor in the tempest's raging might,

Breaking chains of sorrow, igniting hope's light,

No more pacing circles in gloomy despair,

Together, we'd soar through the boundless air.

I'd hold her close, as her tears softly fade,

Each heartache embraced in our friendship's shade,

Friday nights would be filled with laughter and delight,

Weekends a treasure, every moment shining bright.

Now, she knows her worth, her beauty, her might,

In this friendship, she's found her guiding light,

No more longing for something new or better,

For I am her friend, a constant, unwavering tether.

Is this a review?



User avatar
34 Reviews

Points: 2119
Reviews: 34

Thu Sep 14, 2023 11:07 pm
View Likes
ariah347 wrote a review...

Hey there! I just read another work from you and saw this on the main page. I enjoyed your previous work and wanted to read and review this as well! First, I will comment on the rhyme scheme. My favorite rhymes that you used were the ending use of "better" and "tether." The syllable length between each line mainly stayed within an eleven count on average. The word count within each line stayed at seven mostly. These two amounts helped the flow and rhythm towards keeping the poem easy to read. Additionally, this is a stark contrast to your previous work! I cannot help but compare the two as they are opposite tones and messages. The other read titled "The Complexity of Human Connection: Reflections on a Lost Relationship," was defeated and woe-is-me, while this is triumphant and celebratory. I would like to know if these were written in different periods and if they are both based on personal experiences. It is interesting how we can go from those two very different spaces and write things that are taken from them. With that being said, this equally encompasses the intent. Along with the last two words and how they rhyme, those last two lines are my favorite. If only we could all have what you describe as a friend or perhaps the voice inside of ourselves guiding us through life. Kudos to you! Wishing you well wherever you are in the world. <3

User avatar
208 Reviews

Points: 13179
Reviews: 208

Thu Sep 14, 2023 6:31 pm
View Likes
WinnyWriter wrote a review...

Hi, there! I'm here to leave a quick review.

I like the idea you've got going here, that being how it would be to befriend yourself. Personally, I can't decide if having myself as a best friend would be awesome or a disaster, but that's beside the point.

Great job on tackling a rhyming poem. I don't seem to see a lot of those. I think the rhyme of "better" and "tether" in the last two lines is one of the most creative ones in the poem. That being said, I'd definitely suggest working on your rhythm. Reading the poem out loud is a suggestion I've seen for making sure it flows well. Sometimes it can be choppy sounding if the cadences and accents and are off beat or whatever.

I can see you definitely put some work into this poem, so great job, and keep writing!

User avatar
140 Reviews

Points: 13980
Reviews: 140

Thu Sep 14, 2023 5:08 am
View Likes
OrabellaAvenue wrote a review...

Hiya! This is Orabella, here with a quick review.

First of all, I gotta say that these rhymes are amazing. They're not forced and they flow wonderfully throughout.

I sure wish I had a friend like you! No loneliness, no fear, no problems. Sounds amazing. Almost too good to be true...

I'd love to hear a longer story about these two. The character that's speaking seems almost full of themself - in a way, they're bragging how good of a friend they are. Which could be totally true and not actually bragging, but also, it's possible they're a little too boastful. I wonder what their friend thinks of them; maybe they literally have the best friendship ever thought up. Or maybe she secretly dislikes them. Who knows?!

But anyway, I really liked this poem, and I enjoyed reading it immensely. A story would be cool, but I like the poem the way it is. I'm not sure it needs anything added to it.

Also, sorry about the shortness and the absence of clarity. I'm falling asleep as I write this, so I'm not sure exactly how clear this is, or if it makes sense at all.

Don't forget to keep writing!

AilahEvelynMae says...

Thank you for your wonderful review! That really helps me understand how others interpret the poem. Thank you!!! You're awesome!

“I'd much rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.”
— Carrie Bradshaw