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Is It Love?

by 1nspire


I want to believe 

that our love is real,

not just a game,

but how you truly feel.                                                                                                                          

I'm dying for a way

for me to really know

that what you're thinking

is the same as what you show.                                                                                                                      

There were so many moments

that I wanted to freeze,

but those times are gone,

lost in the breeze.                                                                                                                                   

Maybe it was the time,

spring, love in the air,

it was just the season,

and you never really cared.                                                                                                                     

Each time you say goodbye,

I pray it's not the last,

but maybe happiness

was just a thing of the past.                                                                                                                  

You're part of me now,

and every time you walk away,

I have to stop myself

from begging you to stay.                                                                                                                     

I bite my tongue,

and tuck the words away,

more scared of what you'd think,

than of what you'd actually say.                                                                                                           ,,

I wonder if it hurts you

when our hands drift apart,

to you it might be nothing,

but it always breaks my heart.                                                                                                             

When we're together,

everything feels right,

you're the first text in the morning

and the last call at night.                                                                                                                          

But the moment you're gone,

I can't help but feel

like it was just a lie,

and none of it was real.                                                                                                                        

I know that I love you,

I guess I'm just afraid,

that even though you say it,

you don't feel the same.                                                                                                                        

I've tried so hard

to build these walls,

but around you,

they always seem to fall.                                                                                                                      

I just want to say I'm sorry

that I don't say how I feel;

I'm just scared to admit 

that to me, this love is real. 


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User avatar
33 Reviews


Points: 48
Reviews: 33

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Tue Jan 08, 2019 6:39 pm
tinybookfarie says...



Tinybookfarie here for a review!

I love it when poems ryhme. It’s neat, skilled, and beautiful all at the same time and that is what I would describe your poem. I think you did a marvelous job and I love this. The only thing i’ll Point out was the part that said..

“I guess i’m Just afraid
That even though you say it,
You don’t feel the same.”

There is nothing entirely wrong with it, because it kinda sounds similar, but i just feel like you couldv’e written in a way that was a lot more smother like with a lot of the other words. Other than that, I think it was GREAT!!!!
My favorite part was..

“There was so many moments
That I wanted to freeze.
But those times are gone,
Lost in the breeze.”

Good job and keep up the good work!!!!!!!!:):)




1nspire says...


Thank you for the review, hope you have a great day!



User avatar
33 Reviews


Points: 48
Reviews: 33

Donate
Tue Jan 08, 2019 5:30 pm
tinybookfarie wrote a review...



Tinybookfarie here for a review!

I love it when poems ryhme. It’s neat, skilled, and beautiful all at the same time and that is what I would describe your poem. I think you did a marvelous job and I love this. The only thing i’ll Point out was the part that said..

“I guess i’m Just afraid
That even though you say it,
You don’t feel the same.”

There is nothing entirely wrong with it, because it kinda sounds similar, but i just feel like you couldv’e written in a way that was a lot more smother like with a lot of the other words. Other than that, I think it was GREAT!!!!
My favorite part was..

“There was so many moments
That I wanted to freeze.
But those times are gone,
Lost in the breeze.”

Good job and keep up the good work!!!!!!!!:):)




Random avatar

Points: 24
Reviews: 11

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Thu Jan 03, 2019 6:42 am
wetumbrella5 wrote a review...



Hi.
Your poet was quite amazing piece of work. You are very good in describing human feelings.

You have chosen your words very correctly and carefully in this poem, and each words seems to be well-thought.

Your poem is really great, which means rarely a word needs to be changed, and every single word is in its own place.

By the way, your last two verses are really amazing and catching- the most of all the others.

Keep writing!




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302 Reviews


Points: 18713
Reviews: 302

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Wed Jan 02, 2019 5:39 pm
Liberty wrote a review...



Hi 1nspire!!!

This is a really great poem, it's very lyrical. :D

I just have ONE mistake to point out: In the following phrase you wrote:


"I wonder if it hurts you

when are hands drift apart,"


I don't know if you noticed but you wrote "are" as in "are you okay?". I'm pretty sure you meant to write "our" instead of "are".

Over all, your poem was great and very emotional! Great job!

Keep on writing! :D

~Liberty500




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85 Reviews


Points: 697
Reviews: 85

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Wed Jan 02, 2019 5:16 am
TheMulticoloredCyr wrote a review...



Hey! Full disclosure, I don't usually review poetry. I write a little, but that does not mean I know what I'm doing, and thus, I really don't know what I'm talking about. That said, here is my amateur opinion from the eyes of someone who does not consistently read, write, or review poetry. Lovely, let's go.

I know that poetry gains some strengths from repetition, as do most forms of media (see, Hamilton, the musical if you don't think it stretches further than the literary arts. No one can tell me to "Wait for it" anymore with me getting chills from my conflicting emotions. That musical is good. Moving on.) but here that tactic, as you used it, wasn't as well done as it could have been. Every single, what do you call it? Stanza? Whatever it is, the paragraph things, are the same. Instead of building up layers of emotion by making the reader (me) associate different emotions with the same pattern, in this case, the pattern of the lines (referring to the number of syllables in each line in what order) (I wasn't kidding when I said I didn't know what I was talking about). Anyway, instead of that, the repetition is causing that effect where your eyes see that everything is really similar so they skip over stuff. (there's probably a name for that).

Anyway, as this probably made abundantly clear, I don't know anything about poetry. I'm literally stating the rules of motifs in writing in what is probably the most confusing way possible as it relates to my opinion of your poem. You should probably ignore me. I'm going to bed (because I have to wake up tomorrow, you know, like a responsible human, of which I am neither)





Be led by your talent and not by your self-loathing ... everything beautiful in the world is within you.
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