Alone I sit
awaiting your call,
walking a tightrope
just waiting to fall.
Maybe you won't
maybe we're already done,
as far as I can see
this battle can't be won.
I want to understand
how we got this way,
how the good times we've had
have all been thrown away.
You were busy,
so was I
but I don't
understand why
"busy" turned to
"it isn't love"
how our lives
came between us,
I never even noticed,
never had a clue
that having a life
meant I wasn't here for you.
You could have called,
we could've worked it out
but now I don't even know
what we're fighting about.
So I sit here alone
waiting for the phone to ring,
thinking about
every little thing.
The way your smile
used to be so bright,
or how you'd complain
each time I said goodnight.
"We need to talk"
that's what you said,
but all I heard
was "I think this is the end."
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Absolutely beautiful. This hit me real hard. You have a way with words.
Ash xx
Thank you!!!
I really can feel this in my heart. thanks also nearly made me cry. but of course in a good way.
I never actually thought I would say a poem someone nearly made me cry. I write as well. and people say it makes them cry. I rarely am able to find other poets work. THANKS FOR HEART FEELING MOMENT
Thank you so much!!
Hey there 1nspire!
It’s Selina from the DoubleRiders here for a review! I will warn you that I haven’t reviewed much in the last couple years so I’m a bit rusty.
First off- I love your name. I mean your username. Awesome and unique.
I haven’t gone through a break up but I still found this poem very well done. You had good rhyming and rhythm, something I look for in a poem. Very few pieces of modern poetry have the flow and rhythm, and sound more like a piece of writing from a diary. I appreciate those who use modern ideas with old basic poetry foundations, so great job on that.
Keep writing!
~ Selina
Thank you so much!
yep
Hey dear, Mem here for a review so lets get down to it then.
I feel this on a level somewhat as I've just gone through a nasty break up, but I agree whole heartedly that there comes a time where love just isnt the same and sometimes we have to let go no matter what you want in your heart.
You should consider moving them in stanzas mostly for clarity's sake just so it's easier to read your thoughts. Otherwise this is a very good poem, I expect greatness from you.
~Mem
Thanks, I'll definitely separate the lines into stanzas!!