Young Writers Society

How did you think up such a terrifyingly beautiful poem? How much pain could one have been in to go through with this? I ask myself these questions, and though I may not yet know the answers, I can't begin to let you know how formidable this poem is. I mean, seriously. You're just about my age and writing mind-boggling pieces of art. Like, can you pass on the inspiration and talent?? You have mad skill.

Your setup of the poem is perfect with four lines containing only 20 words. Well let me tell you, those 20 words sure did make a difference to not only me, but others as well after you posted it on here. I've got to read more work by you.

I'm only on 5% battery so I have to make this quick. This is awesome. This is amazing. You should be featured for this so everyone can see your work, these few 20 words. If we ever had a writing challenge to write an amazing story in 20 words even, you'd win first place right off the bat.

XD I'm glad I'm following you. Because you are an extraordinary writer and hint hint you should pass out some of that extra skill to those who could use it. way to go!!

Your new found friend/mind-boggled,

~Freak

awesomeeee

Hello there! I must say, short poems that hit hard are my favorite. This is going to be a shorter review. To start, the use of the pronoun 'the' in the second line gives the bullet the significance it deserves. The flow in this brief work is nice with the three even lines and long last one. The only thing I would suggest would to start the last three lines with lowercase letters and to maybe place a comma after 'bullet' on the second line and 'know' on the next line to give it better timing when read. That would probably make the last line hit a little harder as well. But it's your style of course, so do what makes you pleased with your work. My favorite part of this poem, and all short and strong poems really, is that it tells a story, even if it's not necessarily a specific one. It leaves my mind to wonder and create my own theories. My philosophy is that art is all subjective, but successful art makes you think, feel, or remember. You have created a very successful piece of art in my eyes. I can't wait to read more from you!
-thecolorofthesky

Bruhhhhhhh....... really though. This is deep. You sure you're fifteen? I wish I could pack a punch in such a limited amount of words. There's so much pain, so much determination, just... so MUCH. I don't know your inspiration or how you acquire your creativity, but dang... I admire you. I really really do.

This is very sad, but it was well written.
In those four lines you expressed so many people.

"I carved your name

On the bullet

So you know

You were the last thing to go through my head."

The last line had me kinda made me think.
This poem can relate to so many people.
Anyway keep writing!!!

I've been this low, of course never gone through, but you clearly packed the feelings into such a short poem. Like those below, I think you should make it a bit longer, perhaps the emphasis of feeling towards whomever made the person go to such length to want to blow their brains out. Don't get me wrong, it's very strong here, but what exactly did the person do? A bad break up? Ruining their name? Deep embarrassment?
However, taking that path just might ruin the fact that anyone can relate to this who has been deeply depressed and has someone to blame. So I think this works very well as a sort of anonymous poem. Fill in the blanks really.
I just want to ask, what was your motive for creating this?

I love it! ITt's so dramatic!

Wow.
Okay WOW!!

Soo many feels packed into just four lines. FOUR LINES!!!
This is amazing. The breaks after each line are very effective. This is as perfect as it gets.
Just one leeetle suggestion.
In the last line, split it after "go".
so that it reads:

"You were the last thing to go
Through my head. "

It further increases the impact of those last three words.

Once again. WOW!!


*Bookmarks page*

That is sad, but I enjoyed it as the sentences are simple, short and very effective.

In the future though you could make it a little bit longer so there is some more detail.

Other than that I liked your poem and I think you did a great job.

Keep up the good work!

D;
Nooo
that's so sad oh my gosh.
You really kicked this one in the brains. It was so short and simple and effective.
I love the last line. It was almost funny in a disparaging way.
But seriously this was so tragic.

Spoiler! :

DEEP