Hello, Sylar!
I gave this poem a like because I really understand how the speaker in the poem feels and because of the way you allow the reader to fill in the blanks, but still create a vivid experience for the reader.
That being said, there are a few things that could be improved upon.
First of all, I noticed that there is a repetition of "there is" or "there are." While these are grammatically correct, they are in the passive voice because they use a form of the verb "to be." So instead of saying "There is a Time magazine teetering," use teetering as the verb to create a more straightforward image. "A Time magazine teeters" is a stronger sentence. This goes for your other images that are preceded by "there are" as well.
Another example would be your first line.
There are muffled voices in the other room
Try using a verb that personifies the voices. "muffled voices creep under the door from the other room" or "muffled voices scurry in from the other room like mice" or something like that. Using a form of the verb "to be" takes away opportunities for more description.
Another thing is the "elephant in the room" cliche. It does get the point across, but I think it would be interesting if the speaker was examining a literal elephant in the room, like the other objects are literally there. It could be a porcelain elephant, or an elephant on a pillow. As it is, the use of it as its figurative meaning allows it to become an old cliche. Take command of that cliche. Let your audience know that you know it's a cliche by turning it into something else. A literal elephant in the room.
The last line leads me to believe that the speaker thinks that they are the elephant. I like this image. Perhaps bring the image of the literal elephant that I talked about above closer to the speaker, like a t-shirt or even a design on a mug that they're drinking tea out of.
While the title works, I think you should reconsider naming it something that conveys more of the imagery in the poem rather than the literal meaning. I think it would make the poem more attractive overall.
Altogether, I really enjoyed reading this. I hope that you find this review useful. Have a good day, and keep poeting!
Points: 29096
Reviews: 862
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